Chapter 1 - The Drug Trial

SUNDAY

My boxers.  Fold.  Her panties.  Fold.  My t-shirt. Fold.  More panties. Inside-out.  Fold.  Her bra.  Hang up.  Sports bra.  Fold.  More boxers.  Fold.

I placed all of the folded laundry into the basket and returned to our bedroom where I proceeded to put everything in dresser drawers.

“Done.”  I said.  Walking back into the living room.  I collapsed on the couch and grabbed the TV remote.  I started scanning Netflix for something to watch.  I feel like I’ve seen every series here.  I can always watch something again.  I don’t think I have time for a full movie before Kathy returns home.

My name is Aaron.  I’m 36.  Unemployed.  I live with my girlfriend Kathy, and our dog Speckles.  I’ve been out of work for a while now.  Before the pandemic I was bouncing around various temp jobs.  Once COVID19 happened, all of the job vacancies had dried up, so now I spend my days doing various household chores, and reviewing streaming TV shows for my blog.

Today was a typical Sunday for us.  I was home.  Kathy was working.  She’s been trying to put in as much time at work she can.  Money’s been tight.  I had just gotten done doing our laundry, and decided it was time to relax before dinner.

I was getting frustrated at not finding something to watch.  I put down the remote.  Speckles came up to me and nuzzled my hand.  It must be 5 o’clock.

“Time to eat?” I asked Speckles.  

Speckles started running around in circles to acknowledge the word “eat.”

I got up and walked to the kitchen and Speckles followed me.  I opened up the cabinet to pull out a can of dog food.  That cabinet was empty.  “Sorry girl, we’ll have to go shopping later.”

I got some dry kibble and scooped them into her dish.  She sat down and whined.

“Yeah I know you want something different.”  I opened the fridge and pulled out a hot dog. I broke it up and threw it on top of the kibble.  Speckles immediately started eating the hot dog, ignoring the dry food.

I returned to the couch and pulled out my cell phone to browse social media.

Just then, Kathy walked through the front door visibly upset.

“What’s wrong babe?” I asked my girlfriend.

Kathy put her bag down and sat down on the couch next to me.  “Work cut my hours.” she said.  “The company doesn’t have enough customers right now so they’re reducing the workforce.  I’m only working 3 days a week now.”

“I’m so sorry.” I said, trying to comfort her.

She shrugged it off.  “Aaron” she said, looking at me.  She sighed.  “You’re going to need to find a job too.”  

“I’ve been trying.” I said, in a defensive tone. “No one is hiring.”  Honestly, I haven’t tried in a few months.  Most of the temp places I’ve applied to were not open to in-person work.  “None of the jobs pay nearly enough.”

“You’re not trying hard enough.  The Grocery store is hiring!”

“I’m NOT working for minimum wage at a grocery store!”

“Aaron.” she said.  “We’re running out of money.  We’re broke.  My savings account is almost gone.  We can’t live like this anymore.” 

I was stunned.  This is the first time I heard that she was dipping into her savings.

“You’ve been using your savings to support us?”

“Yes.” she said, exasperated.  “I didn’t want to tell you. I love you, and I didn’t want us to break up because of finances.”

“You were thinking of breaking up?”

“No.  Yes.  I mean, We can’t keep living like this.”

I put my head in my hands.  I can’t let Kathy walk out of my life.  I’d have nothing.  Time to man-up.

“OK.” I said.  “I’ll try to apply to the grocery story.  I’ll do it first thing in the morning”

“Thank you.” she said.  I noticed her eyes were watery.  Was she about to break up with me if I didn’t try to get a job?

We kept our distance for the rest of the evening.  I realized I needed to fix this.  Our relationship was hanging on by a thread.  

* * *

MONDAY

First thing in the morning I awoke, showered and got dressed.  I put on a button down shirt and a pair of nice jeans.  I let the dog out.  As I was eating some cereal, Kathy came out to join me, already dressed for work.  We ate our breakfast in silence.

She turned to me.  “What’s your plans today?”

“I’m heading over to the grocery store to see if I can apply for a job.” I replied.

“If you’re going to the store.” she said.  “Can you pick up a few things?” She got up and handed me the shopping list from the fridge.  

“Sure.” I said taking the list. There wasn’t much on it. “How about you?”

“Today’s a working day.” She said.  “Thank God.  We’ll have to ration my next paycheck because future ones will be smaller.”

I had a sympathetic smile.   I got up from my seat and put my cereal bowl in the sink.  “I’m heading out now.  Maybe I can start today!  Hopefully.”

“Good luck.” she said.

I opened the front door.  “Love you” I said before walking outside.

“Love you too.” she answered.

OK, Aaron.  I can’t come home without a job.  This is important.  Kathy will certainly leave me if I come home unemployed.

I climbed into my car.  The gas tank was almost empty.  I pulled up my bank account on my phone to check my balance.  Only $20?  I sighed. 

I drove to the gas station and put only $5 in my tank.  This should be good enough for driving around town today.

* * *

I drove to the grocery store.  I grabbed a disposable mask from the passenger seat and walked into the store.  I eyed the customer service area.  I suddenly got nervous.  I wasn’t ready for this.

I did my shopping first.  Frozen pizzas, dog food, cereal.  I remembered I only had $15 in my bank account so I had to be very frugal here.  I looked at the price of everything.  Everything was so expensive.  I settled on 1 pizza and 2 cans of dog food.  I’ll have to come back when I get paid.  

I paid for the groceries and put them into the car before returning into the store. I took a deep breath and walked straight to customer service.  

After about 5 minutes, a female employee came to the customer service counter.  

“Can I help you?” she asked.

“I was hoping for a job application.” I said.

“One moment.” she said walking into the back through a door.  She came back with a paper and pen.  “Fill this out, and you can give it back to me.  The manager on duty will be by shortly.”

“Great.”  I said, taking the paper and pen.

I started filling out the job application.  Name, address, previous employment, school, etc.  When I was done, I put the application back on the counter.

While I was waiting for someone to take my application, I started pacing the front of the store looking at various things.  The ice machine, the lottery machines, the newspaper rack. Then I saw a bulletin board with a whole bunch of flyers.

I noticed a flyer with big block letters that said “$600 CASH”  I read the flyer.  “Looking for people to participate in COVID Vaccine clinical trials.”

$600?  We could certainly use that.  I pulled off a tear-off tab that had the phone number on it and put it in my pocket.  Plus I would be doing society a favor.  A win for everyone!

A few minutes later a guy about my age appeared.  He appeared to be the manager, dressed in a corporate polo shirt.  “Are you ready for an interview today?”  he asked.

“Yes”  I said.

“Follow me.” he said, opening a door for me to walk through.  We walked up the stairs to what appeared to be an employees-only section of the store.  He led me to a small conference room and closed the door behind us.

He scanned my job application.  

“We have an opening for a stocker.  If you can do that we can look into training you as a cashier.”

“Sure.”  I said.  “How much does it pay?”

“$12 an hour”

12 an hour?  The temp jobs I used to work paid much more than this.  I can’t believe I have to accept this.  You gotta take this Aaron.  For Kathy.  “And when can I start?”

“You can start tomorrow afternoon.” he said. “We have a number of open shifts this week we can fill.”

“That’s great.” I said straining to show excitement.

“Welcome to the team Aaron.” he said.  “This will have what you need to know.  What to wear on your first day, etc.”  He handed me an employee handbook.

I walked out of the grocery store depressed.  $12 an hour?  I did the math in my head. If I worked a full week, and a full week isn’t guaranteed, take out taxes and stuff, I’d be making under $500 a paycheck every 2 weeks.  Certainly not ideal.  Barely enough for rent.  But any amount will help.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the clinical trial flyer’s tear-off tab.  I can make $600 right now.

I returned to my car and pulled out my cell phone and dialed the number on the paper.

The voice message said they were open right now and were taking new participants.  I plugged the address into my phone and started to drive there.

* * *

I pulled up to an industrial complex.  It did not look like a medical complex at all.  I got a little nervous.  This is a little sketchy.  There were other cars in the parking lot, so maybe this wasn’t so bad.

I found the right office and went inside.  When I got to the waiting room, there was a long line in front of a receptionist window.  There was large banner over it that read “COVID19 Vaccine Trials”

Ug.  I don’t want to wait in this line.

I noticed a person at an empty counter.  I decided to see what that window was for.

“Hi” I said to the woman behind the plexi-glass barrier.  “What’s this window for?”

“This is for Trial 1350.” she said. “Are you here for this one?”

This must be a different Covid vaccine trial.  “How much did it pay again?” I asked.

“$2000”

$2000!  Hell yeah.  This beats the $600 for standing in that long line.

“Yes!  1350!  I’m here for this one” I said, confidently

She slid a clipboard under the plexi-glass.  “Fill this out, return it to me”

I filled out the form.  Same stuff again.  This time it asked me more personal questions.

Height: 6’

Weight: 200lbs

Hair: Light Brown

Eyes: Hazel.

Have you had a flu shot in 2020? No

Have you had COVID19?  No

Are you on HRT? No

Then a whole checklist of underlying medical history.  Heart disease, blood pressure, smoker.   I checked ‘No’ for almost everything.

I found an info sheet titled “Trial 1350”.  I scanned it.  Genetic markers?  Chromosome modification.  All of this stuff went over my head.  Why can’t they put this stuff in laymens’ terms?  Why can’t they just say, “Trying to find a vaccine for COVID19?” 

Then I came to the waiver.

“I agree to..”  Yawn.  Don’t care.  I hate legaleze.   “We don’t assume responsibility for…” Yeah yeah, I get it, don’t sue us.  

I signed the waiver and brought it back to the counter.

“You may sit down.” the receptionist said.  “Your name will be called shortly”

A few minutes later, A nurse poked her head through the door.  “Aaron?”

“That’s me.”  I said.  I looked at the long line.  Suckers.

I was escorted into an examination room.  I sat there for about 5 minutes staring at various wall decorations.  A painting.  A PhD degree.  Various artwork of atoms and DNA.

Just then a male doctor in his 40’s came into the room.  “Hi I’m Dr. Fry” he said.  “Thank you so much for volunteering for this trial.”

“No problem.”  I said.

“May I ask if you’re transgender?” he asked.

“What? No. I’m not Transgender.” That was a weird question. 

“Oh. OK.”  Dr. Fry said, looking a little disappointed and confused.  “I assume you’ve read up on what we’re doing here right?”

“Yes I did.”  Granted I skimmed it, but I didn’t understand it.  “It sounds very interesting.  Very good for society.” I was more interested in the $2000 they’re going to give me.

He picked up a long cotton swab.  “You can take your mask off and open up.  I need to swab the inside of your mouth.”

I took off my mask and opened up my mouth as he scraped the inside of my cheek with the swab.  He put that in a sealed container.  

“What’s that going to do?”  I asked.

“That- is going to tell me what you had for lunch.” He laughed.  He noticed I wasn’t laughing.  He cleared his throat.  “Sorry.  Doctor humor.  It will give me a baseline genetic profile.” He replied in a more serious tone.  “This way we can compare any changes.” He turned his back to me and started opening some packages.   “Are you afraid of needles?”

“Yes I am.”

“OK.  I need you to remove your shirt.”

I unbuttoned my shirt and pulled it off.  

Dr. Fry turned back around and took an alcohol swab and wiped up my upper arm.  “So some of our participants are getting the experimental drug.  Some are getting a placebo.  This is a blind study, so I don’t know which one this is”

I nodded.

“Did you notice my art work up there?”  he said.  “I painted it myself.”

I looked.  It was a picture of a beach.  “Yeah.  I suppose.  It’s nice-  Ow!”

He stabbed me in the arm with a needle while I was distracted.  He removed the needle and wiped away any residual blood.

“OK. All Done.” he said putting a small bandage on it.  “You can put your shirt and mask back on.  Your arm will likely hurt the rest of the day.  I need you to come back on Friday so we can check the progress.”

“Fine.” I said putting my shirt back on and starting to button it up. “I can do that.”  My arm hurt.  I rotated it to see if I could get it to stop hurting.

"Did you really paint that picture?" I asked.

"Hell no." he said.  "I'm a doctor, I can barely sign my own name legibly"  He laughed again. “Here’s my business card.  When you come in on Friday, come straight to the counter and ask for me.  You can pick up your check at the lobby.”

The doctor escorted me out of the room and to the lobby.  I walked back up to the window I submitted the clipboard to.  She handed me a check.  I examined it.  It was made out to me.  One Thousand Dollars. 

I turned to the lady at the counter.  “Only one thousand?”

“You get the other half when you return on Friday.” she said.

“Oh OK.” I said.  I still got $1000, so I considered this a win!

* * *

I was excited to have this much money.  First I stopped at the bank and deposited the check into my bank account.  I next stopped at the gas station and filled up the rest of my car’s tank.  Finally I returned to the grocery store where I picked up the rest of our shopping list that I couldn't afford this morning.

When I arrived home it was late afternoon. Kathy wasn’t home yet.  I decided to do my share of the chores around the house.

Around dinner time, Kathy came home and I greeted her at the door excited.  “Hey babe!” I said.

“Hey” she said.  “How was your interview?”

“I got the job!”  I said.  “And I got a signing bonus!   Let’s order out to dinner to celebrate!”

“That’s awesome!” she said smiling.  The first time I’ve seen her smile in a long while.  She gave me a hug and a kiss.

* * *

I did an online order for one of the local restaurants that UberEats was affiliated with.  I got a burger and Kathy got a caesar salad.  

After dinner I was feeling great!  The pain in my arm was gone.  I suddenly felt like I had a lot of energy.  I wonder what was in that drug.  

“Thank you for dinner.” Kathy said kissing me.  

Wow, the moment she came in for a kiss I suddenly got really turned on.  Like really turned on.  As if someone cranked up my libido.

I embraced her and continued kissing her.

“Wow, babe”  she said.  “Someone’s happy to see me.”

We didn’t even bother going to the bedroom as we made love right there on the couch.

After I came, Kathy was in a daze.  “That was great babe.  I know we both needed that!”

I was still out of breath.  But I smiled anyway.  I got up and discarded my condom into the trash and laid back down on the couch next to Kathy.

Kathy caressed my chest and rubbed against my penis again.  

And I instantly got hard again.

Kathy raised her head.  “Are you ready to go.. Again?   Wow.”

I smiled and started kissing her and she started stroking me.  I wrapped my arms around her and grabbed onto her back.

“Ow” she said.  “Your nails are digging into me.”

I looked at my nails.  They were definitely longer than I remember.  I may need to clip them later.  I was interrupted as Kathy pushed me down and sat on my lap as she played with my cock and then slid it into her.

The second orgasm was more intense.  This was great.  I never had this much stamina before.  I think I was ready for a 3rd round when Kathy fell asleep curled up around me.   I didn’t feel like waking her up. So I grabbed a blanket with my free arm and draped it over us.

Today was a great day.  I feel like I just saved my relationship.  I drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 2 - Denial

TUESDAY

Sometime in the middle of the night we both got uncomfortable and moved to our bedroom.  I woke with the sun streaming in the window.  Kathy was curled up around me, nuzzling my neck.  Speckles was laying at the edge of the bed on our feet.  I didn't have to be at my new job until 11, and today was Kathy’s day off.  

That was an incredible night of sex.  It’s been a while since it was THAT good.  I think the spontaneity of it really turned Kathy on.  And me.  In fact, I’m still turned on, noting my morning wood.

I turned my head to the side and stared at Kathy sleeping here.  She’s so cute the way she sleeps.  God I love her so much.  I would do anything for her.  I kissed her on her forehead.  I saw a small smile form on her lips while she slept.  I glanced at the clock and decided it was a good time to start getting up.   Time to get up and go to my first day of my new job.

I rolled out of bed, trying not to wake up my girlfriend or the dog.

I opened my dresser drawer and pulled out a fresh pair of boxer shorts.  My fingers brushed against an envelope I had hidden there,  I looked down at the edge of the envelope.  I knew what was in it.  It was an envelope of cash that I haven’t touched in months.  I started putting it aside for an engagement ring before the pandemic.  When I lost my last job I stopped saving.  We’re in a rough financial spot right now.  I’ve resisted the urge to take money from this envelope.  I really - really want to resume putting more money towards this.

I looked over to Kathy who was sleeping peacefully.  “One day Aaron.” I whispered to myself.  I slid my underwear drawer closed and made my way to the bathroom to take a shower.  I glanced at myself in the bathroom mirror.  My hair was a mess.  

I ran my hand through my hair.  “Huh,” I thought.  I guess I’m going to need a haircut soon.  I could’ve sworn I only got it cut recently.  I usually keep it short.

I turned on the shower and jumped in.  I let the hot water just cascade off my shoulders for a few minutes.  I shampooed my hair first, then grabbed the body wash.

I ran body wash over my chest and jumped when I lathered up my chest.  That hurts.  I looked down and my nipples were very erect.

I touched them again and jumped.  It felt like they were irritated.  This must be a side effect of the drug.   I looked down at my nails too.  I remember them looking long last night.  They were certainly longer than I usually kept them.  I put it all out of my mind and tried to avoid irritating my chest any further as I rinsed off and finished my shower.

The uniform for the grocery store was plain black on black with no writing on the shirt.  I didn’t have black jeans so I found a pair of black slacks in my closet.  I had a plain black polo shirt I could wear.  I quickly got dressed and headed out to the kitchen.

Speckles was not far behind me.  I let her outside and continued making myself breakfast.  I ate breakfast in my quiet house.  While I was eating, I skimmed the news on my phone.

When I was done eating, Kathy came out of the bedroom wearing just panties and one of my t-shirts.  She came over and gave me a very nice passionate morning kiss.

“Good Morning to you too.” I said smiling.

She sat down with her breakfast and just stared at it.

“Something wrong?”  I asked.  “You look nervous.”

“Oh” she said, her train of thought interrupted.  “Yeah.  It’s nothing.  It’s just weird not going to work today.”

“It’s OK.” I told her.  “This is just a phase.  This will all pass.  The world will return to normal. You’ll get to go back to work full time.  We’ll get through this together.”

She smiled at me.  “Thank you.” 

I deposited my breakfast bowl in the sink.  I then rummaged through the fridge and cabinets for something I could bring for lunch.

All we had was enough for a ham and cheese sandwich.  So I proceeded to make the sandwich and wrapped it in cellophane.

I had about 10 minutes to kill, so I checked my phone and scrolled through my emails.  There was some feedback to the latest blog I posted.  I read through those and responded.

Kathy stood up and wrapped her arms around me and kissed me. “Good luck on your first day of work” 

* * *

I parked in front of the grocery store and I got out of the car.  The breeze blew and made my hair fall into my face.  I pushed it back.  There was hair tickling my ear so I brushed it behind my ear.  OK.  That’s it.  After work I’m getting a haircut.  

I put my mask on and entered the store.  I went over to customer service and announced my presence.  Today’s manager, whose name is Mike, came out to greet me.  

“Hi Aaron.”  Mike said.  “Welcome to our team.”

“Thanks.”  I said, smiling.  Then I realized he couldn’t see my smile behind this face mask.

Mike then proceeded to walk me around the store showing me employee-only areas, where to clock in, and where to take lunch.  I got a name badge  and I clocked in.

This took quite a while.  Mike stopped and talked with almost every employee in the store.  He didn’t introduce me to them, mind you, he just started up conversation with them about random things.  He started flirting with a teenage cashier.  Mike looked 40, so I’m not sure what’s up with that.  She rolled her eyes and glanced at me.  I shrugged my shoulders.  

We moved on to another section of the store.  “We have very nice people who work on our team.” he said.  “Very nice to look at too, if you know what I mean.” He laughed.

“Yeah”  I said, simply acknowledging that he was still talking.

Great. I work for a creep.  The less I interact with this guy, the better.

When Mike FINALLY got around to showing me my new job he brought me to the produce section.  Today’s task will be restocking it. He showed me where to get the boxes and the cart and where to put them.  

Mike left me to do something else, or likely to annoy someone else, and I finally got to work.  I got a cart full of apples and bananas and brought them to the apples section.

I opened the first box and started placing apples in their appropriate bin.

Next to me, stocking grapes, was another stocker who looked to be a high school guy with long hair in a ponytail.  He looked at me and nodded.

“Hi”  I said.  “I’m Aaron.  I’m the new guy.”

“Hi.” he said.  “I’m Ben.”

When I was done emptying the boxes of apples, I turned my attention to the bananas.  Ben had moved over to lettuce.

“So Aaron,” Ben said.  “What brings you to our  - quote Team?” He made air quotes with his hands, clearly making fun of this stores corporate culture.

“Well, I couldn’t find a job elsewhere.  Not many places hiring in-person jobs these days.”

“I feel ya.” he said.  “I just graduated.  No college.  No other jobs.  So I’m stuck here.”

“You just graduated?” I asked

“Yeah.  Class of 2020!  No prom.  No graduation.  Haven’t seen many of my friends since March.  Many of them have already left to go to college.”

“That sucks dude.” 

“Yeah.” he said.

We both stocked a little more.  I decided to make more small talk with Ben.  

“So how do you like working here?”

“It’s just OK.”  he replied.  “I need the money too.  Some of the people are nice.  That guy Mike, not so much.  He doesn’t even remember my name.  But I find that if you ignore him, he’s harmless.”

“Good advice.” I replied.

“I was thinking of applying for a job over at Starbucks across the street.” he said.  “But they’re not hiring at the moment and have layed off a whole bunch of people.”

I continued stocking.  After the bananas were done I went to get another cart of produce and started stocking those as well.  Around lunch time my muscles started to hurt.

I was rotating both arms and stretching my back.  I tried stretching my legs too.  Why are my muscles so tight?  I know I’ve been stationary since the pandemic started, but I didn't expect to be this out of shape.

I sat down in the break room and kept to myself.  The other employees in the break room were all friendly with each other.  But they were all much younger than me.  All either in their late teens like Ben, or in their 20’s.  I certainly felt like the old man in this situation.

I quickly devoured that sandwich I brought from home.  I was still hungry.  

I stood up from the table, but it hurt when I got up.  I grimaced as I walked it out.  Thankfully nobody noticed me.  They would have certainly called me an old man then.

I got the next cart of groceries to stock.  I pushed through the pain.  But it only got worse.  Everything hurt.  My shirt was rubbing up against my nipples.  They felt raw.  My skin felt warm.  Even my hair hurt.  I grimace behind my mask.  I looked at the time.  Only one more hour left to go in my shift.

I was putting cereal boxes on the top shelf when I realized I couldn’t reach the top shelf anymore.  I stretched and reached my arm to put the box up there.  It felt like it was getting harder and harder to do.  30 more minutes.

The pain was becoming more intense as I tried stretching to reach boxes.  My breathing was becoming more and more labored. And I'm still hungry! What’s wrong with me?  10 more minutes.

I finished with the cereal boxes.  I put the cart away and clocked-out right as the shift ended.

I was originally going to get a haircut after work.  I’m just not feeling up to that right now, so I walked out of the store and straight to my car.  It was so painful. Everything hurt. Even my feet.  Every step hurt.   I tried to hide the pain.  Thankfully I had a mask on or my face would give it away.

* * *

When I got home, it felt like my bones and skin were on fire.  I couldn’t stand anymore, but I pushed through it.  I was sweating.  I went into the bathroom, holding onto the vanity.  I turned on the cold water and splashed it on my face.

Kathy called from our bedroom.  “Hey babe! How was your day?”

“It was fine.”  I said.  “I spent all day stocking shelves.”

I looked in the mirror at my now wet face.  Wait.  Is my hair even longer? It’s falling over my ears. My mind must be playing tricks on me.  I ran my hand through it again.  I’m able to grab a good handful of hair.  A little more I could tie it back.

I’m still sweating after splashing my face.  I’m burning up.

I opened one of the vanity drawers and pulled out a digital forehead thermometer.  I pressed it to my head.  It beeped and I looked down at the red display.  104 degrees.  

104?  Shit.

My first thought was I had Covid.  That damn vaccine.  I wasn’t coughing though. So maybe this was some 24 hour virus.  Food poisoning maybe?

My next thought was whether I should tell Kathy.  If I’m sick, then I can’t go work tomorrow.  If she’s sick, she can’t go to work tomorrow either.  We really need this money.

“Hey babe” I called out to her.  “I have the sniffles.  I think it’s best if we stay in separate rooms this evening.  I can sleep on the couch.”

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“Yeah.  Last thing we need is you not to be able to go to work tomorrow.”

“OK.” she replied.  “Is there anything I can get you?”

“No, No. I’m fine”

I found a bottle of Advil in our medicine cabinet.  I popped 3 tablets.  Hopefully this makes the pain and fever go away.

* * *

We both ate dinner separately.  She baked a frozen pizza. I let her get her slices first so I could keep my distance.  I ate the rest I was so hungry.

I managed to stay away from her the whole evening. I faked some sneezes. We had some casual conversations from separate rooms about my day and her day. I talked about work and my experience stocking shelves.  She talked about cleaning a few rooms of the house.  I tried hard to hide my condition from her.  She was looking forward to returning to work tomorrow.

“Babe.” she said from the bedroom.  “Should you even be going to work tomorrow?”

“Oh.”  I replied.  “I think I got the sniffles from work.  I bet I’ll be better in the morning.  But I’ll be careful.  I’ll make sure to check my temperature in the morning.”

The painkillers started to finally kick in, but they only worked a little bit.  I was able to at least sit down without feeling like I was dying.  But every time I stood up, I could feel sharp pains in my bones and joints.

As I was lying on the couch, Speckles came by and licked my face.  I pet her and she laid down on the floor right next to the couch.

I should call the clinic.  This isn’t right.

I think I put Dr. Fry’s business card on the counter yesterday when I emptied my pockets.  I got up from the couch and made my way to the kitchen.  I dug through the pile of mail on the counter and found the business card.

I gingerly walked to a corner of the house where Kathy couldn’t hear me.  I dialed the number and left a message. “Hi, Dr. Fry.  This is Aaron, one of your participants for Trial 1350 you saw yesterday.  I’m having some weird reactions to the drug you gave me.  I really need to see you tomorrow. You can give me a call back at the number on my paperwork.”  I hung up my phone.

Hopefully that works.

I played on my phone for a little bit, but it was getting difficult to focus.  I noticed Kathy turned the lights out in the hall and our bedroom.  I decided I needed to go to sleep too.  I found a blanket in the closet and brought it over to the couch. 

Once I closed my eyes, I was out.

* * *

I tossed and turned on the couch.  I was having crazy dreams.  

One dream I remembered was Mike was flirting - with ME!  He was asking when I was going to dump Kathy.  He complimented my smile.  Shit.  Where did my mask go?  Suddenly I fell to the floor in pain.  My skin was on fire again.  Mike just stood over me asking for my number.

I woke up still in pain.  The house was dark.  I was still sweating.  I stumbled to the bathroom in the dark trying not to turn on any lights to not wake Kathy.  I slammed my hip into the door frame.  Ow.  I turned on the light but was blinded by it. I popped 3 more Advils, turned off the light and went back to the couch.  I eventually passed out again.

Chapter 3 - Anger

WEDNESDAY

I woke up on the couch to the sun glaring on my eyes.  Ug.  That was not a comfortable sleep.  I sat up and rolled my neck.  At least my body isn’t on fire anymore.

The house was quiet.  I got up and checked the bedroom and noticed Kathy had already gone to work.  I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror.  

“What the hell?.”  I said as I noticed that my hair was even longer.  It was shaggy like a surfer dude’s hair.  The roots of the hair were dark brown.  I grabbed a handful of hair and looked at it.  The tips were still my natural hair color.  Why was the new growth coming in darker?

I looked closer at my face.  It looks... smoother.  I originally had acne scars on my face.  Those were gone and replaced by smooth skin.  I lifted up my shirt and looked for my old appendectomy scar.  That was gone too.

“That drug heals old scars and grows hair?” I said out loud.  Well I guess that’s pretty cool.  I’m not sure about the new hair color though.

I looked back at the mirror and at my face. I rubbed the stubble on my face with my hand and I noticed hair was falling off my face.  I looked at my hand and saw specks of stubble all over my hand.  I looked back at the mirror and I now had a hand print of hairless skin on my face.

I did it again and hair started raining off my face and into the sink.

Ok.  Now I’m getting scared.  What was left on my face was patchy stubble. Even my side burns were rubbing off.  I can’t go to work looking like this.   I got out my razor and shaving cream and cleaned up my face.

After I washed the shaving cream off my face, I noticed my face, with the longer hair now looked very androgynous. I still think I’m recognizable though.

I turned on the shower to warm it up.  I took off my shirt.  My nipples were still tender... and now the areolas around them were larger!  My chest seems to be swollen too.  I’m going to have to mention this to Dr. Fry.

I turned my head back to the mirror and got a glance at my side profile.  I looked down at my chest again.  Nah.  It can’t be.

I looked like a flat chested woman. 

This is getting ridiculous.  Eventually people are going to notice that I look different.  I’m going to have some words with Dr. Fry.  I’m getting angrier and angrier just thinking about it.  

I took a shower and looked for any other changes.  Everything else seems to be unchanged.  I still had hair on my legs.  My dick and balls were still there.

I dried off and started getting dressed.  I pulled my boxer shorts on.  They felt really tight.  Like the elastic was digging into my hips.  I relieved the pressure by pulling the elastic band further up my waist.  They were still tight but manageable.

My shirt from yesterday is still rather clean so I put it back on until I can buy more work attire.

Ow.  My chest still hurts.  This shirt just continues to chafe my nipples.  I pulled my shirt back off.  I don’t think I can last another day like that.

I had an idea.  I went into Kathy’s dresser and pulled out one of her sports bras.  She had very bright girly colors.  I picked the least bright one - a light blue one.  I put my head and arms through it and pulled it over my puffy chest.  

Then I slid my shirt back on.

My nipples were still raw, but my shirt was no longer irritating them.  I can at least get through the day like this.

I next pulled on my pants.  I went to button them, but the button wasn’t reaching.  “Now what!”  I said angrily.

I took my pants off and turned back to the mirror.  I looked in the mirror at my hips.  I didn’t notice in the shower but they looked wider.  I held my pants up against them.  They won’t fit.

“No No No.  This is not happening!”  I said out loud.

This drug is turning my body into a woman’s body.

I’m officially freaking out right now.

I looked at the clock.  I gotta get to work.  What am I going to do?

I looked down at the sports bra I was wearing.  I guess I need to continue raiding Kathy’s dresser.

I pulled out a pair of black jeans from her dresser and pulled those on.  I was able to button them.  Thank God they fit.  I looked at myself in the mirror.  They’re skinny jeans and are very form fitting, but at least they button up.  Oh god, I can see my boxers bunched up on my thighs.  Shit!

I sat down on my bed trying to breathe.  I’m freaking out.  My body is changing.  I can’t even dress myself.  A tear rolled down my cheek.  What’s wrong with me?  Why am I crying?

I pulled the jeans back off and slammed them against the floor as the tears kept rolling. 

I screamed.

Focus.  Pull yourself together.  I can fix this.  I just have to get to the clinic and have them undo whatever it is they did.

I walked over to Kathy’s dresser and picked up a pair of blue panties.

I let out a huge sigh.  I wiped the tears from my face.  I can’t believe I’m doing this.

I slid off my boxers and slid up her panties.

The fabric actually felt good on my thighs as I pulled them up.  I must’ve folded these hundreds of times, but I never realized how soft they felt.  They made my ass look bigger.  Or maybe my ass was bigger.  I couldn’t tell at this point.

Then I pulled the jeans back up.  I looked at my legs in the mirror again.  The only imperfection was my package in the front.  My ass looked great - for a woman’s. The bottom of the pants came down just below my calf.  These are clearly women's jeans.  I wonder if anyone else will notice.

I put on socks and shoes.  My shoes felt loose.

My cell phone rang.  I didn’t recognize the number, but it was local.  I answered it. 

“Hello?”

“Aaron? This is Dr. Fry from the clinic.”  

“Oh Dr. Fry, Thank God” I said.  “I’m freaking out.  I felt like I was going to die yesterday.  My hair and nails are growing quickly.  My hips have widened.  It appears I have budding breasts.  None of my clothes fit!”

“That’s great news!”  he said.

What? Great news. “How is that great news?”  I said, fuming.  “I’m turning into a woman!”

“It’s great that the drug is working. This is exciting! You’re the first trial patient to report any effects.  You have to come in right away!”

“I have to work today.”

“Then come in after work.  I have to see you!”

“Fine.”  I said.  “You can expect me later in the afternoon”

“I look forward to it!” he said “Bye.”  Dr. Fry hung up. 

I took one last glance at the mirror.  “This is fine.”  I said.  “I can get through this.”  I pushed my hair behind my ears and walked out of my bedroom.

I was running out of time, so I grabbed my wallet and keys ran out the door and to my car.

* * *

I parked my car and I got out of it.  I tried stuffing my wallet into the back pocket of the jeans I was wearing.  They were so form fitting I could not fit my wallet in at all.  I pulled out a few bills and my ID, and left the rest of my wallet in my car.  I stuffed the money and ID in my pocket.

I walked into the grocery store and clocked in.  I found Mike to ask him what my next task was today.

“Aaron?”  Mike said looking me up and down.  “Your hair is getting kinda long.  Company policy says that long hair needs to be tied back.”

“Oh.”  I said.  “Sure.”  I stood there.

He looked at me and raised an eyebrow.  After a moment of silence, he said.  “Now.  When you’re done with that join that Brad kid in stocking the meat section.”

“Brad?”  I asked.  “You mean Ben?”

“Whatever,” he said.  “Hair ties.  Aisle 10.”

“Right.”  I said.  That guy sucks. I went to aisle 10 where hair care products were kept, and found a package of plain black hair ties.  A package of 20?  Didn't they come in smaller packages?  Oh well, I can give Kathy the extras. I then made my way to an open register.

The girl at the register was one of the teenage girls from the lunch room.  “Hi.  You’re the new person working with Ben right?”

“Yeah.” I said.  “Aaron.”  

“Nice to meet you, Erin.”  she said, scanning the hair tie package. “I’m Darcy”

Did she just call me Erin?  Should I correct her?

“$4.95”  Darcy said.

I pulled out a 5 dollar bill, handing it to her.  She gave me a nickel back which I shoved into a front pocket.

“Have a good day” I told Darcy.

I found Ben in the meat section.  “Good Morning” I said to him.

“Morning” Ben said while continuing to work.

I pulled a hair tie out and tried to tie my hair back.  I was struggling with it.

Ben looks at me for a moment.  “Need help?”

I sighed.  “Sure.”

He came over and took the tie from me.  “I’ve had long hair for about 2 years now.  Once you figure it out, it’s quite easy.”  He pulled the hair behind my head  and wrapped it into the tie.  “There.”

“Thanks Ben.”  I said.  I started unloading my cart.

Over the next hour I noticed that Ben kept looking at me.  Clearly he must notice that I look different from yesterday.  This has really started to make me feel more and more self-conscious.

“Aaron”  Ben finally said.  “Would you ever want to... Hang out after work?”

I suppose it would be nice to have a friend.  I haven’t seen any of my pre-pandemic friends in a while.  Most of them are married with kids anyway.

“Sure.”  I said.  “Right now, money’s tight. But I’m game for grabbing a few beers after work.”

“I’m - not 21 yet.”  he said.  “But yeah. Cool.  I don’t have many friends here at work. And you seem like a cool… person.  We can exchange numbers.”

“Sorry about that.” I said forgetting he just graduated.  “It’s been a crazy morning.  But yeah, we can exchange numbers.”  I pulled out my phone and we exchanged our numbers.

I continued organizing the bin full of chicken packages.

Behind me I heard a customer say  “Excuse me, Miss.”

I didn’t notice any other women in the area so I wasn’t sure who she was talking to.

“Miss?”

Wait, is she talking to me?  I turned around.

“Miss, I was wondering if you have any breasts in there?”

Wait what?  Breasts?  I turned bright red. I glanced down at my chest which didn’t seem any different from this morning.  I looked back at her. “Excuse me?”  I said confused.

“Boneless, skinless.” she added.  “The other section where they should be is empty.”

“Oh!” I said, finally understanding her.  I looked at the boxes on my cart.  I opened the box labeled “Chicken breasts” and gave her a package.

“Thank you!”  She said walking away.

Miss? Did she think I was a girl?  This day is getting worse.

* * *

At lunch time, I realized in my morning freakout I forgot to make lunch.  The good news is that I work in a grocery store.  I bought a pre-packaged cold-cut sub and a drink with the remaining cash in my jeans.

I brought my lunch to the lunch room and sat down at a table by myself.  I noticed Ben was at another table eating alone.  Should I go over and join him?

Just then I saw Darcy walk past me.  “Hi Erin.”  She continued and walked up Ben’s table.  “Hi Ben, can I sit at this table?”

“Sure.” he said.

Ben kept to himself while he ate.  Darcy took off her mask and started eating.  I noticed she kept glancing up, looking at him smiling.  Looks as if she really wanted to get his attention.  Maybe Darcy has a crush on Ben.  Watching a teen drama potentially unfold at least help me keep my mind off of my own problems.

After lunch, I continued working.  It was much easier to work now that my body wasn’t on fire.  I was still having problems reaching top shelves though.  Did I shrink too?

After my shift, I clocked out, left the store and drove to the clinic.

* * *

I walked right into the clinic and up to the receptionist.  “I’m Aaron, here to see Dr. Fry.” I said to her.

“Yes.” he’s expecting you.  “Have a seat.”

A few minutes later, a nurse opened the door and said.  “Aaron?”

“Yeah.”  I said getting up to follow her.  She escorted me into the same examination room from Monday.  

It didn’t take long for Dr. Fry to come in.

“Aaron.”  he said.  “Wow! Look at you!  This is amazing!”

“This is miserable,”  I replied.

“Let's do some tests.” he said.

He measured me, weighed me, took another mouth swab, and a blood sample.  He asked to see my chest, which oddly felt embarrassing now.  He measured my chest and my waist.  “You can put your shirt and bra back on.” 

I wanted to correct him.  My girlfriend’s bra.  Not mine.

He took all his notes with him and left the room.  

Twenty minutes later he came back.  “So Aaron,” he said.  “You’re now 5’9”.  You lost at least 3 inches of height.  You’re now 160 pounds.  You lost 40 pounds in 2 days!”

Hearing him state the obvious hurt.  I started to tear up again.  “I feel like I sweat it all out.  I really haven’t eaten much over the past few days.  I’ve been really hungry too.”  

“Well, your bones and muscles have lost a lot of mass which is contributing to it. But your body is indeed metabolizing all of the fat reserves at an incredible rate.  In addition, you have budding breasts consistent with female puberty.  I did not take your measurements on Monday, but you already told me that your hips have widened.”  He noticed I was crying.  “And your hormones are clearly all messed up.  Your body is having an extremely hard time regulating them.  They should level out though.”

Should?  I wiped the tears from my eyes.  This isn’t making me feel any better.  I want to lash out.  But I also want to cry.

“When’s the last time you dyed your hair?”

“I don’t dye my hair.”

“Interesting” he continued writing notes.  “Does dark brown hair run in your family?”

“My sister has dark brown hair.”

“Ah, good.  I figured it must’ve been a family trait.”

“How is this even possible?” I screamed. He backed up, not expecting me to yell at him.  I regained my composure and lowered my voice. “This doesn't seem like a Covid vaccine!”

“Covid vaccine?” Dr. Fry said, sounding surprised. “That’s next door.  1350 is a genetic transgender drug."  He paused for a moment.  "You said you read the forms we gave you.  This shouldn’t be a surprise.”

Shit.  I did this to myself.  Now I’m angry with myself for not really reading the forms he gave me.  Or maybe angry that I decided to get into the wrong line.  I felt another tear roll down my cheek.  I need to pull myself together.   “Well that makes sense then.”  I said trying to regain composure again.  “How… how does this even work?”

“Well, I’ve spent years working on examining how the human fetus grows body parts and limbs based on the instructions provided by our DNA.  Some of that research leads into growing new body parts in adults.   Then I’ve examined how the sex characteristics are associated with your chromosomes.  The drug itself is based on how virus’s work.  It’s going through your body modifying you at a cellular level.  We’ve also added in some compounds to encourage cellular growth too - which explains the hair growth.”

“And nails”  I said holding my hands up.

“Nice.”  Dr. Fry said, looking at them.  “Your hands are already very feminine.”

I quickly pulled my hands back and tucked them to my side.  “This doesn’t sound entirely legal.”

“Oh that doesn’t matter when the government is funding you.”

“The government is funding this?  I thought maybe this was something to help the transgender community.”

“Uh… I may have said too much.” 

“I mean, what other applications could there be?”

He didn’t say anything.

“What branch of the government?”

Again he said nothing.

“Holy Shit - Is this a weapon?”

“Shh!” he replied.  “Keep your voice down.”

“I don’t believe this!   What are you using it for?”

“I don’t ask those types of questions.  It’s best I don’t know so they keep funding me.”

“OK fine.” I said.  “I want out. I want no part in this.  I want my normal male body back.”

“We haven’t developed the inverse drug.  The government was only interested in funding male to female.”

“But you can do it… right?”

“Yeah, but that will take time to identify the right compounds that would trigger the right growth and right hormones.”

“Can you start on that?  I need to change back to myself”  I said. “This was a mistake!”

Dr. Fry sighed.   “I can see what I can do.  No promises.”

“Thank you!  How long do I have, doctor?”

“What do you mean how long do you have? You’re not dying.”

“I mean until - I’m fully a woman.”

“Well, genetically, you’re already a woman.  Your chromosomes have already changed. If you’re asking how long until your male genitalia is no more, I’d say another two maybe three days at the rate the virus is progressing.”

I put my head into my hands.  “What am I going to tell my girlfriend?”

“You didn’t tell your girlfriend you were doing this?  Geez.  I’d hate to be you.”

“Has anyone ever told you, you have an awful bedside manner?”

“I’m a geneticist, not a physician.” he replied.

“Is there anything else you need?  Want me to recommend a gynecologist?”

“No!”  I yelled.

“OK, well” Dr. Fry said standing up.  “You have my business card if you have any more questions.”

He led me out to the waiting room.  I stood there in a daze before I finally decided to go out to my car.

* * *

After I pulled into our driveway, I stood on our front porch paralysed.  What am I going to say?  What am I going to do?

Finally I summoned up the courage and I walked into the house.  I’m going to tell her the truth.

“Babe”  I said timidly.

“How was your day-” she stopped as she saw me at the door. Her eyes got wide.  “A… Aaron?”  Is that you?”

“Yes.”

“What-  What happened?  You’re so short.. Your hair!

“I screwed up.”

“What happened?  What did you do?”

“I signed up for an experimental drug trial.  Apparently I didn’t read the fine print.  It’s some form of transgender drug.  I’m turning into a woman.”

Her jaw dropped.  “Wh-  Why would you do that?”  she said.  “Are you-  trans?  Oh God, Aaron.  Why didn’t you tell me!”

“No No.  It’s not like that.  I did it for the money.”

“The money? Aaron, we don’t need money bad enough to disfigure our bodies!”

“Don’t worry.”  I said.  “I’m working with the clinic.  The doctor said he’ll try to create a drug that reverses this.”

“Are you sure?”  she said.

“Yeah”  I said smiling.  Oh shit.  She’s going to see through that lie.

“OK.” she said.  The look on her face told me she didn’t believe that.  “Well… Dinner’s ready.”

We ate dinner in silence.  I could tell she was upset with me.

“So let me get this straight.” she said.  “You took a shot without knowing what it did?”

“I know.” I said.  “I made an impulsive decision.  Like the time I ordered, toilet paper from Amazon without checking to see how many were in the shipment- I thought I was ordering 12 roles and we accidentally got 12 bulk packages of toilet paper.”  I forced a chuckle.

She wasn’t laughing.  “This is nothing like that!” she said.

I really had nothing else to say.  I know I fucked up.

My hand was shaking.  I accidently dropped pizza sauce on my lap.  “Crap”  I said, out loud.  I grabbed a paper towel and tried to rub it off, only to smear it into my jeans- I mean Kathy’s jeans.  The only jeans that fit me, in fact.  I’ll deal with that tomorrow.

After dinner, we were both sitting on the couch watching TV.   I sat closer to her and held her hand.

“Babe, I’m still your boyfriend.  I still love you. You can trust me.” 

“I know.” she said.  “I’m just scared.  This changes everything.”

“It changes nothing.”  I said.  “I’m still me.  Please trust me.”

She looked into my eyes and nodded.

I leaned into her, caressed her cheek and kissed her.

She closed her eyes and returned my kisses. 

“I love you so much.”  I told her.  “You know, If anything, this drug has increased my sex drive.”

“Oh?” she said.

I led her to our bedroom.  I was intent on trying to take her mind off of this.  I focused on making her feel good.

We started peeling each other's clothes off. 

“Is that-” she said.  “My sports bra?”

“Yeah”  I said, pulling it off and tossing it aside.

“Are those my jeans?” she said.

“Don’t worry about it.  I needed to think fast this morning.  Next time I’ll ask or get you to help me.”

I pulled off the jeans - and panties together so she didn’t see her panties on me.

I crawled back onto the bed and laid on top of her and continued kissing her.

Her hand explored my chest and stopped at my nipples.  She seemed curious as she slowly caressed my chest and moved her finger around my nipples.  That’s when she rubbed them with her fingers.

I suddenly gasped.  Oh God that felt good.  They were no longer raw, but they were very sensitive.

“Did that feel good?” she asked.

“Yeah. it did.”

“This is too weird.”  she said.

“Just- focus on me.”  I said kissing her neck.

After a little bit of foreplay I was ready.  I put a condom on my dick and slowly slid it into her, but my dick wasn't hard as it should be.  This was not deterring me from having sex with my girlfriend.

I rocked my hips back and forth as my penis went in and out.  But I felt like I was getting softer and it was harder to maintain an erection.  Quick, think sexy thoughts.  It wasn’t working. 

My penis fell out of her.

I turned red in embarrassment.  I tried stroking myself to get hard again.  It got a little harder.  I put it back in and started thrusting again.

The look on her face… was not pleasure.  It was a look of concern.

“Babe stop.” she said.  “It’s not going to happen this time.”

I pulled out and I rolled over.  I tossed the empty used condom to the side. I had tears in my eyes.  I was so embarrassed.

She put her hand on my shoulder.  I immediately got up and moved myself out of the room and to the couch.  I was crying.  I never had this problem before.  I never had performance anxiety before.  Was this the start of the drug affecting my penis?

When I laid down on the couch and finally calmed myself down, I could hear Kathy from down the hall.  She too was crying.

Chapter 4 - Bargaining

THURSDAY

I woke up scrunched on the couch for the second morning in a row.  My neck and back are killing me.  I opened my eyes and saw Kathy sitting cross-legged on the floor looking at me. Watching me.  Petting Speckles.

“Babe?” I said, still groggy.  “What are you doing?”

“I’m watching you sleep.” she said.  “You looked so cute and peaceful.”

“Cute?”

“Yeah, your face is much more feminine.” she said.  “I’ve been watching you breathe.  The way your… breasts... are going up and down.”

I sat up and I looked at my chest and realized I have real breasts now.  No more puffy nipples.  These are the real deal.  I rubbed my eyes and then cupped them.  They felt so soft.  This is crazy.

“May I?” she asked, holding her hands out.

“I… I guess.”  I said.  Kathy’s my girlfriend after all.  She can certainly grope my... breasts.

She cupped my breasts and tested their weight.  “This is amazing.” she said.  “They feel real.  I’d say about a B cup right now.”

I turned red.  I didn’t know what to say.  ”I need help.  I don’t know what I’m doing.  If I’m going to pull this off, I need help.”

“OK,” she said, standing up.  “Let’s get you an outfit for work.”

I got up from the couch.  I realized I was still naked after storming out of our bedroom after sex.  I kept the blanket draped around me.  We both walked to the bedroom.  I was now very aware of the weight of my modest boobs on my chest.

She opened one of her dresser drawers and shoved her hand in the back.  She pulled out a tan bra and looked at the size.  “Try this on.” she said.  “I have some older C cups in the back of my drawers.”

“Wait.” I said. “I want to wear MY clothes.  I was hoping you can help me cover all of this up so I look like myself again.  You know.. Compression bandages, masculine make-up, maybe lifts.”

“Yeah, no.” she said. “I don’t own a professional makeup studio here.  You look like a woman now.  There’s no covering this up.  It will be far easier to dress like one than to try hiding it.”

“What about work?  I’m really trying to regain control of this situation.”

She sighed.  “At some point you have to start telling the truth.  Hopefully they have a gender non descrimation policy.  Or something that protects transgender people.”

“But I’m not trans!”

“Babe.  Seriously.  The more you fight this, the harder it will be.”

“But I still identify as a man!”

“Well the world is going to see a trans-woman. Tomorrow they might see a cis-woman. What are you going to tell them?  That your stupid ass decided to transition into a woman for the money?”

I didn’t want to start an argument, so I let it go.  I don’t want to be a woman.  I don’t want to be trans.  I really just wanted to hide myself.  Hide my body until I can fix this.

She placed the bra on the bed.  She then pulled a women's cut polo shirt out of her closet and laid it next to the bra.  “This should be acceptable for your work uniform.”  Then she laid a pair of leggings next to it.

“I can’t wear that.”  

“Well you got my black pants dirty yesterday.  You have no choice.”

I groaned.

“Shower.”  she said.  “Use my shampoo, conditioner and body wash”

I groaned again.

Before I got into the shower, I looked in the mirror to see what Kathy was seeing. I looked like a woman.  My hair was now shoulder length and mostly dark brown except for the tips.  I clearly had defined breasts.  My torso with wider hips had the hint of an hourglass figure.  The fat that used to be around my gut seems to have shrunk or moved... elsewhere.  My face... My face looked like my sister’s face.  It was softer and lacked any masculine features.

The only thing that remotely looked like myself? My body hair. Legs, armpits, patches of chest hair just above my breasts.  I also still had hair on my stomach trailing down to my pubic area.

I got into the shower and did what Kathy had asked and used her shampoo and conditioner.  I used the body wash and cleaned everywhere. Except the place I saved for last. My chest.

I layered up some soap in my hands and started cleaning my breasts.  They were definitely sensitive.  It actually felt good.  My penis twitched from those sensations.  I noticed that it started to get hard.

I tried to focus on the task at hand and put those thoughts out of my head.  Maybe I could play with them later tonight.  After all, I’m a dude.  Dude’s play with breasts.  I just happen to have my own pair.  That’s not weird right?  I started to get harder.  Stop. Focus.

After I was done I turned off the water and left the shower.  I grabbed a towel and dried off.  I looked at the mirror embarrassed at the loss of my masculinity.  Just a few minutes ago I was excited about it.  Now I’m embarrassed. I’m so confused.  I wrapped the towel around my chest to hide my shame.  Kathy and Speckles were sitting on the bed waiting for me.  

Kathy first handed me a pair of purple panties.  I pulled those on.  I blushed.  This was embarrassing.

She then handed me the bra.   I held it in my hand unsure what she wanted me to do.

She saw my reluctance.  “You were wearing my sports bra, and jeans yesterday, no problem.”

I sighed.  I then used one hand and pushed the cups up to my boobs as the other hand tried to wrap the hand around my back.

She laughed.  “This is too funny.  Keep going.”

“Come on babe.” I said.  “I’m struggling here.  I’ve only ever removed bras.”

“OK” she said.  “Put the bra backwards so you can see the clasp.  Hook them together.  Rotate the bra, put your boobs in the cups then pull the straps over your shoulders.  Adjust.”

I did as she said.  It was much easier.  My new boobs didn’t fill the cups completely.  “It’s too big.” I said.

“No one will notice since you’ll be wearing a shirt that doesn’t show off your cleavage.

My cleavage?

I pulled on the leggings.  Kathy helped adjust them since I had them bunched up every which way.

“Are you enjoying this?”  I asked

“I find it just a little amusing.” she replied.

She handed me the shirt.  At least a shirt is a shirt so that wasn’t so bad.  The sleeves were higher than I’m used to and the torso was more form fitting.

I asked Kathy to tie my hair into a ponytail.  I told myself I’d get a haircut later tonight.  I just wonder if it was too late.  Would a hair cut even make me look more masculine at this point?

“Listen Aaron.” Kathy said, looking at me.  Her eyes were watery.  She placed her hands on my shoulders.  “When you come home tonight, I won’t be here.  I’m going to stay with my parents for a bit.”

“But why?”  I asked.

“I just - I just need time.”

I feel like I’ve just been punched in the gut.

“But babe-”

“Please Aaron, don’t make this any harder than it needs to be.  Please respect my desire for time to work this out on my own.  I stayed long enough to help you this morning.  I just need time to myself.”

“Ok.”  I said.  My eyes were watering too.  

I walked out to the kitchen and Speckles followed me.  Kathy didn’t.

I took care of the dog’s breakfast and made myself lunch.  

I’m losing control of my life.  It’s spiraling out of control.  I needed help.  I needed help from a woman right now.  I really wanted that help to come from Kathy.  Maybe it will later, but right now she needs her space.

If this was 10 years ago, I’d just call up my sister, Emily.  There were many times I’d call her about relationship advice and we’d just talk for hours and have an honest conversation.  She was the first family member who I introduced Kathy to.  She never sugar coated anything and always gave me honest answers and advice.  I could really use that right about now.

I opened the door to leave the house.  “Kathy, I’m leaving.”  It hurt to say that knowing that she won’t be here to greet me tonight.  I really hope this isn’t the last goodbye.  I wiped a tear from my cheek, and I left the house.

I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to call Emily now.  What do I tell her?  That I’ve been changing into a woman for the past 3 days?  That’s crazy.  My situation is right out of a science fiction story. Maybe i’ll just give her the abridged version.

I sat down in my car, I picked up my cell phone and dialed Emily.  I hadn’t talked to Emily in months.  We certainly haven’t seen each other since before the pandemic.  She’s got her own family now to worry about.

She answered on the 2nd ring.  “Hi Aaron, what’s up?”

“Em, I need help.”

“What’s going on?”

“It’s a long story, but right now.. I’ve been..”  I was looking for the right words to use.  Maybe I should just stick to the story Kathy advised me to use.  “Transitioning...”

“Transitioning?  Transitioning to what?  A new house?  A new job?”

“Into a woman.” I said meekly.

She was silent for a moment.  “Into a woman?” she said in a surprised tone.  “Aaron, You’re trans and you didn’t tell us?  How long have you known?”

“It’s a longer story than that.”  I replied.  “I really need a woman’s help and advice right now.  I was wondering if maybe I could just sit and talk with you this evening.  I’m trying to get a handle on my life, and you’ve always been there for me when we were younger.”

“Absolutely” she said. “If my... sister needs my help, I’ll be there.”

Hearing Emily refer to me as her sister felt weird.  “Oh no - you don’t need to physically come here.”

“I’m coming Aaron.  I can get away this weekend.  Expect me Saturday.”

“Thank you Em.”

I didn’t want to interrupt her life, but hearing her say that she’ll be here in a few days made me feel better.

* * *

I walked into the grocery store and got straight to work.  I wanted to make sure I got as little interaction with my coworkers as possible.  Especially those workers who I was introduced to on Tuesday when I still looked like a man.

I wasn’t able to avoid Ben, who to his credit seemed genuinely happy to see me, regardless how I looked.

Mike pulled me over to the side at one point in the morning.

“Aaron, is there something you’d like to tell me?”

Not really.  “No.  I’m almost done with this section.  About to go for another cart.”  I said, pretending as if nothing was wrong.

“Well, you look like…”  I could see his gaze drift to my chest.  I didn’t like this guy before.  I certainly don’t like him now.  But he’s my boss.

“What do I look like, Mike?”  Come on, give me a reason to call you out.

“It’s nothing.”  he said.

Good.  Confrontation avoided.  My heart was beating fast.  I didn’t know what I was going to do there.

The rest of the morning went by without any more incidents.  At lunch time I walked into the lunch room with my sandwich.  Darcy saw me and waved me over.  She was chatting with some of the employees at the other table.

“Everyone, have you met Erin?” she said to the group at the table.  “She started Tuesday.”

Oh no.  She called me Erin again.  She called me “she.” 

“Hi Erin.” came a few greetings from the table.

I turned red.  No.  This is NOT how you get control of this situation.  Now everyone here thinks I’m a woman named Erin.  Do I correct them?

“Thanks for the warm welcome.”  I said in a higher octave.  Oh my god, I can’t believe I’m playing along with this.  I’m so embarrassed.

Clearly Darcy noticed my embarrassment.  She pulled me aside.  “I’m so sorry.  Did I embarrass you?”

“I’m just used to staying to myself.”  I replied to her.

“I’m so sorry.  I understand.” she said.  “If there's anything I can do, let me know.”

“Thanks Darcy.”

I found an empty table.  I was about to eat my sandwich when Ben came and sat next to me.  “Can I sit here?”  

“Sure.”  I said.  I really just wanted to be by myself.

“I noticed that you look a little down today.” he said.

“Yeah. It’s been a rough week.  Lots of... um… changes.  My girlfriend might be breaking up with me.  My world’s a mess.”

“Hang in there.”  he said.  “I want to let you know that what you’re doing is so cool.”  He then lowered his voice to a whisper.  “I envy you.”

That took me by surprise.  I scooted a little closer so I could whisper back.  “You envy me?”

“Yes.” he said.   “It’s so brave to transition like you’re doing.  You’re doing it with so much confidence.”

Ug.  Another person thinking I’m transitioning.

“I wish I had that kind of courage to do it myself.” he added.

I let those words sit for a second.  “Ben.” I asked.  “You’re trans?”

He smiled. “You’re the first person I’ve told - in real life.  I’m in a whole bunch of online support groups, but I haven't come out yet to anyone I know.”

I was speechless.  I barely know Ben, and he just shared something very personal with me.

“So when you wanted to hang out...”.

He laughed.  “I really wanted a friend.  Maybe someone I could have a um… girls night with.  I really need a friend where I can just be… myself.  I thought maybe I could be myself with someone who was just like me.  Like you.”

“Ben I’m not much of a girl.  I’m not sure how much I can help.  I’m struggling as is.  I’m a complete disaster.”

“Oh. I’m sorry for intruding then.”  he said looking disappointed.

“No no, Ben”  I replied.  “I mean.  I’m very new at this. I do need help.”  Sure, I didn’t know what I was doing, but surrounding myself with people who did sounded like a decent plan.  “I could use a friend too.  You suggested we hang out.  How about tomorrow?”

“I’d like that.”  Ben said smiling.

* * *

When I left work, I sat in my car.  I need to get control of my life. Slowly everyone around me is believing I'm either a woman or a transwoman.   Maybe Dr. Fry has made some progress.

I picked up my phone, scrolled through my recent calls and called Dr. Fry. 

There was no ringing.  Just a message. “This number has been disconnected.”

What?  Disconnected?  Should I drive straight to his office and give him a piece of my mind?

I need to get control. Wait, I can control my hair.  So I drove straight to a salon to get my hair cut.  

After a COVID19 waiver and a temperature check, I was able to sit down. 

I stared at the mirror and saw a woman with a ponytail now past her shoulders.  I suddenly felt anxious.  Is this what I wanted to do?  Cut my hair back to the way it was?  I pulled the hair tie out and let my hair fall down.   I ran my finger through my hair to see what it looked like, down.   I look cute.  The girl in the mirror I mean.  Not me.  There was a part of me anxious to see how I would eventually turn out when this process was done.  The other half of me just wanted to cut it all off.

“What can I do for you?” the stylist said. “Wow, you have very thick and healthy hair” she said running her fingers through it. 

“I uh…”  I wanted to tell her to cut it all off.  I couldn’t push the words out of my mouth. “Just a clean up”  I heard myself say.

 “I see you could use some coloring.  Do you want to go back to your natural hair color?”

“Yes” I said, not realizing that she meant the dark brown roots.

“I can clean this up and add some layering.  It looks like you haven’t gotten a haircut in a long time.”

“Yeah”  I said.  “It’s been a while.”

I couldn’t bring myself to getting it all cut off.  I couldn’t do it.  The one thing I can control.  The one thing that could bring me closer back to Aaron, and I couldn’t do it.   I was letting her give me a woman's haircut.

She dyed my hair a shade similar to the new color that was coming in.  She trimmed my hair back to shoulder length again. 

When I turned back to the mirror I didn’t even recognize myself anymore.  The hair looked good.  I look like Emily’s sister.

* * *

When I got home.  The house was quiet.  Speckles was sitting on the couch eagerly awaiting dinner.

After I fed Speckles and myself I sat down on the couch.  

I pulled out my phone and texted Kathy. “Hey babe.  I was thinking of you.  I just wanted to let you know that I still love you.  I’m still the same person you fell in love with.”

I wanted to watch TV.  But I just wasn’t in the mood.  I was feeling an incredible pain in my groin.  It felt like blue balls.  Now granted, I haven’t had sexual release since Monday night, but I haven’t felt this way since I was a teenager.

Maybe I just need to rub one out.  I found a box of tissues and sat back down on the couch.

I slouched over and unzipped my pants.  I pulled out my dick.  It was looking thinner.  

I started stroking it, but it wasn’t getting hard.  I licked my fingers and played with the head.  That felt nice and my penis throbbed a little, but It wasn’t hard enough.

I looked down at my chest, and I felt a twitch of my penis.  That’s right, I’ve got my own breasts to look at!  

I pulled off my shirt and looked down at my cleavage, that got my penis’s attention. 

After a few minutes of stroking I realized I was having the same problem as last night.  I unstrapped my bra - I mean Kathy’s bra -  and pulled it off.  

I stroked while looking at my own breasts.  I still wasn’t able to get the release I desired.

I cupped my breast and rubbed one of my nipples, and suddenly my penis got rock hard.

I gasp.  “Oh shit. That’s it.”

I started rubbing my nipple as I jerked off.  It was nice.  It felt good, but I wasn’t near release yet.  In fact it was starting to hurt.

I reached down to my scrotum.  It felt like it was crushing my nuts.

Oh God - it was a mixture of pleasure and pain.  I feel like I’m just making it worse.  I just need release. I can’t stop.

I continued playing with my tits while stroking my penis.  Harder faster.  I wet my fingers as I pinched my nipples.

Oh God It’s coming.  Oh no it hurts so bad, yet it feels so good. Faster.  Faster.  It felt like my ball sack was crushing my balls.

I started to scream “Oh God!”  I heard my voice crack.

Faster.  Almost there. I felt something pop and fill my abdomen.  Was that my balls?  Faster.  As I climaxed, I heard a feminine scream.  Was that me?  Suddenly I had the largest ejaculation ever into my hand.

I slid off the couch  and onto the floor out of breath.  Still in mild pain.  

When I got my bearing I reached down for my dick and realized my scrotum was gone.  I ran to the mirror to look.  Just under my penis was a very contracted and empty scrotum.  

“Shit.  They’re gone.”  I said in a higher octave.  Wait.  That wasn’t my voice.  I looked at my neck.  My Adam's apple was gone too.  

“Oh fuck!” I said in a cute voice.

Chapter 5 - Depression

FRIDAY

I woke up in my own bed this morning.  Alone.

I sat up in bed and just stared off into space.  I no longer feel like myself.  After watching my manhood disappear last night, I’m still in a state of shock, I’m finding it hard to get out of bed.

That was until I had to pee.  Sometimes nature gives you the necessary motivation to get out of bed.  I slowly walked to the bathroom.  I pulled down my panties and pulled out my dick.. it was the size of my pinky finger now.  I stood there and aimed for the toilet.

I didn’t hear anything.  I then felt a warm trickle traveling down my leg.

I looked down and saw myself standing in a puddle of pee.

And it was still coming.  I was still peeing. I couldn’t stop. I put my hand under my tiny dick and felt an opening just below it.  I still couldn’t stop the trickle. I didn’t know what muscles to use to stop it. I turned around and quickly sat down just in time for it to stop on its own when my bladder was finally empty.

I was in a state of shock.  I wasn’t fully awake when I came into the bathroom, but I was certainly awake now.  I inspected my new opening.  Sure enough.. It looked like a mini vagina.  there was no longer an opening on the tip of my penis.

I grabbed a wad of toilet paper, wiped my new vagina and my leg.  I discarded the wet panties from my ankles.  I got up to get some paper towels to clean up the mess I just made.

When I was done cleaning up my mess, I sat down on the cold bathroom floor and cried.

* * *

It took everything in my power to pull myself off that floor and pick out my clothes for today.  I opened Kathy’s underwear drawer. I was going to wear yesterday's outfit with new panties and socks.

I’m going to need more clothes.  The thought of going shopping for womens clothes made me more depressed.  I don’t have the money to buy a whole new wardrobe.  At least I’ll get another $1000 from the clinic later today.

I looked in the mirror. My hair grew more overnight.  It now came down past my shoulders again.  At least it was still layered and a consistent color.

I managed to take a shower.  I used Kathy’s shampoo and wash again.  I liked the smell.  It reminded me of Kathy.

I inspected myself again.  My thighs are bigger. I think my ass has gotten bigger as well.  If I wasn’t so sad, I might’ve actually thought it looked cute.

I got out of the shower and saw Speckles sitting on the bed watching me.  Wagging her tail.  I knelt down to pet her and she licked my face.  I don’t know why, but it was comforting for someone to be there for me.  Even though that someone was a dog.

I got dressed and walked out to the kitchen.  I went to grab a coffee mug from a cabinet when I realized I was struggling to stretch to get it.

I wonder how tall I am now - or rather how short.  I opened our junk drawer and pulled out a pencil and a measuring tape.  I walked over to the door jamb and put my back against it. I made a mark at the top of my head. I stretched the tape measure from the floor to my mark. 5'7". I shrunk again.   Kathy’s 5’7”.

I grabbed a hair tie and tried to put my hair up.  After struggling for a minute, I pulled a YouTube video up on my phone on how to tie hair ties.  Three minutes later I got it by myself.  Small accomplishments.

I ate breakfast, fed and let out Speckles, made lunch and walked out the door.

* * *

I saw Ben when I arrived at work.  He smiled.

“Aaron you look so good.” he said.

“I dunno, Ben.”  I replied.  “I’m in a funk.  This whole thing has really taken a toll on me.”  Arg.  This was the first time I’ve spoken all morning.  My new voice just doesn’t sound right in my head.

“Listen, If you need someone to talk to.  You can talk to me.”

I cleared my throat and tried to lower the timbre of my voice.  “Thanks Ben.” Lowering my voice sounded nothing like my old voice.  I forced a smile behind my mask.   “I just need to get through this day so I can go home and cry.”

Ben moved closer and brought his voice down to a whisper.  “You don’t have to change your voice around me.  Tonight.  Just us girls.  We can cheer each other up.”

“We’ll see.”  I said letting my voice return to its feminine octave.  “Depends on how I feel.”

We both got back to work.  When I was stocking fruit, the assistant manager, an older woman who I only briefly met, came up to me.  “Erin, we need some help with bagging.”

“Sure.” I said, joining her in walking to the checkout lanes.  I decided to not even worry about everyone calling me Erin.  I look like an Erin.  Speaking of… She led me over to checkout and had me bag groceries for Darcy’s lane.  

“Hi Erin!” she said.

“Hi Darcy.” I replied.

A few minutes of bagging groceries went by.  When a customer was busy loading stuff onto the belt Darcy turned to me.  “How’s Ben doing?”

“Ben?” I asked.  “He’s great.  He’s one of the nicest people I’ve met here.”

I could tell she was smiling behind her mask.  It also looked like she was blushing.

“I’ve been trying to get him to open up.  He seems to keep to himself.”

“Are you - interested in him?”

“Kinda.  He’s really cute.  We went to the same high school and graduated together.  But we’ve never really crossed paths until here at work.”

I don’t know enough about Ben to know whether he’d be attracted to Darcy or not.  Or a bigger problem.  What would Darcy say if she knew Ben was trans.  Well, I figured I'd roll with it and see if they both could figure that out.  “I could- um- put in a good word for you- or at least drop some hints”

She blushed again.  “Thanks.”

When the lines at the checkout aisles died down, the assistant manager had me go back to stocking.

When I saw Ben again I said.  “Ben, what do you think of Darcy?”

“She’s too young for you.”  He said, decisively.

Whoa.  That sounded kinda defensive.  But that was a good sign, I suppose.

I laughed.  “Not for me.  For you.”

“Oh.” he turned red.  “I like her.  But I can’t.”

“I see.  I saw her looking at you yesterday at lunch time.  I think she digs you.”

He was silent for a few minutes, but spoke up.  “I want to.  But I’m afraid of what she'd say if she knew the truth.”

“If she knew you were trans?”  I whispered.

“Yeah. What if she’s only interested in me as Ben?”

I didn’t say anything.  I understood completely.  I was having the same problem.  Was Kathy only interested in me as Aaron?  For a moment, getting in the middle of this matchmaking session was taking my mind off my depression.  But this reminded me of it.  And it hurt again.  

An hour later I was on my way to pick up another cart of produce when I ran into Darcy.

“Hey Erin, did you talk to Ben?”

“Oh hey Darcy. I um..”  How do I ask this?  “You wouldn’t happen to be into women would you?”

The question took her by surprise.  She chuckled.  “Sorry Erin, you’re kinda old for me.”

I chuckled.  These two are meant for each other.   “Not me!”  I regained my composure.  “Let's say If I had a friend - your age - and... she…  was interested in you.”

She looked at me for a second.  I could tell the gears in her head were moving.  Then she smiled. Her eyes got wide.   “I knew it!”

“Shh.” I tried to lower her voice.  Oh shit.  I gave away too much.  Ben is going to kill me for outing him.

“That’s perfect then.” she said.

Perfect?  “Um - how so?” 

She lowered her voice and got closer.  “I’m omni”

Om what?  I’m confused.  Was that English?   “What’s omni?”

“Omnisexual.” she whispered  “I’m attracted to all genders, male, female, trans, non-binary.  If we’re talking about the same person... I kinda sensed that… she... might not be cis.”

Holy Shit.  What are the odds?  “How’d you know?”

“Some days- she experiments with her work uniform… just like you’ve been doing, Erin.  Women's pants here, women's cut shirts there.  Sometimes she wears her ponytail a little higher than a guy would do.  It’s really cute...  She’s really cute.”

I couldn’t help but smile at hearing Darcy talk about Ben like that. Reminded me when I first met Kathy.  So, now to arrange something.  “So. Um.  My friend he- she is really timid.  It might take some time to arrange a meeting.”

“Ok.  Let’s all take our time then.  I really want to meet this friend of yours.  Why don’t we exchange numbers?  When your friend is ready, we’ll meet.” 

“Sounds good.”  We exchanged numbers into our phones.  Now I need to find a way to get Ben to agree to a date.  Maybe I can bring it up when we hang out later today.  Hmm.  Am I actually considering having this “girls night out” that he suggested?

This whole back and forth with Ben and Darcy actually warmed my heart.  It made me hopeful.  Maybe there’s still hope for me and Kathy if I don’t change back.  But as far as I know, Kathy is straight.  She’s never hinted to me that she could be anything else though.  

* * *

I walked by the assistant manager on my way back to produce.  “Erin, my shift is over now, but  a glass bottle of milk shattered on aisle 15, can you clean that up?  The mop is in the back.”

“Sure thing”  I told her.

“Have a good afternoon” she said walking away.

I went to the back, found the mop and bucket and wheeled it to aisle 15.  I put out the “Caution wet floor” sign.

A female customer came by and apologized to me. “I’m sorry.  It was my fault.  I’m such a clutz.” 

“It’s OK,”  I said to her.  “Accidents happen.”

She walked away from me further down the aisle.  I looked down at the puddle of milk dotted with large shards of glass.

I bent over, picked up a large shard of glass and threw it into the trash.  I picked up another when I felt a hand caress my ass.  I became instantly aware of how thin of material leggings actually were. My eyes went wide as I stood up to face the person groping me.  

It was Mike.  

“What do you think you’re doing?”  I said, angrily.

His jaw dropped when he recognized me.  “Aa.. Aaron” he said.  

“Did you really just grope my ass?”  I said angrily.

“It was a mistake.  I thought you were…”

“Even if I was… that gives you no right.”

“I saw it!”  The customer from earlier said.  “That’s sexual harassment.”

“No no.” Mike said.  “That’s not what happened.  I was helping him.”

“Bullshit.”  I said.  “I’ve seen the way you’ve been ogling the female employees here.”

“Well, who are you going to tell?” he said.  “I’m the manager here.”

“You know what?” I said pulling off the apron I was wearing.  I threw it at him.  “It’s not worth it.  I quit.”

I stormed down the aisle to where I clock out.  I clocked out and  I threw down all of my store Identification.  Ben saw me.

“Aaron. What happened?”

“That piece of shit actually groped me.  I quit.”

Ben looked shocked.  “But-”

“I’m sorry Ben.  This place isn’t right.  You should really start looking elsewhere too.  I wouldn’t work for that creep.”

I kept walking without letting Ben get any more words in.  I stormed out of the store and to my car.

I sat in the car and cried. 

A few texts came through on my phone.  

Darcy said.  “OMG.  Erin, I heard what happened.  If you want to talk about it, let me know!”

Ben said. “Aaron, A few of us are bringing up Mike’s harassment of you to his boss.  We’ll let you know how that goes.”

I texted both of them back to thank them for their concern.

* * *

When I was a little more clear headed, I decided I needed to talk to Dr. Fry again.  To see if he’s developed the reverse drug yet  Or to see if he’s made progress. Or at least collect the other half of my money.

I called the number.  I got the same disconnected message.  What gives?

I then drove there.  I was due to pick up the remainder of my money today anyway.

Upon driving up to the clinic, I saw a fire truck parked in the parking lot,  Then I glanced over and noticed the building was... gone.  

GONE.  In its place was a smoldering wreckage surrounded by caution tape.

My jaw dropped.  I got out of the car and a fireman stopped me.  “Miss, can I help you?”

“What happened?”  I asked.  Not believing my eyes.

“This building caught on fire yesterday morning.”

“Yesterday morning?”

I fell to my knees just looking at the smoldering wreckage.  Nothing was left.  

“Was anyone in there?”  I asked.

“I’m sorry ma’am.  I don’t know all of the information.  I’m just here to keep out trespassers and make sure the fire stays out.”

It’s all gone.  Any chance I had at changing back.  The remaining $1000 they owe me too!

All of it was too much.  Kathy leaving me.  Changing genders. Mike groping me. Quitting my only job. Now this.  I cried right there in the parking lot with a confused fireman watching me asking me if I needed any help.

Chapter 6 - Acceptance

When I got home, I was still in an utter state of shock.  

I opened up my computer and started doing some research for Dr. Fry.  Nothing on the web.  Nothing on facebook.  Nothing about the clinic.  I couldn’t find anything.  It’s as if the guy and clinic never existed.  A bad feeling started to grow in me.

This got me worried.  Dr. Fry admitted to me that he was working for the government.  What happened?  Did someone get to him?  Will they come for me too?  Was this all in my imagination?

All morning, depression gripped me from losing my manhood.  Now I’m afraid for my life.  The good news is that if I needed to run, I could hide behind my new identity.  Would these people be looking for an Aaron?  

I got up and walked into the kitchen, walking by the height measurement I made this morning.  Grabbing the pencil from the counter, I drew another mark.  There was no huge difference between now and this morning.  Maybe this is slowing down.

I peeked into my pants.  My penis was even smaller.  I didn’t examine it any further.  I was too afraid to look at it.  Do I even call it a penis anymore?

My phone rang.  It was Ben.  I answered it.  “Hello?”

“Aaron.” he said. “I’m done with my shift.  I’m calling to see how you’re doing.”

“Not great Ben.  It’s been an awful day.”

“You shouldn’t be alone.  Can I come over?”

I sighed.  I guess I could use a friend.  “Yeah, sure.”

“Great. Text me your address.”

* * *

Ben came over, Speckles greeted him by jumping on him, trying to lick his face through his mask.

“So I think Mike is going to be fired.”  Ben said.  “It’s about time too.”

“That’s good.”  I said, forcing a smile. “You can take your mask off in my house.  We’ve been working together for a week now.”

Ben took his mask off.  “Everyone is singing your praises.  We all make such shitty money that everyone is afraid to lose their job.  You stood up to him.  I heard a rumor that the owner may call you offering your job back.  Most likely to avoid a lawsuit or something like that.”

“I’m not sure I want it back.  Can I get you anything, Ben?” 

“I’m good for now.”  he said.

 I sat down on the couch.  I motioned for him to join me.

“You deserve to hear the truth about me.”  I said.

He sat down and listened.

“On Monday morning I was your average cis male.  I identified as a male.  Not a single thought about ever being trans.  My girlfriend was about to dump me.  I was in desperate need of money.  I signed up for a drug trial without knowing what it would do.  Yeah, they gave me forms that told me.  But I didn’t understand it, so I didn't read it..  Starting Monday, I started to transform into a woman.”  I took a deep breath.  “I’m not really trans.   At least not in the way you are.  I’ve been physically transformed at the genetic level.. Or at least that’s what that crazy doctor told me.  On top of all of that...  my girlfriend... the whole reason I needed a job and money, moved out when I started growing breasts.”

He looked at me blinking for a moment.  “Wow.  Sorry about your girlfriend.”  He reached over and squeezed my hand.  It made me feel not so alone anymore.  “So um… “ he said with a smile.  “Where can I get some of that drug?”  He laughed.

I laughed too.  Thankfully he was trying to lighten the mood.

“Here’s the kicker.” I said.  “I asked them to create a drug to change me back.  Then the damn place burned down.”  I started laughing.  I don’t know why.  It wasn’t really funny.  But I couldn’t stop laughing.  I felt a tear.  Was I laughing or crying?  Was I doing both?  “The fucking place burned down.  Can you believe that?”

The laugher seemed infectious, so Ben started chuckling.  “So - a cis male signed up for an experiement drug that changed him into a woman?  That shit doesn’t happen in real life.”

“It does.  And it happened to me.  Of all people.”  Our laughter seemed to have calmed down.

“Are you done?  Transforming that is?”

I calmed myself.  “I don’t know.  I think I’m close to the end.  I haven’t shrunk since this morning.  I have a vagina with a very large clit.  So... I’m not the transwoman you think I am”  I put my head down.

“Well.. you were born a man.  You transformed into a woman.  So I guess you’re trans now.”

I laughed.  “But I identify as a man.  And I’m genetically a woman now.  Doesn’t that make me a trans man?”

He laughed.  “Yeah, don’t hurt yourself trying to find the right label.  You are who you are.”

I shrugged.  “So now I’m in over my head.  I don’t know how to be a woman.  I’ve been wearing my girlfriends clothes all week.  I feel weird about it.  I think I should go buy my own clothes if I’m stuck like this.”

“Right now it seems we’re both in the same boat.” Ben said.  “We were both assigned male at birth.  Regardless of our unique situations, we’re both learning how to be women. I say we go to the store to get you clothes.”  he said. “We can learn together.”

I smiled.  “OK then.  Let’s do it.”  We both stood up “I can drive.”  I said, grabbing my keys as we both left the house.

Ben grabbed a backpack out of his car and brought it with him to my car.

As I pulled out onto the street I saw a black van just sitting there.  I didn’t recognize it.  Nah, I’m thinking too much into this.

We drove to the nearest town center.  Restaurants and clothing shops, and boutiques.  I’d come here to eat a few times with Kathy, but I usually avoided shopping here.

I stood at a crosswalk, looking at the directory of the town center when I noticed Ben wistfully staring at the makeup store.

There was a sign in the window.  “Free 20 minute makeover.”

I could see the longing in Ben’s eyes as he stared at the sign.  I had an idea.  Something crazy.  Something I would have never done by myself.  But since I’m with Ben, and he clearly wants to do it, we should take this leap together.  “Have you ever gotten a makeover before?”  I asked.

“Never” he replied.

“Neither have I.” 

“Let's do it then.”  I said walking towards the store.

“Wait.  I can’t.”

“Why not? We’ll do it together.”

“I’ve never done this outside of my house.”  he said timidly.  “What will they say when a man comes walking in?”

“I’m sure we aren’t the first trans women to walk in there.  We’ll do it together.” 

“Says the guy who looks like a cis woman.”

“Then as long as you’re with me, it’s not weird.”

We walked into the makeup store and we stopped at the receptionist.  “Hi.  We’d like the 20 minute makeover.  This is my friend.  She would like one too.”

Ben blushed and moved behind me to hide.

The receptionist smiled.  “Do you have an appointment?”

Oh crap.  Really?  “No we don’t” I said a little disappointed.

“One moment” she said walking to the back.  She came back 30 seconds later. “We can take you both right now.”

We both sat down, the beautician had us take off our masks.  Then she got to work. She made some small talk.  We both admitted we were trans and had never done this before.  I could see Ben relax after he admitted that to the beautician.  

Every step of the way she showed us the product she was using, which wasn’t a surprise.  They give you a free makeover so they can sell you on the products.

When I saw Ben, his makeup looked amazing.  He had pulled his ponytail out and his hair was down.  Aside from his masculine clothes, I would’ve never believed that face belonged to a guy.

He was staring at the hand mirror in shock.  I needed to compliment him.  “Ben.”  I said. “You look… pretty.”

His face turned to joy.  He looked at his reflection for another few seconds before he turned to me with such a big smile...  

“Sierra.”  she said smiling.  Her voice was higher.  “Call me Sierra.”

I smiled back.  “Sierra.  You look pretty.”

“Didn’t you look at yourself yet?” she said.

I looked at the mirror.  In it was a beautiful woman.  I saw hints of my sister and my mother.  I looked nothing like Aaron.

Our next stop was a clothing store a block away.  I didn’t know what I was doing.  But I knew I needed jeans.  Sierra grabbed a shopping cart.  Our first stop was the jeans section.  

I scanned women’s jeans.  But then just stood there.  “I don’t know my size.”  I said to Sierra.

“There’s a changing room over there.  Pick up something that looks like it fits, and get the size above and below it.”  She picked up a few pairs and tossed them into the cart.  I did the same and we both walked to the changing rooms.  

“Have you done this before?”  I asked.

“No.” she said.  “But I’ve fantasized about this forever.”

I tried on all 3 pairs.  And found the one that fit the best.  It was snug on my waist, made my butt look cute and wasn’t too tight on my legs.

“Can I see?”  Sierra asked

I came out showing the jeans I settled on.  

“Those look great on you.” she said.

“Thanks.”  I said, blushing.

After we were done with jeans, Sierra spoke up.  “That was too much fun.  We have to do it some more.  Let’s do dresses!”

“I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”

“Oh no!  I’m not letting you off the hook that easily,  I said I wasn’t ready for a makeover and you insisted.  I’m insisting we try out dresses.”

She had a point.

We walked to the dress section.  

Sierra was so excited she went from rack to rack looking at dresses.  She did the same thing she did with the jeans.  She pulled a few sizes off the rack and laid them into the cart.  She then held a navy floral print dress up to me.  “You should try on this one.” she said.  

I blushed.

“Pick some stuff for yourself too!”  she said.

I grabbed a patterned dress off a rack without really looking at it and put it into the cart.

After filling the cart up, we both walked to the changing room.  

“Can you help me with something?” Sierra asked.

“Sure.”  I replied.  

She led me into one of the stalls and opened up her backpack.  She pulled out a small black corset, then pulled off her mask and her t-shirt. She held the corset around her waist.  “Can you tie me up?  I don’t quite have the figure yet for some of those.”

I noticed that I could see white lace panties sticking out above the waist of her jeans.

“OK”  I said.  “But I don’t know what I’m doing.”  I started tugging at the laces.

“As tight as you can get it.”

I pulled harder and heard her grunt a little.  “I’m not hurting you am I?”

“I’m fine.” she said.

When I was done lacing her up, the corset gave her a much better figure than she had.  I walked into my own stall.  Sierra had picked out a few dresses for me to try on.

I pulled off my face mask and then my work clothes.   I was down to my bra and panties.  I mean Kathy’s underwear.  When did I start considering them mine?

I pulled out a patterned dress first.  I wasn’t a fan of the pattern.  It didn’t really fit well.  I took that off.

I next tried on the floral dress that Sierra picked out for me.  I smoothed out the dress as I looked in the mirror.  Sierra has good taste.  The dress hugged all of my curves.  It had a v-neck and this is the first time I really noticed my cleavage.  I looked like a real woman. "Oh wow" I said to myself.

“Come on out and let’s show each other!”  Sierra said, excited.

I exited the changing room and saw Sierra with the biggest smile on her face.  She was wearing a light blue sleeve dress.  It fit her waist perfectly and didn’t draw attention to her lack of breasts.  She was examining herself in the mirror, twirling the hem of the dress around.  In the short time I’ve known either Ben or Sierra I have never seen that wide of a smile on her.  She was truely herself in this moment.  

“Sierra, you look amazing in that.” I said.  I smiled too.  I couldn’t help it.  Her smile was infectious.

When she turned to me her jaw dropped.  “Oh Aaron”  she had a big smile, grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the mirror she was in front of.  “I knew that would look good on you.  I know you didn’t plan for this, but you look gorgeous.”

In the mirror, staring back at us were two women, smiling and happy.   For the first time since this all happened I had a real smile.  I don’t know how she did it, but Sierra was able to bring me out of my funk.  I was actually having fun.  I was also able to acknowledge that I looked good.

“What do you think, Aaron?” she asked.

I was stunned.  That was really me.  I turned to Sierra and said.  “Erin.  I’m Erin now.”

Sierra hugged me.  “It’s nice to finally meet you Erin.”

A tear rolled out of my eye.  Dammit, I thought Dr. Fry said these emotions would level off.

Sierra and I changed back into our original clothes.  Sierra’s smile faded when returned to her guy clothes again as she put her mask back on.  In the shopping basket was the clothes we had just taken off.

“Wanna go somewhere else?  Grab a bite to eat?” she asked.

I had an idea.  I looked at my wallet.  I had enough for it.  It’s not about the money.  That smile on my new friend’s face is worth it.   “Sierra, which outfits were your favorite?”

She picked up the light blue dress from earlier “This one, followed by this one.”  She held up a satin floral dress.

“Good”  I said as I took them and walked straight to the checkout counter

“No.  You can’t” she said.

“It’s my treat.”  I said.  “You have no idea how much you have helped me this evening.”

“Well, at least buy something for yourself.”

She picked up the floral dress I tried on and tossed it to me.  “This is the dress you were wearing when you first introduced yourself to me as Erin.”

Another tear.  “OK”

I paid for the clothes in my hand.

“Thank you.” she said.

“You’re welcome.”  I said. “Now let's put these on.”

“Now?”

“Yes now.  Let’s grab a bite to eat.  Erin and Sierra have places to go.”

* * *

We left the clothing store dressed in our new clothes. Our previous clothes tucked away in a shopping bag.  I realized we both were still wearing sneakers.  But oh well.  We were two cute girls.  Nobody will call us out on our choice of footwear.

We stopped at a restaurant and we were escorted to the outdoor seating.

“Let me take a picture of us.”  Sierra said.  She pulled out her phone and sat next to me.  We pulled off our masks.  “Smile”  she said as she took a selfie of us.  

It was an awesome selfie.  Two girl friends enjoying themselves.

“Can I tag you in it?” she asked as she replaced her face mask.

“I thought you weren’t out?”  

“I’m not.  I have two separate social media accounts.  One for boring old Ben and the other for Sierra.”

I sighed and thought about it.  The more I fight this the worse it gets.  I haven’t come out to anyone except Kathy, Emily and Ben so far.  And so far  I’m 2 for 3 of acceptance. 

“Yeah.”  I agreed. “Tag me.  It’s time to stop hiding and time to start accepting that I’m not changing back.”

I gave her my Instagram username.  I hear my phone’s chime that I got tagged in a picture.  I pulled out my phone and looked at it.  She had written.  “Out on the town with my new bestie Erin.  Show her some love!” I looked at it, bit my lip nervously, and reshared it with my followers. “Out on the town with my new friend Sierra.”

“That was a big step for you.” she said.  “I’m proud of you.  By the way, you didn’t have to buy me two outfits.” Sierra said.

“Yeah, well it’s your turn for a big step.  The second outfit is for your date with Darcy.”

“Date?  Darcy?”

“Yes.  I set Sierra up on a blind date.”

“But I can't.” she said worrying.

I grabbed her hand.  “Sierra, trust me.  Darcy is expecting a cute trans girl to show up.”

“But I’m not a cute trans girl”

“Yes.  Yes you are.” I squeezed her hand.  “I pulled the selfie back up on the phone.  I see two beautiful women here.”

“I’m nervous.  I mean I’m excited.  I haven’t been on a date in a long time.  I’ve never left the house as Sierra until this evening.”

“It’s OK to be nervous.  I’ve been on plenty of dates. I’ll help you. ”

“OK” she said.  She closed her eyes and let out a squeal  “Yes.  I’ll do it!  I wanna go on a date with her!  So badly!”

I smiled as I picked my phone back up and texted Darcy.  “My friend wants to meet you. She’s excited.” I typed and hit send.

As I looked up I saw another black van in the distance, parked on the street.  It could be just a coincidence.  Or it could be the same black van.

Just then the waiter brought us our food.

I got nervous so I asked for our check too.

* * *

We got back to my house.  I looked up and down my street for that black van but I didn’t see it.  I felt a little relieved.

Sierra and I spent twenty minutes just sitting on my couch while I texted Darcy back and forth. Sierra was both nervous and eager.  So we eventually settled on tomorrow evening.  A local bar and grill.  I was going to accompany Sierra and introduce her to Darcy.  

Once we figured that out, Sierra mentioned that it was late and she was working an early Saturday shift.

“Can I leave my stuff here?” she asked.  “I’d have a hard time explaining these dresses to my mom”

“Sure.”  I said.  “You can come over again tomorrow to get ready for your date.”

“Awesome” Sierra hugged me “Thank you for a wonderful evening” and she left.

I let Speckles out and waited for her to come back in.  After letting her back in I walked to my room, took off my new dress and crashed into my bed in just my underwear.  What an evening.  What a day.

I pulled out my phone.  I had a whole mass of notifications. I just remembered I essentially came out as trans over Instagram only a few hours ago.  I decided to ignore those and pulled up my texting app and texted Kathy.  “Thinking about you.  I miss you.  Please come home.”

I put my phone down.  I wonder.  I peeked into my panties.  I didn’t see anything.  I decided to take them off to inspect.

Where I expected to see my dick was a new pink vagina.

I let my fingers touch my new clit. Which felt like the same sensation as playing with the head of my old dick, but more sensitive.  

Was I ready for this?  “I’m diving into being Erin head first.”  I told myself.  Let’s do it.  I unclasped my bra and tossed it to the side.

I started rubbing my clit.  It felt good.  I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and started to relax. 

I let my finger drift down to my new vagina.  The folds were just as sensitive.  I let my finger slide up and down my new opening.  I could feel a stirring inside of me.  I let my finger sink in.  I was already wet.  Nice, warm and sticky.  

I was curious.  I licked my finger.  I wanted to know what I tasted like.  Warm and salty.  This actually made me more turned on.  I could feel myself getting wetter.

I continued sliding my wet finger along my folds.  I was moving faster,  Every now and then I’d slow down and focus on my clit.  My slick fingers on my nub felt amazing.  

Yet I yearned for more.

I grabbed one of my breasts with my free hand and started playing with my nipple.

I sunk my finger further into my vagina and felt around.  I let it go in and out trying to find the right placement and motion.  I quickly found the right spots and continued fingering myself.

I could feel a buildup within me.  I started squirming as the pressure was building.  My breathing increased and I could hear moans leave my mouth.  My cute moans.  I was turning myself on.

My hips started moving on their own.  Trying to get my finger to go deeper.  My eyes were wide open.  I watched my boobs bounce on their own.  I’m so hot.  

I let another finger go inside me.  My new pussy was so tight.  It felt great having my fingers inside me.  I fingered faster and faster.   My thumb was playing with my clit. Yes.  Yes. 

As I reached orgasm I moaned, I felt my muscles squeeze down on my fingers.  Yes!

I rolled over panting.  I can get used to that.

Chapter 7 - New Beginnings

SATURDAY

I woke up to Speckles licking my face.  I opened my eyes and pet her. "Good morning to you too Babygirl now get down so da- mommy can get up and fix you breakfast." Speckles got down as I sat up stretching and yawning..  The sun was streaming through the window.  I slept pretty good.

I got up to let Speckles out.  But first, I changed into one of my old t-shirts, and grabbed a pair of Kathy’s shorts. I let Speckles out and walked Into the kitchen.

Passing my height mark on the door jamb I noticed I hadn't shrunk anymore..  Cupping my breasts told me those have not grown either.  I grabbed the back of my hair.  It seems to have stopped growing right at the middle of my back.

The transformation must be over.  I thought back to last night.  It was so fun.  It was almost like I was living a different life.  Yesterday I outed myself on social media.  I had willingly accepted a new name for myself.  That means today will be my first full day of being Erin, a cute 36 year old woman.  Unemployed too.  I’m going to have to fix that last part.

I picked up my phone to finally check the fallout from my social media post.

A friend request from Sierra.  I added Sierra back.

A female friend, Gina from my gaming group said, “OMG, Aaron I can’t believe you just came out as trans!  I wanna hear all about it!”

One of my male friends, Harry said. “Congratulations Aaron.”

A former coworker, Kayla said.  “Have you picked a new name yet?”

I replied to Kayla.  “My name is Erin now.”  I added in a smile emoji.

I had 10 more of those types of messages.  I even got messages from people I didn’t know.  Likely friends of Sierra’s.  Those messages were sharing positive messages about courage and finding myself.  A good start to the morning, regardless.

I let Speckles back in and fed her as I started getting out a bowl to make breakfast.

There was a knock at the door and Speckles barked.  I got up to open it, on my front porch was my sister Emily.

“Em. You’re early.”  I said still a little groggy.

“I came once I saw your Instagram picture.” she said.  “Oh my God!  Look at you!  You look so much like me!  We could almost be twins.”

“Oh I haven't noticed.” I said sarcastically.

“I brought you coffee.  No Sugar.  French Vanilla creamer.”  She handed me a coffee cup.

“Thanks.  You didn’t have to do that. Come on in.  I’m just about to eat breakfast.”

Emily came in as Speckles jumped on her, sniffing her and trying to lick her.  Emily pet her.  “Hi girl.  What’s that?  Your male companion changed into a female?  She smells better now, huh?  You don’t say.”  Both Emily and Speckles followed me.

I sat down and poured myself a bowl of cereal.  Emily sat in front of me.

“So what happened?.” she said.  “Tell me everything.”

I filled her in on everything that has happened during the past 5 days.  The drug trial, my transformation, Kathy leaving, Mike groping me, quitting my job, my new friend Sierra.

“You’re going by Erin now?”

“Yeah.  A part of me was considering something else.  Something not as close to Aaron - maybe Alexis - but the more I heard people calling me Erin, the more it grew on me.”

“Alexis is pretty too.  You could always pick it for a middle name.”

Talking about names made me realize that I’m going to have to legally change every single ID I own.  Sounds like a headache. I parroted my thoughts verbally to Emily.  “I’m going to have to change every ID I own.  That sounds like a headache.  This sucks.”

“Welcome to being a woman!”  Emily gave me a smirk.  “I had to do it when I got married.  Now you get to do it!”

Shit.  Now I feel stupid for insulting her.

“So you’re 100% woman now?”

“As far as I can tell.  I am on the outside at least.”

“Can I see the dress you bought?”

“Yeah.”  I said getting up and walking to my bedroom.  Emily and Speckles followed.

The dress was still draped over my dresser from last night.  I lifted it up to show her.

“Nice. Can I see it on you?”

“I guess.”  I was about to remove my t-shirt when I said.  “I’m not wearing a bra.”

“So?  We’re both sisters now.”  She gave me a warm smile.  It put me a little more at ease, but I still found it a little weird stripping in front of my older sister.

I took the t-shirt off, feeling my cheeks go red.  I was standing there in my girlfriend’s panties - in front of my sister.  How embarrassing.  Despite being a woman now, I kinda still felt like a crossdressing man.  I’m sure I’ll get used to this.  Grabbing the dress, I slipped it back on.

She looked me up and down.

“What?” I asked.

“Well, do you want me to sugarcoat it or be honest?”

“Be honest, Em.  That’s why I called you.”

“Good.  I’ll start with the good.  That is a very cute dress.  You fit it well.  But-”

“But?”

 “Erin.  Erin, dear.  My new sister. You know I love you. You’re very pretty. But you have to shave.”  She giggled.

“Shave?”

“Yes. Your arms. Your legs. Your armpits.  You look like a cave girl up close.”

“I didn’t realize.” I said looking down and noticing.  I guess I really hadn’t looked at my legs.

“You were excited.” she said.  “And I bet your new friend just didn’t have the heart to say.”

“My new friend - Sierra is just as new to this as I am.”

My cell phone rang.  The caller ID says it’s coming from the grocery store.  Oh boy.  I was kinda expecting this call. “Its work - the one I just quit.”  I told Emily.

“Well, answer it.” she insisted.

I nodded.   “Hello?”  I answered.

“Is this Erin?” the male voice on the other end asked.

“Speaking”  I replied.

“Hi Erin, I’m the regional manager, I wanted to call to talk to you about what happened yesterday.”

I took a deep breath and sat down next to Emily on the bed.  “Go ahead.”

“We’ve let go of your store manager Mike for his actions.  Yours wasn’t the first complaint about him.  It was the first time he’s physically assaulted someone though.”

Just hearing him say that made me feel ill.  “I see.”

“Erin, we want to offer you your job back.  In fact, we want to make you a cashier, which comes with increased pay.  Your peers and the assistant manager have vouched for your work ethic and team spirit.  Corporate also has resources for trans employees such as yourself.”

“I uh.  I don’t know what to say.”

“If you want to take a few days to think about it, we can hold this offer open a little longer.”

Emily was smiling and nodding at me. 

“I’ll take it.”

“Welcome back to the team, Erin.  We’ll add you back to the schedule starting Monday morning.  Have a good rest of your weekend.”

“Thank you.  You too.”  I said.  We hung up.

“I have a job again!” I told Emily.

“That’s so awesome.  What did you want to do with the day?”

“I think I need clothes.  I meant to buy clothes yesterday but wound up just having too much fun with Sierra.  Maybe make a list of everything I need to do to fix my identity.  Tell me everything I need to know about being a woman.”

She laughed.  “Yes.  Let’s do that.  Shower and shave first.  Then we can go shopping.”

“Do I really have to shave everything?” 

“You were a guy a week ago.  You’ve seen women naked. I bet you have a preference. You know the answer to that.” she said with a smirk.  

“Ug”  I said.  “Double standard!”

She laughed.  “Now you get to see what we’ve had to put up with.”

I searched the cabinet under the bathroom vanity and found a bottle of Nair.  I held it up to Emily.  “Have you ever used this stuff?”

“I personally just use a razor, but since you’ve never shaved those parts before, you can start with that.”

I went into the bathroom, read the directions on the bottle and started applying it to my legs.  After the allotted two minutes, I took a wet rag and wiped the cream off.  To my amazement, all of the hair came off with it.  “This stuff is crazy!”  I said out loud.

I repeated the process with my arms and armpits, anywhere I missed on my legs.

I then took a pair of clippers to my bush.  I eyed it for a minute or so.  What do I want that to look like?  There’s only one person I want to have sex with.  What would she want?  What would Aaron have wanted?  I decided to go with a neat landing strip.  I trimmed around it then used some of Kathy’s shaving cream and a new razor to clean up around it.

When I was done, I hopped into the shower to rinse off.  I was amazed at how smooth I was after doing that.

I took a nice long shower.  After last night I was much more comfortable with my body.  I let my hands explore every curve of it.  I was mesmerized as I watched the hot water run off my shoulders and down my breasts.

When I was done exploring and all clean, I turned off the shower and grabbed a towel. When I dried off, I felt my legs.  They were so smooth.  So sexy.  I suddenly started to get turned on then stopped.  

When I came out of the shower, wrapped in my towel, Emily was placing clothing on the bed.  “I brought over some extra clothing of mine that I don’t wear anymore.”

“That’s awesome.”

“We appear to be the same size now, so these should all fit!”

“Today is the first day I don’t have to go to work.  What should I wear?”

“I’m just wearing a cute top and jeans.  Let’s start with that.  Pick out an outfit.”

I scanned the folded clothing on the bed.  I picked out blue skinny jeans and a lavender top.

“That’s a cute combo.  I think you’ll get the hang of this very quickly.”

I walked to Kathy’s underwear drawer and pulled out a bra and panties.  “I really need my own underwear”  I pulled up the panties.  They felt great on my smooth legs.  Despite how often I’ve done our laundry, I never really noticed how soft they were.

“We’ll add that to our list.”

* * *

We decided to go out underwear shopping first.  I’m glad I had Emily with me.  I would've been way too embarrassed to go alone. She escorted me into the store and to the underwear section.

“Have you figured out your bra size yet?”  Emily asked.

“No. I’ve just been wearing Kathy’s older bras.”

“Well let's get you fitted.”

“What do I tell them?  That I’m 36, and I don’t know my bra size?”

“Watch and learn dear sister.” she said walking up to a sales girl.

“Hi.” she said.  “My sister here has been complaining about back problems.  I told her she’s likely wearing the wrong bra.  She claims to never have been properly fitted before.”

I turned red with embarrassment.

“This way.” the sales girl said, taking me to the changing room.

“Sorry”  I said.  “This is embarrassing.”

“You’d be amazed at how many women wear the wrong size bra.  Don’t be embarrassed.  Can you take your shirt off please?“

I took my shirt off. 

She wrapped a measuring tape around the upper part of my chest just above my breasts.  “Your band is 36 inches.” Then she wrapped it around my boobs. “Your bust size is 39, that means you’re a C cup.  36 C.”

I guess that was painless.  I took this new info with me to Emily.

40 minutes later, I had a shopping basket full of bras and panties.   As I went to pay, Emily pushed me aside and paid with her credit card instead of me.

“Em!  You don’t have to pay. These are my clothes.”

“I finally have a younger sister I can go shopping with.  I also know you’re hurting financially.  Consider this all early Christmas presents.”

“Thank you.”  I said wiping a tear out of my eye.

We went store after store.  I got some leggings, more jeans, some flannel and plaid tops for autumn weather, a few more work shirts, a few things of pantyhose, and a skirt that Emily insisted on getting me.  We went to the shoe store.  I got flats, new sneakers, and a pair of black heels.  She also got a whole bunch of makeup so I don’t have to use up Kathy’s.  I’m going to have to pay her back.  This was all too much.

* * *

When we got home, I took my bag of clothing and walked into my room.  I opened my underwear drawer and emptied all of the boxer shorts I had and replaced them with the new bras and panties I got.  My bras and panties.  Not Kathy’s.  Mine.  It was a weird thought.

I hung up all of the new clothes I got too, pushing all of my old stuff to the side.  I’ll go through all of this another time.

Together Emily and I made a list of all things I needed to do.

Change my ID and social security, make sure all of my properties are in my new name.  Car, title, registration, find a “lady doctor”, etc.

I told Emily that I was expecting Sierra to come over later in the afternoon to prepare for her date with Darcy.  She was OK with that as she was eager to meet my new friend.  Plus this gave us a reason to dress up together too.

* * *

Sierra, currently presenting as Ben, came over and I let her in.

“This is my sister Emily.”  I told her.

“Hi.” she said.  “I’m Ben.”

“You don’t have to hide.” Emily said.  “I saw the picture of you girls together.”

Sierra bit her lip.  “I guess I just don’t feel like a Sierra at the moment.”

“We can change that!”  I said.  “Emily has agreed to help both of us.  And get you ready for your date”  I looked back at a nervous Sierra. “If you’re cool with that.”

“I am.” she said.  “I’m just very nervous.”

“Ok girls.”  Emily said.  “Let’s sit at the table.”

All of us sat down.  “Sierra, have you done your own makeup before?”

“No, But I’ve watched YouTube videos and imagined it was me.”

For the next hour, Emily had us sit in front of a mirror and she coached us on how to do our own makeup.  It was weird at first, but I was able to get the hang of it.  Sierra caught on much quicker than I did.  Maybe it’s because this has been a dream of hers for a long time, and I of course, was a man 5 days ago.

I gave Sierra the good news that I was returning to work on Monday.  She was excited.  I also said that they were going to move me to cashier.  Sierra said that she was getting moved up to cashier as well… well Ben was.

When our makeup was done Sierra looked like her cute pretty self again.  She put on the other dress that I bought for her last night.  The new satin floral dress.  She looked amazing and ready for her date.

I changed out of the purple top I was wearing and put on a burgundy sweater top Emily gave me.  Emily changed into a black skirt with a navy blue top.

Emily got out a curling iron and hair spray and styled our hair.  When it was done, both Sierra and I admired ourselves in the mirror.  I was impressed at how well I looked.  I actually took pride in it.

“Can I get a picture?” Sierra asked, handing me her phone.  

I took a picture of her smiling in her dress.

“Can you get in too Erin?” 

“Sure” I handed the phone to Emily.  “Oh, Em, can you take one with my phone too?”  I don’t know why I’m so excited about this.  This is Sierra’s date night, not mine.

Emily took pictures with both phones.

“Can I get one with my sister?” Emily asked, handing her own phone to Sierra.  Sierra took our picture

Once Sierra and I got our phones back, we posted our pictures to Instagram.  Emily just laughed at our eagerness to post our transformations.

* * *

When we got to the restaurant the three of us got out of the car and walked up to the outdoor hostess at the restaurant.  

“How many?  Inside or outside?” she asked.

“Two. Outside.” I replied.

She then escorted us to a table.  I saw Darcy a few tables away, so I escorted Sierra to Darcy.

Darcy stood up and smiled.

“Darcy, this is my good friend Sierra.” I said.

Sierra was squeezing my hand and was blushing.  She took her mask off as well and smiled back.

“Sierra.” Darcy said.  “It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

“Thank you.” she said, still nervous.

“Have a seat, stay a while.” she said motioning to the empty seat across from her.

“Good luck and most importantly, have fun”  I whispered into Sierra’s ear.

“Thank you” she replied as she took her seat and I walked back to Emily.

The waiter came by and stopped by our table. “Good evening ladies, can I get you something to drink?”

It’s still weird to be called a lady.

“Yes.” Emily said. “I’ll take a house margarita.  And my- sister-  will have…”

“Same.”  I added.  

“Why’d you order for me?”

“I really just wanted to use the word ‘sister’ again.” she giggled. “I’ve never had a sister before.”

I laughed.  “It’s going to take me a while to get used to that.”

“Which is why I keep doing it.”  she laughed. She pointed back at Sierra and Darcy. “They are so cute together.”

“They are.”

“That was a good thing you did there, Erin.  I didn’t know you were capable of being such a matchmaker.”

“It was fun. It helped take my mind off of my own relationship problems.  I needed the distraction.  Plus I kind of like them.  As friends I mean. I hadn’t had any real good friends in a while.”

“So let’s talk about Kathy.  Have you heard from her yet?”

“No.”

“You said you thought maybe your relationship was on the rocks before your… transition?”

“Yeah.  Finances were hurting us.”

“Is that all?”

I took a deep breath.  Was it only the finances?  “I think she may have resented that she was working and I wasn’t.  Now granted, I think she appreciated everything I did around the house, but household chores for a family of 2 and a dog don’t take very long.”

The waiter brought us our drinks.  Emily held her drink out.  “To new beginnings.”

“To new beginnings”  I echoed as we clinked our glasses.

I took a sip of my drink and sighed.  “Is it possible she doesn’t want me back?”

“It’s possible.  She might be waiting for you to own your mistake.  Maybe show her that you’re concerned for her feelings.”

I thought about that.  I was very much not accepting my situation last time I saw her.  My texts have been pretty much selfish about how I wanted her back.  

“I need to re-introduce her to Erin, don’t I?”

“Absolutely. There is no more Aaron, therefore she doesn’t even know who she’s dating anymore.”

I frowned.

“Erin. I’m your big sister.  I will miss Aaron.  I will miss my brother.  Even though I’m happy to have Erin and a new sister in my life.  And I know you’re still the same person.  I know that Aaron didn’t die and he lives on in you.  I know all of that.  And I’m just your sister.  Imagine what’s going through your girlfriend's mind.  Is Kathy mourning her boyfriend?”

I took another sip of my drink.  “I’ll see if I can get her to talk to me.  I’ll give her my total undivided attention tomorrow.”

I looked back at Sierra and Darcy.  Both were smiling and laughing.  They were holding hands on top of the table.  I wonder how long they were crushing on each other before I arrived.  It’s so great that it worked out between them. 

I turned back to Emily.  “What if Kathy is straight?”

“Then you both deserve closure.”  She said.  “Erin.. how about you?  What are you feeling?”

“Me?  Well.  I um.  Nothing has changed.  I’m still straight… I mean.  I’m still attracted to women.”

“Are you sure?”  She looked around, and found a group of guys at another table.  “Those guys over there.  Are any of them cute?”

“No.  Not at all.  Still not into guys.”

“The table of women over there?”

“Well the brunette one is kinda cute.  The blonde has a nice rack.”

She laughed.  “See.  That answers that question”  she took a sip of her drink.

“But I still love Kathy.  I want to get back together with her.  I want to propose to her.  I want to- have... kids...”  I let the sentence trail off as I just looked at Emily.

Emily saw the sadness that washed over my face.  She grabbed my hand and held it. “There are other ways Erin.”

I closed my eyes and wiped a tear away.  “You’re right.  First things first.  I need to talk to Kathy.”

I saw that black van drive by again.  I got that paranoid feeling again.

* * *

When Sierra’s date with Darcy was over, the two of them walked over to Emily and I, holding hands.  So cute.  Darcy thanked me for setting everything up, gave Sierra a peck on the cheek and left.

Emily paid our tab.  This gave us the opportunity to grill Sierra for details.

“I’m on cloud nine.  That was so good.  We agreed to have another date… without an audience.”

I laughed.  “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, I asked you to come.  I was nervous.  I’m really glad you set this up.”

We drove back to my house, Sierra washed up and presented as Ben again as she said good night to us and left.

Emily and I sat on the couch watching TV until she fell asleep on the couch..  I scrolled through Instagram comments again.  So much positivity coming from people I used to know that have come out to tell me how pretty I look and offer me encouragement.  If there were transphobic people in my network, they didn’t message me.

Some people were asking about what I was wearing.  What kind of makeup I put on.  Where I bought the outfit.

I wonder if I should post about some of this on my blog.  I got minimal engagement from my movie and TV reviews.  What if I shared some of my experiences on becoming a woman?

I started walking to my bedroom.  Maybe tomorrow.  I’ll add that to my list.  But at the top of that list was win Kathy back.

Chapter 8 - The Interrogation

SUNDAY

In the morning, I put on a t-shirt and leggings.  They were very comfortable.  I can see why women liked them.  It was going to be a chill sort of day before I start the new week.

After breakfast, I said goodbye to Emily.  I thanked her for everything.  Especially the expensive clothing bill she shouldered. She gave me a big hug and wished me luck with everything.

When it was just me and Speckles, I pulled out my phone and started drafting my message to Kathy.

“Hi Kathy.  I’m finally ready to talk.”  Short.  Simple.  To the point.

After I hit send I walked to my computer and I started typing up my blog post.

“The Week I Became Erin” is what I called it.

I detailed my experiences with people I knew and strangers.  I left out the whole drug trial thing and how long the transformation took. I talked about the makeup trial, my experiences with Sierra, the clothing I bought with Sierra and Emily, and the To-Do list that Emily and I worked on.  I re-read it a few times, and published it.

It was around 11 am and I was getting hungry.  I decided to drive to Panda Express.  I was craving some Orange Chicken.

I pulled into the parking lot, put my mask on, and walked into the restaurant.  I noticed a guy who walked past me, holding a bag of food checking me out.  His eyes were glued to my chest.  As we passed I turned around to see his eyes now glued to my ass.  He didn't take his eyes off my ass until he ran right into the door, spilling his soup.  I giggled to myself.  

Did I just giggle?  I think I did.  Maybe this can be fun.  I’m still not attracted to men, but I guess they’re attracted to me.  I don’t blame them.  I’m attracted to me as well.

I ordered Orange Chicken with Black Pepper Angus Steak and Chow Mein to go.  When it was ready, I took the bag and returned to my car.

On my way back, I saw that black van following me.  I decided to take a different way home, and I managed to lose the van.  What’s with these guys?  They’re everywhere!

I pulled into my driveway and got out of the car.  I put my Chinese food on my porch as I fiddled with my keys.  Behind me I heard a voice.

“Aaron?  We’d like to speak with you.”

I saw two men in black suits walking up my driveway.

Shit.  I dropped my keys and started running around the outside of my house.  The two men started chasing me.  

“Wait, we just want to ask you a few questions.”  one of the men said.

Bullshit.  I’ve watched plenty of movies where men in suits come to “ask questions.”

I rounded the corner in my backyard and found a shovel that Kathy had been begging for me to put away for weeks.  I ducked around the corner, grabbed the shovel with two hands and slammed the head of it into the first chaser who rounded the corner.

The chaser collapsed as the shovel made a clang.  I kept running.

I heard the guy yell.  “Fuck!”

I continued running as the second guy was right behind him.  I was back in the front yard again, and I picked up a pot of wilted Mums that Kathy put out a month ago.  I threw it at my chaser.  

The pot didn’t break as it turned upside down and dumped soil all over him.  He looked pissed.  Shit.  In the movies pots break over people’s heads.

My chaser threw the plastic pot aside and managed to grab my arm and pull me in.

“Let go of me.”  I said as he wrapped my arms up.  I couldn’t move.  “I’m going to scream!” I said.  But that’s when he cupped my mouth.  Maybe I shouldn’t have told him my plans of screaming.

I was flailing, and kicking my legs, when the second chaser who had a bloody nose came and held my legs together.

They dragged me into my house and threw me down on my couch.  Speckles, not much of a guard dog, barked at them, but one of the men locked her into another room. Speckles continued to bark.

“Sit down and stay still.” one of my attackers said.

My mind was racing so fast.  If I run quickly to the kitchen, maybe I could grab a kitchen knife.

“Are you Aaron or Kathy?” the guy covered in potting soil asked.

“Neither” I replied. I don’t know who these guys think they are, but they’re not getting answers from me.

“You must be Aaron then.”

“Yeah?  Do I look like an Aaron?”  I gestured at my body.

A third suited gentleman came into my house.  Soiled guy turned to him.  “Take his blood.  Make sure he’s not contagious.”

“Hey now.”  I said.  “You never even asked me my preferred pronouns.”

Bloody nose guy held me down on my couch as the third guy rolled up my sleeve.

“Hey I don’t like needles.”

He poked the needle in me, taking a vial of blood.  He walked out of the house.

There’s only 2 of them in the house.  Maybe I can take them.

“Are you going to be cooperative now?” Soil guy said, throwing me a Band-Aid for the puncture wound.

“Cooperative?”  I said tossing the Band-Aid aside.  “You attacked me.  You want me to be cooperative?”

“We just want to ask you some questions.  You ran and attacked us.  We’ll ask you questions and we’ll let you go.”

“But you’ve been creeping on me for 2 days.  You deserved it.”

“No we haven’t.“  he said.  “This is the first visit we’ve made to you.”

“Then what's with that black van I've been seeing everywhere.  Like that one over there!” I pointed at the black van in my neighbor's driveway.

My interrogator looked and laughed.  “You mean the Amazon Prime van?” he said.  “Our car is over there.”  Through my window I could see a white sedan sitting in my driveway with the needle guy at the trunk doing something.

Was I just being paranoid this whole time thinking a delivery van was chasing me?  “You just want to ask me questions?”

“That’s all we want.  As long as you’re cooperative.”

“Fine.  Ask away and then leave.  Stop poking me with needles too.”

I heard my phone which was on the floor start buzzing.

“Can I get that?  It might be my girlfriend.  Or my sister.  Or my friend.  Or maybe it’s this Aaron guy you’re looking for.”

“You’re not cooperating.”

“Fine.  Ask your questions.”  I started to rub my wrists where they had grabbed me and held me.

“Where is Dr. Fry?”

“I don’t know.  I haven’t seen him since Wednesday.  Hopefully he didn’t die in that fire.”

“Do you know who set the fire?”

“What?  No.  I assume you and your goons did that. Maybe you wanted to burn the evidence.”

“Evidence of what?  We’re trying to investigate how that happened. We have reason to believe it might be sabotage.  Arson.”

Yeah. OK.  “I tried to call him Thursday.  I tried to see him Friday.  I was unsuccessful.  If you see him, tell him that he owes me $1000.  I have his business card in my car if you want it.”

“What do you know about Dr. Fry’s work?”

“Only that he is trying to change men into women.”

“Is that the extent of it?”

“Yeah I guess.  I personally know one trans woman who would love for this drug to go to market.”

“You don’t think this drug is dangerous?”

“Isn’t every drug dangerous?  You know.  You’re feeling lonely and horny one night, and you just broke up with your hand, or maybe your dick isn’t doing it for you.  You smoke a joint, take a hit of Drug 1350.  Instant party!  Woo!”

“You’re being uncooperative again.” Bloody nose guy said.

I rolled my eyes.

“How long have you been working for him?” Soil guy continued.

“Working for him?  I’m a trial participant.”

“Really?  Our records show that there are no clinical trials for their experiments.  If you’re not working for him, why did you take the drug?”

“They were offering two grand for trial volunteers.  I needed the money.”

“But there is no trial.  How did you find out about the drug.”

“I walked up to the receptionist.  I said I was here for the trial.  Give me money.”

“You walked up to an unknown clinic and you changed your gender for the money?”

“I thought I was doing a COVID vaccine trial.  I didn’t know what the line was for.  Well... there wasn’t really a line.  Everything I know about the trial, the receptionist and Dr. Fry told me.. They gave me something to read.  I didn’t read it.”

“Again, there was never a trial.  You walked up to a lab and volunteered to take an experimental drug?”

Both guys started laughing.  Soil guy continued.  “Let me get this straight.  You walked up to a random window, agreed to whatever they were doing and didn’t read any of the waivers?  And they gave you a crazy story about clinical trials?”

“Well, I certainly don’t think it’s very funny.  You try growing breasts and watch your balls get sucked up into your body and see how you like it!”

My interrogators kept laughing at me.  I was more annoyed than I was embarrassed.  These guys have worn out their welcome.

“This guy doesn’t know anything.  Is he safe to let go?” Bloody nose guy said.

The 3rd guy from the car came back into my house. “No trace of the drug in his.. or rather her.. system any more.”

“You’re free to go.” Soiled guy said.  He handed me a business card.  “Let us know if Dr. Fry resurfaces.”

“What about my $1000?” I asked.

He laughed.  “You’re lucky you got any money.  Or rather, you’re lucky you’re still alive after getting injected with an experimental compound.”  

“He’s lucky he’s alive after hitting me with a shovel.” Bloody nose guy chimed in.

“She!” I yelled back at him.

All three men left my house.  

I picked up my phone from the floor.  The missed call was from Sierra.

All of this excitement made me forget how hungry I was for a moment.  My heart was still racing.  I retrieved my Panda Express from the front porch and set it on the counter.

Do I tell Sierra about my uninvited guests?  I decided against it.  They left, I don’t want anyone to worry about me.

I called her back. 

“Hey Erin.” she said when she answered.

“Hey.  What’s up?”

“Just calling to check up on you.  To see if you’ve heard from Kathy.”

“No not yet. How about you?  How are you doing?”

“Darcy and I have another date tomorrow night.  I’m really excited.”

“That’s awesome.  You two make a very cute couple.”  

“Thank you.  I owe it all to you.”

“You’re very welcome.”

We chatted a little bit more, before we let each other go.

My heart rate finally leveled off and I got really hungry.  I opened up my well deserved and well earned Chinese food and started eating it.

Only a few bites in I got full.  I wonder if my stomach or appetite shrunk from this transformation too.  I haven’t been nearly as hungry lately.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, I was antsy.  It was still mid afternoon and I was bored.  There’s nothing to watch on TV.  I could call Sierra and see what she's up to, but since I already spent the previous two nights with her, I figured I’d let her get her own alone time.

I decided to take a drive up to the mountains.  If I go now, I can watch the sunset.

I grabbed a hoodie for myself and Speckles’s leash and we both got into my car and drove to Cades Cove, a park in the mountains that Kathy and I would go to often.

I parked the car and then me and Speckles got out and started hiking along the trail.  I found the spot that Kathy and I always stopped at.  It was a gorgeous view of the west.  The fall sun was already low in the sky.  I sat down on a nearby log and just stared off into the distance alone with my thoughts. 

Speckles laid down at my feet.

The setting sun was warm on my face.  It was nice.

I missed Kathy.  I checked my phone again.  No messages from Kathy.  Sure I got plenty of notifications from everyone else.  Responses to my Instagram posts.  Responses to my blog posts.  The person I really wanted to talk to wasn’t responding.

I’m not usually one to meditate, but I was in the mood for it.  It’s been a crazy day.  An even crazier week.  I feel like I just need a reset and to find some inner calm.

I gazed at the sunset, eventually closed my eyes and zoned out to the sounds of the wind, birds, and just the sounds of nature.  When the sun finally set, it started to get cold, so Speckles and I hiked back to the car.

* * *

When I got home later that night, I curled up on the couch with the throw blanket and scanned my phone.

I saw Emily post to her Facebook the picture of us from last night.  “I was so happy to spend Saturday with my sister, Erin.”  This brought a smile to my face.  I’m so happy that Emily has accepted the new me.

I continued checking my phone the rest of the evening.  Waiting for any indication that Kathy’s ready to talk.  Nothing.  Finally I went to bed, ready to start the new week.

* * *

MONDAY

It’s Monday morning.  It’s been a full week since I got injected with the experimental drug.  Looking back on the past week is crazy.  I started last Monday as an unemployed man.  Today I’m a woman with a new job.

I pulled out some new work clothes and new underwear I got over the weekend- my new black skinny jeans, and a new black shirt I got. With all of the new clothes I got I almost wish that the grocery store had a cuter uniform. 

Yeah, I never have thought that a week ago, I did appreciate how I looked in the mirror.  I had a great body, and I wanted to flaunt it.

After showering, getting dressed and tending to Speckles, I sat down with my breakfast and read through the comments to my blog.  

I had a whole bunch of positive feedback.  In fact, the number of followers grew.  One person commented that they enjoyed my description of my transition better than my movie reviews.  I actually got a person who was a representative for a makeup company said they were going to send me some free samples to try out and review.  That was cool.  

I went through, thanking everyone for their feedback and well wishes.  And of course, I said I’d take the makeup rep up on their offer.  I like free stuff.  I snuck a peek at the clothing bill Emily paid for this weekend.  All of that stuff was NOT cheap.

* * *

When I arrived at work, those who I passed welcomed me back.  I got a lot of smiles.  A lot of  “Hi Erin!” and “Welcome back, Erin!”  Some thanked me for getting Mike tossed.  Though I felt a little weird about that seeing as it wasn’t really my plan to lure him into groping me.  The assistant manager - or rather former assistant manager, Ruth was promoted to manager.  She was happy about Mike getting canned too, obviously.

Today I was learning how to be a cashier.  I’ve done retail once in my 20s.  But being a grocery store cashier was a whole other level.  Produce doesn’t have barcodes.  You either have to find the sticker with the produce number or memorize it.

I ran into Sierra- or rather Ben who was doing his own cashier training.  I did pull him aside and ask how he wanted me to refer to him at work.  He replied that he wanted to be Ben at work for the foreseeable future.  He wanted to come out to his family first before coming out to our co-workers.  

Ruth directed me to shadow Darcy all morning. I spent the morning watching her and learning the ins and outs of being a cashier.  Where to look up produce prices, how to apply coupons and discounts, and all of that fun stuff.

By lunch time I got to work at my own register.  I was slow at first.  I had a rough time identifying some produce I’ve never bought before.  Thankfully no customers were dicks about it.  

Since that was really the first time I’ve really been out in public with people around for a longer period of time, I did notice a number of male customers checking me out. “Yo, eyes up here, buddy.”  I was flattered, but it was also weird and disgusting at the same time.  Did I do that to women when I was a man?

At lunch time, I was eating with Ben and Darcy.  I actually felt like a third wheel, but I didn’t mind.  Ben and Darcy were talking about their favorite bands and TV shows.  They talked a little about their date later tonight.  Ben was saying he only had two outfits.  Darcy was excited to see the second one.  They didn’t tell me where they were going, but Ben obviously had to make arrangements with me to stop at my place to get dressed.  I was OK with that.  I was feeling a little lonely, and could use the time to practice makeup with Sierra.

I casually checked the time.  This is about the same time a week ago that I was at the clinic.  So it’s been a full week since my world was turned upside down.  I let out a quiet sigh, trying to not let Ben and Darcy see that I was feeling down.

Just then my cell phone rang.  

I checked it.  It was Kathy.  I eagerly answered it.

“Hello? Kathy?”

“Hi Erin.” she said. “I’m ready to talk.”

Chapter 9 - Kathy

I picked up my cell phone and I dialed his - I mean her - number.  One ring.  Two rings.  On the third ring she answered in an unfamiliar voice.  “Hello?  Kathy?”

My name is Kathy.  For the past several days I’ve been living with my parents.  It wasn’t by choice.  My boyfriend Aaron decided to be careless and injected himself with an experimental drug for money.

It all started last Sunday when I asked him to get a job.  You see, we’ve been hurting financially for most of the year.  Aaron bounced around temp jobs, unable to hold them.  When the pandemic started he was laid off and the temp agency stopped calling.  My hours were reduced too.  We were bleeding money.  I had to dip into my own savings to keep us afloat.  I was angry.  I tried to reduce our expenses.  I cut up most of the credit cards, cancelled frivolous subscriptions. I cancelled all TV except Netflix.  I even cancelled my birth control.  

I was on the verge of leaving him.  So I told him bluntly that we were broke, and if he didn’t get a job, I’d be gone.  So Monday morning, he decided to finally take my advice, man up and get a job at the grocery store.  While he did get the job, he also decided to make a very dangerous and careless decision for our household.  He went to a sketchy clinic and signed up for a drug trial that promised him money in exchange for injecting him with a drug that he didn’t understand.

I didn't know this Monday night.  He came home happy, with a nice sum of cash.  I was happy that he finally showed initiative.  Instead of sitting on the couch and blogging about Netflix shows, he was finally going to work for our household.  I was naive.  I didn’t think to ask him where he got the cash.

I loved Aaron.  He knew how to make me melt into his arms.  So he wooed me that night.  We made love right there in the living room.  I remember why I loved him again.  He was so attentive to me and my needs and made sure I knew I was loved.

Typically our love life doesn’t involve marathon sex, so I was surprised when he was still hard and ready to go after round 1.  So I continued pleasuring him and showing my gratitude.  I should’ve known something was up as his longer fingernails dug into my back.  That’s never happened before.  He usually kept his nails very short.  I was in a post-coital daze and I let a second round of sex happen.  This time I forgot to insist on a condom.

I was such a nervous wreck after he came.  Can you believe that he was ready to go again?  I was so nervous I faked being asleep to prevent round 3.

When I got up Tuesday morning, Aaron was wide awake and getting ready for his new job.  I missed seeing him this excited.  I gave him a very long kiss.  But I was still nervous about last night’s unprotected sex.  I can’t afford to get pregnant.  Figuratively, and financially.  I sat down at the table and worried about it.  Things will be fine I told myself.  Aaron has a job now.  We’ll get through this.

But worry became outright fear when Aaron came home deathly ill after work.  We didn’t even see each other all evening.  What was wrong with him?  I suggested he not go to work tomorrow.  I hoped he would do the responsible thing and see a doctor tomorrow.  If he dies from COVID, I don’t know what I’d do.

I had to work the following morning, so I didn’t even see Aaron for 24 hours.  When he came home Wednesday evening I was shocked.  He didn’t look like himself.

He was much shorter.  I was used to him towering over me.  Now he was my height.  His hair was very shaggy.  He looked very androgynous.

This is when he dropped a bombshell on me.  He took a gender transformation drug on Monday.  He’s been slowly transforming into a woman.

While I was relieved that he wasn’t dieing, I was so angry.  How could he do something like this?  We were in a serious relationship.  I was eager for him to one day propose.  Suddenly he decides he wants to be a woman.  He told me it was a mistake.  As if that’s supposed to make me feel better.  I later realized he was wearing my clothes all day.

Again he successfully wooed me.  He got me into bed that evening.  But it does take two to tango.  You see, I was rather curious about his body.  I noticed he had budding breasts.  He had a more feminine figure.  I was intrigued.  I started to play with his new breasts.  He reacted instantly and got more turned on.  Hearing him moan and react made me want more.  I wanted to suckle at it.  Unfortunately for both of us, he couldn’t maintain an erection.  He shrugged off my attempts to play with his boobs and his attempts at trying to continue to have sex with a limp dick started to physically hurt.  When I said it hurt, he stormed off out of the bedroom and to the living room couch.

I couldn’t take it anymore.  I was mad.  I was disappointed.  My boyfriend blew up our relationship.  I cried myself to sleep that night.

When I woke up Thursday morning, I resolved to go stay with my parents to sort this all out.  I went to check on him sleeping on the couch.

He was sleeping there, still naked from last night’s sex, with a throw blanket half covering him up.  

He closer resembled a woman now than he did last night.  I was mesmerized by his new body.  One of his breasts was exposed.  On it was a very pretty nipple.  Pinker than my own.  I had this urge to lick it and suck it.  Why was I thinking this?

He woke up to me staring at him.  I gave him the benefit of the doubt and helped him get ready for work.  I offered up some of my clothes for him to wear.  He seemed grateful.  

I couldn’t stop staring.  I was getting turned on by his transformation.  But I was angry with him.  Very angry with him.  When he came out of the shower, I helped him get dressed.  This is messed up.  I’m dressing my boyfriend up in my clothes.  I started tearing up.  I had to leave.  I knew my thoughts were betraying me.  I couldn’t let him woo me again.

That’s when I told him I was going to my parents and not coming back home.  It was the hardest decision I made.  I loved Aaron.  But this wasn’t Aaron anymore.  I don’t know who this was.  I was scared that I was having this strange reaction to this situation.  I had to get away.  I needed space.  I needed time to think.

So after he went to work, I packed a week's worth of clothes and left.

He texted me each night before he went to bed.  I didn’t respond.  I couldn’t.  I kept thinking that the Aaron I knew was gone.  And this imposter was trying to move into his place.

On Friday night, I was checking social media when I saw a post from Aaron.  In the picture staring back at me was a woman who looked a lot like Aaron’s sister Emily, and another girl.  A much younger girl. His caption was “Out on the town with my new friend Sierra.”  That’s not Emily - is that Aaron?  Who was this Sierra? Was I so easily replaced?

I was furious.  Aaron texted me again tonight.  I blocked him.

But I couldn’t stop thinking about that picture.  

Before all of this happened, I actually thought Aaron’s sister was quite attractive.  There’s been times where Emily invited us over to her family’s house.  I’ve caught myself staring at Emily.  Her legs.  Her ass. But usually I caught myself and forgot about it.  I’m straight.  I’m into Aaron.  I shouldn’t be attracted to women.

But this new Aaron.   This new Aaron is more attractive than Emily, and I couldn’t look away.  Maybe I’m actually Bi.  No. I’m straight.  I shouldn’t have these thoughts.

I’ve always avoided thinking about other women that way.  But the moment I saw Aaron with feminine features, it unlocked something in me.  Was it OK to be turned on by women?  What would it mean for my relationship with Aaron if I was bi?

I needed to confront this other woman.  

I tried to do a search on this ‘Sierra’ but I couldn’t find her anywhere.  Where would Aaron have met her so soon?  I could only think of one place.

On Sunday morning, I stormed into the grocery store looking for Sierra.  I asked around for Sierra, and nobody knew who I was talking about, except one teenage girl cashier.  She told me I wouldn’t find Sierra here, but knew someone who might know where to find her.  She picked up the intercom.  “Ben, please come by register 6.”

A teenage boy came by.  “Kathy?” he asked.

“Yes.  How do you know who I am?”

“I recognize you from Aaron’s social media accounts.  I’m his friend Ben.  What are you doing here? Aaron’s not working today.”

“I think he’s cheating on me with some bimbo named Sierra.”

The boy and cashier looked at each other and back at me.  “Kathy, let’s have a seat.” he said

He led me to a bench outside the store.  We both sat down.

“Aaron’s been trying to get in touch with you.” he said.

“I blocked him when I saw his picture Friday night.”

“Oh”  he said.  “Kathy.  You really need to talk to her.”

Her? “You know about that?”

“Yes.  I also know that she’s been pining for you since you left.”

“I.. I’m not ready to see or talk to him- to her.”

He lowered his head.  “That’s understandable,” he said.  “I imagine if I came out to my family they’d stop talking to me as well.”

Wait.  What?  “I don’t get what you’re trying to tell me… Ben.”

“Kathy”.  He took a deep breath.. “I’m Sierra.  I’m trans.  Erin has been a friend.  A very good friend.  Helping me through a very difficult time.  You have a great... boy.. friend.”

I was stunned.  I looked at his face.  I can see it.  The resemblance to the girl in that picture.

“You’re trans?  You’re not dating him?”

“No.  She’s been like a mentor.  In fact, I’m dating the cashier back there.  Erin helped set us up.”

“Erin?”

“Yes, Erin. That's what she's going by now but you really need to talk to her.”

“It’s hard.  I don’t know where to begin.”

“Start with... Hello.”  Ben smiled.  Then he laughed.

“What’s so funny?”

“It’s just that.  I had a hard time saying “hello”.  It was Erin who gave me that push.”

I thanked Ben for his time and went home.  I had much to consider.  Aaron has always been sweet and considerate.  I never really got other people’s perspective on the matter.  Hearing Ben talk so highly of him made me remember why I loved him.

On Sunday afternoon, I read Aaron’s- or rather- Erin’s blog post, “The Week I Became Erin.” 

He didn’t call me out by name, but he did say that “This week has been a mixed bag of emotions. Some friends and family have embraced the new me, and some have not.  I do miss them, but I will continue pushing forward.”

On Monday afternoon, I decided to finally call him.  I picked up my phone, I unblocked Aaron.. or rather Erin.  I called her.  

On the third ring she answered in an unfamiliar voice.  “Hello?  Kathy?”

“Hi Erin.” I said. “I’m ready to talk.”

Chapter 11 - What Comes After

TUESDAY

I woke up in the morning in our bed as a tangled mass of arms, legs and blankets. I looked over and was greeted by the most beautiful thing in the world- my girlfriend sleeping right next to me.

I extracted myself from the tangled mess on the bed trying not to wake Kathy up.  I took a shower, and got dressed into my work clothes.

After I let Speckles outside, I picked up all of our previous night’s clothes from the living room floor.  Picking them up made me remember last night again.  It put a huge smile on my face as I deposited the clothes in the nearby laundry basket.

I saw Sierra’s backpack sitting on the chair.  It was then I realized she didn’t come back last night.  She got dressed here before our respective date nights.  I totally forgot that she typically comes back to change out of her date attire before going home.  Hopefully she’s OK.

I stood against my height measurement again.  I didn’t shrink.  I saw Kathy coming out of the bedroom and she noticed I was measuring my height.

“So what’s your official measurements now?” Kathy asked, stretching as she walked down the hall.

“I’m 5’7”. 140lbs. 36 C.”

“Let me write that down.” she said grabbing a pen and paper.

“Why?”  I looked at her curiously.

“Just in case I find something cute to buy you.  Christmas is coming up.  I know your old shirt and pant sizes, but I doubt those fit anymore.”

I blushed at the thought of Kathy buying me women’s clothing. 

“What are your plans for today?”  I asked while letting Speckles back into the house.

“I need to stop back at my parents to get all of the stuff I left there.” she replied.  “I wasn’t actually planning on coming back here last night.”

I thought of asking what about last night convinced her to stay, but I decided to not probe her on it.  “I’m glad you did though.” I smiled. 

“So am I”  she said leaning in to kiss me.

I love kisses first thing in the morning.

“How about you?” she asked.

“My shift starts in a half hour.  I have just enough time to eat, make my lunch then head out.”

“Then have a great day” she said kissing me again.  She walked into the living room and stared out the front window.  “Hey babe, why is my potted plant turned upside down in the driveway?”

“The wind must’ve knocked it over.” I said, forgetting that I forgot to pick up that plant after my run-in with the men in black.

She shrugged her shoulders then picked up the laundry basket I left there and took it to the bedroom.

I made and ate my breakfast while Kathy got dressed.  I wrapped up a ham and cheese sandwich.  I found Kathy getting dressed in our bedroom, kissed her goodbye, got into my car and drove to work.

* * *

“So dish, girlfriend.” Darcy said to me from the next register over.  Neither of us had any customers in line at the moment.

I blushed as flashbacks of Kathy and I having sex last night went through my head and laughed at the memories we had.  “We went out for drinks, got back together, end of story.”

“That’s all?” she said.

“What else is there?”  I laughed.

“Ug.  I need to teach you how to have a girl talk.”

“I’m not much of a gossiper.”

“It’s not about gossip.  It’s about details.  Guys answer questions with one word answers.  Sup.  Yeah.  Sure.  No.  Dude.  Bro.  Whatever-”

“I get it. I get it.”  I said interrupting her.  “I’m just not ready to talk about my sex life with my co-workers.”

“Ohh - so there was sex involved?”

I blushed again realizing I just gave away details. “Darcy!”

“Don’t worry.” she said.  “I’ll respect your privacy and not ask details of that.  But she seemed nice.  I’m glad you guys worked it out.”

“How about you and Sierra?”  I asked.  “She didn’t come home last night.”

Darcy winked back at me.  “We went to a park and had a romantic picnic.  Don’t worry, she had a nice bed to sleep in last night.”

“Oh.”  I said, raising my eyebrows.  “Now who’s being secretive?”

Later on I saw Ben come in for his shift.  I noticed a hickey on his neck.  “Is that a hickey, Ben?”

“Shh” he said, turning red with embarrassment.

“It’s OK.”  I said.  “I’m just glad you’re safe.”

“Sorry, for not letting you know I wasn’t coming back last night”  he said.  “I should’ve texted you”

“It’s OK Ben.”  I replied.  “I’m not your father... I mean mother...  I mean... Nevermind.”

He laughed at that.  “You’re a good friend, Erin.  I’m going to stop by tonight and pick up my stuff I left there and hang up my clothes from last night.”

“Sure”  I replied. “You’re more than welcome.”

* * *

At lunch time I got a phone call from a number that I didn’t recognize.  

I answered. “Hello?”

“Hi, is this Aaron?” the person on the other end of the line asked.

I sighed.  It must be another telemarketer wanting to sell me on car warranties.  “No. Aaron no longer owns this phone number.” 

“Wait! Dr. Fry referred me to contact you.” he said.

Oh. This ought to be interesting.  “I’m listening.”  I replied.

“I’m Dr. Ken Powell, from Riverside Women’s Care, Dr. Fry is a personal friend of mine and he has told me of your unique condition.  I can fit you in tomorrow after hours if you’re available.”

“Wait. Who are you?  What are you?”

“Dr. Powell.  A Gynecologist.”

“Oh!”  I replied.  Emily gave me the name and number of her lady doctor for me to call.  I just hadn’t gotten around to it.  “I have been meaning to find one.  I wasn’t sure how to approach that issue.”

“I can fit you in tomorrow night at 6.”

“I can do that.”  I replied.  “Where are you located?” 

I wrote down the name of his practice and address.

“I look forward to seeing you.” Dr. Powell responded before hanging up.

Well, I guess I can check one item off that check list.  Now I just need to make appointments to change all of my IDs.

* * *

Later that night while Kathy and I were eating dinner, Sierra stopped by.  Kathy greeted her at the door.

“Hi - is it Ben or Sierra?” she asked.

“I haven’t come out to anyone but you, Erin and my... girlfriend.”  Sierra’s face lit up when she said “girlfriend.”  “So, you can call me Sierra, in private, or when we’re having a girls night.”

“Sounds good.”  Kathy said.  “Listen Sierra, I wanted to apologize for the other day.” 

“Oh you don’t have to.  I get it.”

“You know, Aaron never introduced me to any of his friends.   So I’m glad I get to meet Erin’s first friend.  So i’d love nothing more than to call you a friend too.”  Kathy gave Sierra a hug.

“Thank you.” Sierra said.  “I don’t have many friends either.  But I feel like my world is so much larger since Erin came into my life.”

I was just sitting there watching this.  I was touched.  I never thought I could make this much of a difference in people’s lives.

* * *

WEDNESDAY

I had Kathy drive me to women’s care practice.  It was in a medical park on the other side of the city. I didn’t quite trust whether this guy was legit or not. I guess you can say after the past week, I was a little more skeptical of signing up for random things. I did my due diligence when I got home last night.  I researched Dr. Powell’s practice.  I confirmed he indeed was a licenced Gynecologist and his Women's Care practice had a 4 star review on Facebook.  I had Kathy wait for me in the car anyway as I went into the building.  

I found the right suite number and walked in.  

A man in his 40’s was sitting in the waiting room.  “Aaron?” he asked, getting up to greet me.

“Yes, I’m Aaron.” I replied.

“I’m Dr. Ken Powell.” he said, holding out his hand for me to shake.  “I made this appointment after hours so that we could keep your actual condition a secret.”

“Thanks.”  I said, shaking his hand.  “I appreciate that.”

He handed me a clipboard and a pen  “Sorry.  Typically I’d have assistants to help me.  I sent them all home. I found it best to be discrete on the matter.  So it’s only me this evening.  Can you fill out this new patient form.”

“I haven't legally changed my name yet.”  I said.

“It doesn’t matter at this point . This first visit is on the house, as a favor to Dr. Fry.  If you chose to be a regular patient here, we’d need all of your legal paperwork and insurance.”

He left me alone for a few minutes.  I sat down in the empty waiting room and filled out the paperwork.  I put “Erin” as my first name.  Circled “F” for Female.  I added in my new height and weight.  I wrote “no” for Pregnant.  Last Period?  Um.  Never.  Lots of questions about women's medical issues that went over my head.  I checked ‘No’ to all of them.

I handed the clipboard back to Dr. Powell when he returned.

He glanced at it.  “Do you prefer me to address you as Aaron or Erin?”

“Erin is preferred.”  I replied.

“OK Erin, follow me” he said, leading me through the door and to a room. “Disrobe.  Here’s a hospital gown you can wear.  I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

I took off all of my clothes and put the medical gown on.

He came back and had me sit in the examination chair.   I sat down in the chair and put my legs in the stirrups.  How embarrassing.

“There’s no needles involved right?”  I asked.

“Not for this exam.”

“Good.  I hate needles”

He put on gloves and started poking and prodding into my vagina and cervix with his finger.  This felt uncomfortable and strange.  I now hate something more than needles. 

“So how did you get involved with Marcus?” he asked.  

“Marcus?”

“Dr. Fry.  I didn’t realize his research was anywhere near human trials just yet.”

I didn’t want to retell this story again.  Each time I do everyone laughs at me and calls me an idiot for not asking questions, not reading the fine print, or not noticing all of the red flags.  “I don’t really want to get into it.”

“Ok.”  he said, continuing his exam. “How long have you been like this?”

“I took the shot last Monday, I believe I stopped changing by Friday.”

“This is amazing.”  he said. 

“That’s what she said.”  I chuckled trying to find the humor in the situation.

“So perfect.  It’s as if you were born a woman.”  He looked at me and smiled.  

“Listen.  This is kinda creepy.  Can you get a female doctor here? I'm not used to a guy gazing in wonderment down there.”

“Sorry.  I’ll keep it clinical.  When Dr. Fry told me about his research and then about you, I was skeptical. I want to do an ultrasound to see what your reproductive organs look like.”

He rolled over a cart and rubbed petroleum jelly on the wand and slid it around my abdomen.  He watched the screen.

“Here’s your uterus.  Fallopian tubes.  Ovaries.  Amazing.  You have eggs. Wow.  Do you know what this means?”

“No.”

“You can get pregnant and bear children.”

“I uh.  Hadn’t considered that.”

“This also means that this drug Dr. Fry has been working on actually created ovaries and eggs.  This is a huge scientific breakthrough in itself.  The applications of this-”

“Yeah, that’s great and all.” I interrupted. “I’m still stuck on the getting pregnant part.  So I - a person who was male only 8 days ago, can get pregnant?  And give birth?”

“Outstanding isn’t it?  Granted you are 36. So any future pregnancy would be classified as risk.  But you look in great physical health, so there’s really no concerns there.  So since your reproductive system is almost a week old, you are in the midst of your first menstrual cycle.  That cycle will end in 3 weeks.”

“English please.  Remember I was a guy a week ago.”

“Your first period.  In or around 3 weeks.  Every woman is different.”

“Fuck.”  I said forgetting about that aspect of being a woman.

He handed me a pamphlet.  “We typically give this to teenage girls.  It talks about hygiene, what to expect during puberty, changes to your body, your menstrual cycle. I expect you’ll find good information in here.  You’re an adult so I don’t think I need to give you information on contraception and STDs.”

“Thanks”  I said with even less enthusiasm.  

Next he examined my breasts.  Then he gave me a whole lecture on breast cancer and checking myself on a regular basis.

This was information overload and now my head was starting to hurt. 

I was curious about Dr. Fry though.  If I could find him, I could either change back to Aaron, or at the very least get another drug for Sierra.

“So Dr. Powell”  I said.  “Have you talked to Dr. Fry recently?”

“I talked to him last Wednesday when he told me about you.  Sorry it’s taken me awhile to actually reach out to you.”

“I mean - his clinic.  It burned down last week.”

Dr. Powell stopped what he was doing for a second.  “Was anyone hurt?”

“I don’t know.  I haven’t been able to get in touch with him.”

“Well hopefully nobody was hurt.  I can give him a call on his personal cell phone later tonight.  Marcus is a good guy.  Brilliant.  We went to medical school together.”

I forced a smile.  I wish I knew where to begin to find Dr. Fry.

He left the room so I could get dressed again.  He gave me his business card and let me know that I could become a permanent patient there if I desired.  We parted ways and I returned to Kathy in her running car.

“How was it?”  she asked.

“That was embarrassing.”

“Yup.” she said nodding her head. “We can always find you another if you want.”

“I’d rather not repeat that again for a while.”

* * *

THURSDAY

It’s payday!  I’m so excited.  Finally.  A much needed influx of money.  We were back to eating ham and cheese sandwiches again for dinner.

Emily was coming by this evening to check on me to see how I was doing for the past few days.  I was excited to have her around again.

To celebrate payday we decided to go out to dinner.  It was originally just going to let it be me, Kathy and Emily, but Kathy really wanted to go out with the real Sierra.  So we decided to make it a girls evening out and invited Sierra and Darcy too.

Sierra came over ahead of time to get dressed.  She had on a cute sweater top and skinny jeans that Darcy lent her.  I helped her with her makeup as Kathy watched.  Kathy was amazed at how much I’ve learned. I was eager to show it off too. Emily sat back, taking pride in knowing that she taught me everything that I know.

I decided to go with a royal blue dress over black leggings.  I managed to fit my feet into one of Kathy’s old designer black boots.  They were a little tight, but I’ll deal with it for an evening.

We headed to the restaurant at the town center.  When we arrived, we asked for the available outdoor seating. It was starting to get cold out so they had a large party tent setup on their sidewalk that they were seating people at.

While we were waiting to be seated, the five of us went to the bar inside the restaurant.

“So I don’t know what to order.” Sierra said to me. “I’ve never been to a bar before.”

“I’m sure we can find some fun non-alcoholic drinks on the menu.” I replied to her.

The bartender came after questioning him on possible drinks, we ordered ourselves a Virgin Piña Colada for me, a Strawberry Margarita for Kathy, a Cadillac Margarita for Emily, Shirley temple for Sierra, and a Safe Sex on the Beach for Darcy.

I sat down on a barstool.  My feet were killing me from standing all day at the cash register.  I might need to look into better shoes for this job.

Emily came around and whispered into my ear. “Close your legs, girl.  You’re showing the world too much.”

I blushed out of embarrassment.  I wasn’t used to this at all.  I put my knees together and decided it was safer to just cross my legs.

The drinks came and we all clinked our glasses to payday and a girls night out.

“Oh, I needed that!” Emily said after taking a sip of her Margarita.

“Long week, Em?”  Kathy asked.

“Work’s been killing me lately.  Plus my son is going through a “I will not go to bed at a decent hour” phase.”

Everyone laughed at that.

I was on the end of our group when a guy came up to me.  “Hi. What’s the occasion?”

I looked at the guy interrupting our girls night out.  “Payday.”

“Oh.  Right on.  What do you do?”

Asking me what I do?  How cliche!  “Cashier at the grocery store down the street.”

“Nice.  I work for an advertising firm.  It’s payday for me too.  I’m just out with my buddies for one of our birthdays.”

“I see.”  I replied.  He kept smiling despite me giving him brisk answers.

“I was going to come over here and buy you a drink, but that was before one magically appeared in front of you.”

“Oh” I said.  Was this guy seriously hitting on me?

Just then, I felt Kathy’s arm go around me.  “She’s with me.”

“Oh my bad.” the guy said, promptly leaving.

“I hope I didn’t interrupt anything.” she said.

“I was just stunned.  I didn’t expect to get hit on.” I replied.

“Erin, you’ve been turning guys' heads ever since we got out of the car.” Emily said, taking a sip of her drink.

“I hadn’t noticed.”

Finally we were seated.  It was nice getting everyone together.  Kathy got along great with Sierra and Darcy.  She apologized for coming on too strong the day they all met.

I was sitting facing the street.  I saw an Amazon van stop at a traffic light.  It was a grayish blue color.  Not black.  Something wasn’t sitting right with me just then.  The van kept going when the traffic light turned green.

“Hey what color is an Amazon van?” I asked the ladies at the table.

“Blue.” Kathy said.

“Gray.” Darcy said.

“White.” Emily said.

“Dark blue.” Sierra said.

“Never black?” I asked.

“Well I guess if you weren’t looking close enough, and if it was parked in a shadow.” Darcy said.

“Seriously.” Emily said.  “I’ve only seen white delivery vans pull into my driveway.”

“Is this the latest “What color is the dress” thing people are posting on Facebook?” Kathy asked.

“Oh, not at all.” I replied.  “Just a passing thought”

After a nice filling dinner, we left the restaurant.  I didn’t eat all of my dinner.  In the week I’ve been a woman I’ve found my appetite has certainly shrunk.  

We were standing outside waiting for Sierra and Darcy to return from the ladies room when a guy brushed past me and smacked my ass.

I turned around.  “Hey dude, what the fuck!” I gave him a right cross to the face shaking my hand after I hit him.

“Erin!” Emily said.

“Bitch” the guy said, walking away holding his nose. "Yeah keep walking asshole" I said watching him walk away.

“What? He had it coming.  He slapped my ass!”

“You’re not a guy, you just can’t go around punching people.”

“Well, guys shouldn’t go around touching what doesn’t belong to them.”

She chuckled.  “I’m sorry Erin.  Don’t change.  Every guy should try being a woman for a week.”

We all got a good laugh.  Although maybe I really should work on some anger management.

* * *

We all returned to our house and sat on the couch listening to music sipping various teas and coffees.  

Emily patted me on my knee.  “Your legs again.”

“Ug.” I said.  “I’m in my own home and on my own couch.”

“We’re going to need to work on all your mannerisms.”

“How so?”  I said.

“You hold yourself like a guy.  You sit like a guy.  You walk like a guy.” She laughed.

“Hey. I’m doing the best I can”  I said laughing with her as I crossed my legs again.

“Watch this.” Kathy said getting up, and slowly walked sexy across the room like a runway model.

“Oh. Can I try?” Sierra said.  She got up and tried to imitate Kathy’s walk.

“Move your hips a little more.”  Darcy suggested. “Take smaller steps”

Sierra adjusted and walked back the other way.

“That’s hot!” Emily said.  “Erin your turn.”

“Ok.”  I said.  “I’m not a natural!”  I walked across the living room.

“Look at that ass!”  Kathy said smacking it.

“Careful Kathy, she might punch you.” Darcy laughed.

I laughed with them and just shook my head.

“Smaller steps. Don’t be in such a rush.” Emily added.

I did my sexy walk back the other way.

“See you ARE a natural!” Kathy said.

“Of course she’s a natural.  Look at those hips!”  Sierra said.

Darcy put her arm around Sierra.  “You don’t need hips to be cute and sexy.”

Sierra blushed.

I laughed and smiled.  I was having a good time with my friends.  It’s been such a long time since I felt like this.  

* * *

FRIDAY

At work it was a busy day.  It felt like everyone and their mothers were out preparing for a Thanksgiving Day under quarantine.  Why they were still buying full Thanksgiving spreads for 20 people, I don’t know.

My line at the register was quite long because I’m slow at it.  Darcy’s line was considerably faster.  So when a man with only one item in his hand got at the end of my line I said “Sir, you can go to lane 9.  It’s shorter.”

“I’ll stay in this one.”  he said.

I shrugged.  I was only trying to help.

Eventually it was this man’s turn, so I took his single item, a pre-packaged cold sub, and scanned it.  I noticed him looking at me.  Was he checking me out?  Now.  He had this look of curiosity.

“Five Twenty Nine.”  I said.

He gave me a 10 dollar bill and I gave him the change back and his receipt. “Thank you for shopping with us.” I said.

He walked away still looking at me.  Weird.

* * *

It was a very warm November day so I decided to eat my lunch outside the grocery store on a bench.  I sat back in my seat and took a bite of my sandwich when I saw it there.  A black van at the far edge of the parking lot.  Black. Not blue or white or gray. No markings.

I put my sandwich down and started walking through the parking lot to this van.

I didn’t see anyone in the driver’s or passenger’s seat.  I walked around the van looking for any signs or markings.  I’m sure of it.  This is the van I’ve been seeing.

Suddenly the door slid open and an arm grabbed me and pulled me inside.

Chapter 12 - Surprises

I got pulled into the van by a very strong arm.  It was dark in the back of this windowless van.  I looked around and saw him.

“Erin you have to stop calling attention to us.” the male voice said.

I turned to him.  It was the man who was staring at me in the checkout line.

“What do you want?” I asked.  “Who are you?”

“Dr. Ara.  We’ve met before.”

“I never met you.  I don’t recognize you.”

“I’m from the clinic.  I gave you the paperwork to sign.  I gave you the money.  I hope you spent it wisely.”

“Um.  That was a woman.”

“Yeah and you were a man back then too.  You’re just lucky I’m no longer contagious.”

“So why are you watching me?  Why are you following me?  Wait?  Contagious?”

“Without the clinic, we have to keep an eye on you.  Ideally we’d be giving you a bi-weekly checkup, but since the fire we had to go incognito.”

“I have so many questions.  Where’s Dr. Fry?  Who caused the fire?  Who are the men in black who assaulted me?  You didn’t answer me about being contagious.  The men in black were checking to see if I was contagious too.”

“Two words.” he said.  “Plausible deniability.”

“-The fuck does that mean?”

“It means I’m not going to tell you.  In case that organization- your men in black- come back looking for answers.”

“But who are they?  Are they the government? The police?  Tax collectors?”

“No.  Another group who wants the drug for themselves.”

“Wonderful,” I said.

“Erin, if you stay away from us, and stay away from them, you’ll be fine.”

“Why did you come into the store then?”

“I was hungry.” he said, holding up his half eaten sandwich. “Besides I couldn’t resist seeing you up close.  To see how you’ve adapted after only 10 days.”

“I never told you that my new name was Erin.  How did you know that?”

“We found your blog and your Instagram” he said.  “Plus it’s on your name tag.”  I looked down at my grocery store name tag and turned red.  “I should also mention that you should refrain from saying how you transitioned so easily.”

“Yeah, I already decided I wasn’t going to mention that.”

“It’s been a week and a half since you first came to us.  Your transformation appears to be over.  Mine seems to have stopped a few days ago too.  So you can live a normal life from here on out.  And likely we’re going to stop checking on you shortly.  It would be wise to continue seeing Dr. Powell. This way you don’t have to answer any tricky questions about switching genders on a genetic level.”

“How did you know about that? About Dr. Powell”

“We set it up for you.”

“I also recall asking Dr. Fry not to.”

“Well, we needed to keep tabs on you.  Dr. Powell being close with Dr. Fry helps.  He gave Dr. Fry some great information about you.”

“What about doctor patient confidentiality… Wait.  Dr. Fry is still around?  You guys are seriously the worst clinic ever.  I bet you burned down your own building too.”

“I’ve already said too much.  Way too much.  Time to go. Now get out of here and don’t try to contact us again.”

“Wait, I have a friend who is transgender.  Can I get the drug for her?  Tell Dr. Fry I’d really like to see him.”

“No.”

“You said some people are contagious-”

“I said no”

“But-”

“If you don’t interfere with us, we won’t interfere with you.  The other organization won’t interfere with you if you don’t have any information.  Just live your life as Erin.  Don’t try to find us.  We’ll find you if we need you.”

“Wait.  But what about my $1000?”

“Oh my god!”  he yelled.  “I am dealing with a complete idiot.  I’m trying to have a rational conversation with someone who didn’t read the forms I gave him to sign.  You're lucky for the first thousand.  That was my idea by the way.  So you’re welcome.”

“I’m the idiot?  I’ve dealt with cable tv companies with more professionalism than your clinic!  Dr. Pepper is a better doctor than you!”

With that he threw me out of the van and shut the door.  Then the van started it’s engine.

“Dick”  I said watching the van drive away.

* * *

My lunch break was almost over so I sought out Ben.  I found him in the break room with Darcy.  

I sat down with the two of them.

“Ben, can I see you in private?”  I said.

“Sure, Erin.” Ben got up and we both walked out of earshot of everyone else.  “What’s up?”

“So, I had an encounter with the people from the clinic who gave me the drug.  I tried so hard to get some for you, but they want nothing to do with me anymore.  I’m so sorry.”

“It’s OK Erin.” Ben said, putting his hand on my shoulder.  “Two weeks ago I used to cry myself to sleep wishing and hoping something magical would happen to turn me into a girl.”  He paused for a moment.  “But that hasn’t happened since I’ve met you.”

“But-”

“Erin, for the first time in a long time, I have friends who truly care about me.  Do I still wish I was a real woman?  Absolutely.  I still dream about it every night.  But what you and Darcy have given me - allowing me to be myself…”  Tears were rolling down his cheeks.

“You will always be Sierra to me.  Even if you’re dressed as Ben.”  

He giggled and wiped the tears. “One day.”  he said  “Maybe I’ll join you in taking that drug.  For now, I’ll take the hard road - because I have friends who will walk it with me.  When I’m ready.  I’ll talk to my parents.  It will be sooner now that I have friends supporting me.”

"I'll gladly walk that road with you, Sierra.  If your parents won't support or accept you just know you have a loving girlfriend and an older adoptive sister who loves you and will always support you."  I smiled and hugged her.

* * *

TWO WEEKS LATER

It's been 3 weeks since I became Erin.  I formally changed all of my ID’s.  I settled on Alexis as a middle name.  Erin Alexis.  I thought it had a nice ring to it.

Kathy’s continued to help me adapt to my new life as Erin.  She continued the training that Emily started.  Helping me with my mannerisms, makeup, hair, and my general style.  I in turn passed this knowledge to Sierra.

Last week, she took me to get my ears pierced.  I didn’t want to of course.  Needles.  I hate needles.  But my girlfriend insisted and she promised to make it worth my while.  After resisting it all day, I finally got them pierced.  It didn’t hurt, but I wasn’t going to admit defeat that easily, as I wanted to see what Kathy had in mind for payment.  

When I asked her to pay up that night she surprised me by coming out of the bedroom with nothing but a strap-on.  My eyes got wide and I said.  “Oh Fuck, me!”

“I’m going to.”  was her reply.

I’m not going to admit that it’s become my new favorite toy. But anyway…

Since it’s cold outside now, I’ve been wearing lots of sweaters and leggings.  A part of me is certainly excited to see what we come up with when the warmer seasons come back.  Kathy wants to put me in a string bikini when summer comes back around.  I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet - or ever.  I have to keep reminding her that I’m 36 going on 37.

Work has been good.  Sometimes it’s been busy.  Sometimes it's been slow.  Around the holidays it’s been crazy!  But, I’ve gotten better at it and have even started memorizing the produce codes.

Oh, most importantly-  another payday came around!

Kathy has returned to working full time again.  So money isn’t nearly as tight as it used to be.  We have a little more expendable income.

Our friendship with Sierra and Darcy has continued to grow.  We actually have a whole closet dedicated to Sierra now.  We’re not pressuring her to come out to her family, although she does apologize about taking up closet space and that she’s close to coming out.  We tell her not to rush it, and she’d know when the time is right.  Having her around so much almost feels like having a younger sister.  My family was only me and Emily.  I never had a younger sibling.

Not everything was sunshine and rainbows though.  Since the holidays were quickly approaching.  I decided to reach out to friends and family to see what they were doing and catch up with them.  Some of whom I haven’t talked to in months.  I wasn’t able to get any calls or messages back.  I complained about this to Emily over the phone and she promised to find out what’s going on.

When I got a call back from Emily, she sounded like she was crying.

"What's wrong Em?" I asked.

“I’m so sorry Erin.” she said.  “They’re transphobic.  They aren’t ready to accept you yet. I tried talking to them but they just wouldn't listen to me and some were very rude.”

“Oh.”  I replied discouraged.  “I kinda figured as much.”  Hearing this really hurt.  I was getting so much positive encouragement from the people who are active in my life.  It didn't occur to me that the people who weren’t active in my life were active on purpose.

“I hate that they’re acting this way.  I yelled at them.” she said.

“Em, you don’t have to fight my fights.  Yeah, they suck.  Hopefully they’ll come around.” I got emotional as a tear rolled down my cheek.

“It’s just embarrassing to hear that kind of filth come from a family member’s mouth.” she added.

“I know.  While I made a quick decision on coming out, I knew there might be consequences.  I know this might be one.”

“You’re taking this surprisingly well”

“It’s because I have a great supportive sister, a great supportive girlfriend.  And some new supportive friends.” 

I heard Emily chuckle on the phone.  “Erin, Why don’t you come here for Christmas.  You and Kathy.  My family and I would love to see you both.”

“I dunno Em.  I was thinking of just staying home for Christmas.  WIth the COVID numbers so high, I thought it would be safer to stay at home.”

“Just don’t be alone.” she said.  “Maybe you can see what Sierra and her girlfriend are doing.”

“I will.” I assured her. 

“If you need any Christmas gift ideas for Kathy, I have a few ideas” Emily offered.

“I have a few ideas of my own.  Wanna hear them?”

“Oh?  Do tell.” she replied.

* * *

We were all sitting in the living room in cute pajamas.  Kathy got us matching plaid ones.  “Here We Come a-Caroling” was playing on my speakers.  I was sitting on the couch with my legs tucked in front of me with my hair tied back in a ponytail.  Sierra was leaning up against Darcy who had her arms wrapped around her girlfriend.  Kathy was grabbing presents out from under the Christmas tree. 

Kathy slid two gifts to Darcy and Sierra.  She slid one to me. She glanced back at me.  The reflection of the Christmas lights were sparkling in her eyes.  She was beautiful.  I’m a lucky girl to have her.

Sierra and Darcy opened up the gifts from themselves.  Sierra got a beautiful silk dress.  Darcy got a matching knit hat and gloves.

I opened my box from Kathy.  It was a sterling silver necklace with a gold pendant that had the name “Erin” on it.  

“Thank you, babe.”  I said holding up the necklace and trying it on.  

“Here’s some more,” Kathy said, sliding a few more boxes over.  

Inside was more leggings and a new dress. “Very pretty.”  I said, holding the dress up.

The next was a small box.  I opened it up and in it was a pair of pearl earrings.  “My first real pair of earrings.”  Despite wearing “cheapo” earrings since my piercing last week, this gift brought a tear to my eye.  I’m not sure why.  Maybe this was when it really sunk in that I’m a woman.

The last box was lighter.  I pulled the wrapping paper off and inside was a very skimpy yellow and pink bikini.  I picked it up and held it up.  “Um.  What’s this for?”

“It’s a bikini, babe.  I know it’s winter right now, but I figure maybe we can get away, maybe find a nice heated pool or jacuzzi”

I blushed.  That bikini is way too revealing for me.  I swallowed and slid my gift to Kathy to her. I put the skimpy bikini back in the box and out of my mind.  It’s game time.  I slid a few boxes to Kathy.

She opened the first box to find a few pairs of leggings, then a bottle of Lady Stetson, then finally a pair of earrings.  “Very nice Erin.  Thank you!” 

“You’re welcome, babe.  This large box is also from me.”  I said to her as I slid her the last present.

Kathy pulled the present closer to her and tore the wrapping paper off the box.  “Oh look.  It’s a box from your grocery store... a case of apples?”

“Erin, you didn’t get her a case of apples did you?” Sierra said laughing.

“No.” I replied laughing.  “I just know where to find an abundance of empty cardboard boxes.”

Kathy chuckled and opened the box to find- another wrapped box.  “Another box?”

Darcy laughed.  “Erin, you’re mean.”

I giggled, knowing what was in the box. "What? I couldn't resist." I giggled harder

"Just be glad I love you babe." Kathy said, as she tore off the wrapping paper.  “Oh look! A cardboard box of coffee.”  she laughed.  She opened that box and inside it was filled with rose petals.  “A box of rose petals?”  She dug around in the petals and pulled out an envelope.  “An envelope?”  She opened the envelope and pulled out a handwritten letter.

“Read it!”  Sierra cheered.

Kathy opened up the letter and was about to read it when she noticed Sierra and Darcy with their phones up taking pictures of her.  “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” Darcy said.  “Read it!”

Kathy cleared her throat and read. 

“Dear Kathy.  When we got together 3 years ago I didn't think we'd still be together but after these past 3 years being with you, we have had one wild ride after another.  Even now, it's still a wild ride after all we've been through.  I'm glad that you and I are still together.  I can’t imagine being on this ride with anyone else by you. Someday I hope to spend the rest of my life with you.  Love Erin.”  

She wiped a tear from her eye, chuckled and turned back to me.  “For a moment I thought that you were about to-”

When she turned around to talk to me, she saw me on one knee holding up a diamond princess cut engagement ring.  She stopped talking mid sentence, stunned.

“Kathy, will you make me the happiest woman in the world and be my wife?” I said.

She looked down at the ring with her mouth agape and tears rolling down her cheeks. “Yes!” she said, hugging me. “I love you, Erin.”

“I love you Kathy”

Sierra and Darcy cheered and hugged us both.

“Erin.” she said letting go of my embrace.  “I have a little something else for you.  I was waiting for the right time, but now seems like the best time.”

“What is it, babe?”

“Actually” she said.  “It’s something Aaron left us.”  

Aaron?  But I’m Aaron.. or rather I was.

Kathy softly held her lower abdomen and looked up at me smiling.

It was my turn to be stunned.

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Yes.  We’re pregnant!”

I hugged Kathy and kissed her.  “This is the best Christmas ever.”

Just then I got a text message.  It was from Emily.  “Did you do it yet?”

I replied.  “Yup. She said YES!”

Seconds later she called.  “Congratulations!  I’m so happy for you!”

“Thanks” I replied.

“Put my future sister-in-law on the phone!” she said before I got a chance to tell her the other news.

"Ok hang on she's right here." I handed my phone to Kathy and I heard her tell her Congrats.

“Thank you!”  Kathy replied

“Treat my sister well!”  I heard Emily say.

“I will”  Kathy then turned to me.  “Want me to tell her?”

“Sure, go ahead”  I said smiling.

“Em, we have another surprise.”  A pause.  “I’m pregnant.”

I could hear Emily’s excited squeal on the other end of the phone as Kathy had to pull the phone away from her ear.

I laughed.  “I guess she’s excited.”

* * *

A WEEK LATER

My panties. Fold. Her panties. Fold. My skirt. Fold. More panties. Inside-out. Fold. Her bra. Hang up. My bra. Hang up. Sports bra. Fold. More panties. Fold.  

I placed all of the folded laundry into the basket and returned to our bedroom where I proceeded to put everything in dresser drawers when I heard a knock at the door and Speckles barking.

I walked back into the living room and saw through the storm door, a delivery woman on the porch with a box in her hand.

Speckles continued to bark.

"It's OK girl, it's just a delivery girl.” I said to Speckles.  I turned to the door.  “You can just set it down.”  I said to the delivery woman through the glass door.

“I need a signature.”  the delivery woman said.

I grabbed a mask that was hanging up, put it on and opened the door. 

The delivery woman handed me a tablet and stylus and I signed my name.  She handed me the box and said. “Have a good day.” she said. "Thank you, you too." I said to her.

It was addressed to Aaron.  “What could this be?” I said to myself as I hung my mask back up.

I took the box into the kitchen and opened it up with a knife.  On the top was a handwritten letter.

“Aaron, I’m so sorry this happened to you.  The experiment was a complete disaster, so I had to go into hiding.  Please accept this as a token of my gratitude for being our first successful human test subject. - Dr. Fry”

This is great.  This proves Dr. Fry is alive.  If I can somehow find him, then maybe I can get the drug for Sierra.  I examined both sides of the paper.  He didn’t leave any contact information on this note.  Damn.  I then examined what else was in the box.

In a plastic case was a vial with a packaged sterile needle.  The label on the case read “1340-B.  FtM.”

“1340?”  Why 1340?  What does the B mean?  I gather “FtM” must mean “Female to Male.” I gasped at the implications of this drug in my hand.  I can turn back to Aaron.

I put the letter and vial back into the box.  As I did I caught a glimpse of the ring on my left hand.  My engagement ring.  The day after I proposed to Kathy, she thought it would be fun to get me an engagement ring too.  I said we couldn’t really afford it, but she wasn’t having any of it.  Especially after she got jealous that guys were hitting on me.  We went to the mall and picked out my own ring together.  After it was sized and cleaned, Kathy got down on one knee and proposed to me right in the store.  It was a cute and touching gesture.  I actually teared up because I never imagined that I’d be getting proposed to as well.

Just as being proposed to wasn’t in my plans, turning back to Aaron wasn’t in my plans either.   All I wanted those first few days during my transformation into Erin was to turn back to Aaron.  But now...

Kathy came into the kitchen and put her arms around me, kissing my neck.

“How is my beautiful fiance today?”  she whispered into my ear as she lightly nibbled on it.

“Good. But even better now that you're here”  I said back to her, closing my eyes and placing my arms on top of hers.

She let go of me and pinched my butt making me moan softly and continued to make her breakfast.  “What’s in the box?”  she asked.

“Extra printer ink”  I said.  “Be right back.”

I walked outside to the outdoor trash container. I opened the lid and tossed the box into it. 

When I returned to the kitchen, I hugged Kathy from behind, holding her not-yet-showing belly.  “Have I mentioned that I love you, Kathy?”

“Not today” she giggled.

“I love you.” I kissed her cheek.  

“I love you, too Erin.” She turned around and kissed me.

My life is perfect.  I don’t want to change a thing.

Chapter 13 - Epilogue

FIVE WEEKS EARLIER

As an angry, androgynous Aaron walked out of the clinic Wednesday evening, a man passed him and walked into the waiting room of the clinic and to the empty receptionist window.  He was wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants a few sizes too small.  His long hair was pulled up in a ponytail.  He had a week old facial hair.  He knocked on the window trying to see someone in the office.  “I see you in there, Dr. Ara.” he said.

Dr. Ara came to the window.  “You’re not supposed to be here.”

“I have to see Dr. Fry.” he said, frantically.

Dr. Ara sighed and walked around to open the door.  “We can’t have you walking around freely in the hall, so please go to room one.”

“Fine.” he said, walking down the hall to room one and shutting the door behind him.

The man paced back and forth in the room.  He noticed his degree on the wall.  It was crooked.  He straightened it and looked at it. He reminisced about the life he used to have.  “Dr. Laura Silva.” the degree said.

It’s been two weeks but being Laura seemed like such a distant memory.  Dr. Laura Silva had been a leading geneticist.  She was working on genetic gender mutation with her partner Dr. Marcus Fry.  They needed more money to begin human trials.  So she gave a brilliant presentation to their sponsors.  They dismissed her work because she was a woman.

She was angry, upset, and vowed to continue on with her work. In a momentary lapse of judgement, she tested the drug on herself.  Within a day she started growing hair all over her legs.  By day 3 her D cup breasts had shrunk to nothing.  By day 4 she had a functioning dick.

The new male Dr. Silva attempted to use his transformation to his advantage.  Instead of getting excited and giving the group money, their sponsors had instead threatened to shut them down.  

Realizing his mistake, Dr. Silva then changed course.  In order to save their careers, they needed  to create the inverse drug.  All of that stopped when an irresponsible lab-tech came in with COVID19.  Of course, Dr. Silva tested positive and then came down with COVID himself.  He was forced to walk away from his work and self-quarantine.

There was a knock on the door and Dr. Fry walked in.  

“Laura, what are you doing here?” he said, in a concerned tone.

“Are you any closer to the inverse drug?” Dr. Silva replied.  “I’m getting stir crazy.  I should be here helping you, not sitting at home.”

“I’m almost there.”  He said.    “But you have to stay away.  You’re still contagious.  The more you leave the house the more you expose everyone else here to COVID.  If we’re all sick, the inverse drug will take longer.”

Dr. Silva put his hand over his mask and coughed into it.  “It’s uncomfortable.”

“What is?”

“Having a dick between my legs, Marcus.” he said.  “Do you really want your girlfriend to have a dick?”

“Dammit, Laura.  Not here.  People will hear.”

“Yeah, yeah.  You don’t want your affair with me getting back to your wife.”

Dr. Fry let out an exasperated sigh. “I’ve been testing the Male to Female drug this week.  The guy testing it for us is responding very well to the drug.”

“Good.” Dr. Silva said, crossing his arms and slouching over.  “I should never have tested the drug on myself.  I was angry. I didn’t think this through.”

“Don’t beat yourself up over it.  What’s done is done.  We’ll fix this.”

“Can the MtF drug work on top of the FtM drug?  Have you tried that yet?”

“Not yet.  Subject #2 only got the MtF version.”

“Subject #2? Is that what you’re calling him?”

“Yes.  His real name is Aaron, he simply walked up to us, and volunteered to do whatever we wanted in exchange for money.  He didn’t even read any of the legal documents we gave him.”

“Yeah, great.  Does that imply I’m Subject #1?”

Dr. Fry didn’t answer that.  “I haven’t tried putting the two versions of the drug on top of each other.  When Subject #2 is done with his transformation, I’ll bring him- or rather her- back and try the original drug on her to see if changes will happen in the reverse.  From what I know of the drug so far, I assume putting one on top of the other won't work.  I need a separate concoction that will neutralize the first drug.  I’ll have to create a 1350-B that will neutralize 1340 before 1350 can take effect.”

Dr. Silva sighed.

“When that happens, I’ll let you know.  Or when you finally get over this virus and test negative you can come back to work.  Whatever comes first.  Until then-”  Dr. Fry grabbed Dr. Silva’s hand and held it.  He looked into his eyes. Dr. Fry felt uncomfortable looking into another man’s eyes, but this was Laura under all of that scruff.  “Laura, you need to stop coming in and exposing us.  We’ll fix this.”

“Fine.” he said, getting up.

“Laura.”  Dr. Fry said.  “Who are those guys in suits who keep showing up? And asking for you?”

Dr. Silva sighed.  “When our sponsors threatened to kill our funding, I… I sought out another potential source of funding.  I haven’t told them that the deal is off.”

“Who are they?”

“I don’t really know.  They contacted me.  Offered billions in funding.  Now they won’t leave me alone.”

Dr Fry put his head into his hands, as Dr. Silva left the room.

On his way out Dr. Silva passed by a mirror.  He cringed.  Seeing his reflection was painful.  In the mirror was a reflection of a man she hated.  “This is not me.” he said to himself.  When Laura transformed into a man, his face started showing features of Laura’s father.  The deadbeat who used to beat her and her mother and left them when Laura was 6.  Dr. Silva hated his new reflection.  He hated looking like that man.

He continued walking and stopped at the door.  He looked behind him to see if he was being followed or if anyone could see him..  “I can’t wait.  I can’t stand seeing that reflection anymore.”  Dr. Silva said to himself.  He poked his head around the corner to see the hallway.  Then he quickly snuck into the lab that held all of the drug samples.

He opened the refrigerated vault and looked at the labels.  1340 was the original Female to Male drug that he took originally.  1350 was the new Male to Female drug Dr. Fry was working on.  He found a vial of 1350 and pulled it out of the vault and closed it.  

He opened a drawer and pulled out a clean needle.  He extracted the drug from the vial into the needle.  He rolled up his sleeve and injected himself with the drug.

“Hopefully this drug works on top of the original drug.” he said to himself, wiping his puncture wound clean.

He rolled down his sleeve and cleaned up his mess.  He suddenly got dizzy and braced himself against a table.  

What Dr. Silva didn’t know was, the two drugs reacted to each other inside his body.  The combined drug then reacted with the nearest viral carrier - the COVID19 virus.  The virus quickly replicated inside his body and continued down the bloodstream.  

When he was OK to move he snuck down the hall and back to the main lobby door. 

Before he reached for the handle, he had to cough.  He coughed into the mask.  But he kept coughing.  It was getting harder to breathe so he pulled the mask off and coughed in his hand a few times.  He couldn’t catch his breath.  

Dr. Ara came down the hall to see who was coughing.  “Dr. Silva” she said, rushing to her side as Dr. Silva accidentally coughed into Dr. Ara’s face.  “I need help over here.” she yelled.

Dr. Fry came down the hall and saw Dr. Ara holding Dr. Silva who was coughing.  “What happened?  What did you do?”

Dr. Silva stopped coughing long enough to say “I took 1350.”

“Shit.  That wasn’t ready for you!”  he yelled running back to the lab and grabbing an empty needle.  He came back. “I need to test your blood now.” He stuck it into Dr. Silva and took some blood.  “Dr. Ara, isolate her to another room.  Stay with her.”

Dr. Fry went down the hall to other labs where assistants were working.  “Go home now.” he told them.  “We possibly have a contamination issue.” He then went back to the lab and examined the blood he just took. 

* * *

An hour later his eyes hurt as he re-read the analytics he came up with.  He slammed the desk.  He then took some of his own blood and examined that quickly and came to the same conclusion.

He put his head in his palms and exhaled.  He then picked up the phone.  “I have a contamination problem here.  Drugs 1340 and 1350 have become contagious.”   “How many?  Potentially 10.  Definitely 3.  Myself and two other doctors.”  “No.  We can’t abort.  We’re so close to finishing this.”  “No.  You can’t shut us down.”  “Please reconsider.”

Dr. Fry slammed the phone down.  He was angry.  This was his and Dr. Silva’s life's work.  He couldn’t let the research stop.  He didn’t trust Dr. Silva’s mysterious buyers.

He got a bag and started putting all of his work into it.  He grabbed several vials of 1340 and 1350.  When he was all packed, he lit a bunsen burner and tossed it off the desk into a trash can. He started piling paper and rags on top of the now burning trash can.  He then left the room and raced down the hall.

He poked his head into the room where Dr. Silva and Dr. Ara were at.  Dr. Silva seemed to stop coughing and was a little more calm. “You both need to go.” Dr. Fry said.  “Quarantine yourself. We’re all contagious. But you have to leave here - now!  Dr. Ara, keep tabs on Subject #2.  We’ll be in touch.”

Dr. Fry left the room as smoke started filling the hallway, and  snuck out of the back door carrying his bag of vials and his notes.  In the darkness he ran to his car.  He turned around and started to see smoke billowing from a few windows of the building.  He got in, started it and turned on his headlights.  

Through the dashboard light he looked down at his hand on the steering wheel.  His nails were considerably longer than they were hours ago.  He wondered if this is how it started with Aaron.

He sat in his car and watched as both Dr. Ara and Dr. Silva departed the building and got into their own cars.

He decided he needed to go into hiding.  To quarantine himself.  And to save his life’s work.  

As Dr. Fry drove out of the parking lot, the fire got into the gas line and the building exploded.

Author's Notes and Acknowledgements

* First of all, I want to thank dgenerateone for suggesting the concept and main characters for this story.  The characters of Aaron, Kathy, and Speckles are his.  It was his request to have a “Slow Transformation of Aaron into Erin'' story. He also provided much needed proofreading of my initial drafts.

* Thank you to my second proofreader - mynameischloe who graciously let me throw ideas at her to see what worked.

* As with my previous story, I want to thank all of the reviewers who engaged me throughout the writing of this story.  Comments and feedback keep me excited about writing for everyone!  

TGStorytime: arcticcell, Roadbandit, Lailaluvs00, Amanda Lynn, tomy1111, and Day Dreamer.

FictionMana: Dontrust, Prinvcevoodoo, Rtid, Tfes Fan, Sarah113, Amy, LoriMarie, pick, jane, and Kelsanne.

DeviantArt: dflinus, JoeJedfJsj, jankar89, and Pixelgyum

* So. It’s over.  You know what they say, “Leave them wanting more.”  Well, gaging by the responses I’ve gotten, everyone seems to want more Erin!  While Erin’s week of transformation is over, her journey isn’t.  But that’s for another story and another time. This was a story about Erin and Kathy, so I wanted to focus on them and not on the bigger world.  I also made sure I had enough closure here, and enough thought-provoking loose threads that could lead to sequels and/or spinoffs.  In the future we could certainly see a continuation of Erin and Kathy’s story.  Maybe even a spinoff featuring Sierra and Darcy.  Or maybe even a spin-off featuring the result of the now viral and contagious drug.  We’ll see where the creative winds take me.

* Shameless Plug:  If you enjoyed this story, maybe you want to check out my previous story, Second Chances.  A 37 year old guy time travels to his own past to correct a mistake but he must do it as a 17 year old girl in high school.  That one is 30 chapters long.

* What’s next?  I’m going to take a little bit of a break from writing to make my own story website.  I’m a software developer first, writing is a new hobby for me.  I created a Discord Server (https://discord.gg/7c79Fm2aAj) for fans of my two stories to reach out to me.  If you have suggestions for a new story, or suggestions for the sequel or spin-off. Or you want to talk about software development.

Thank you again for reading!  You’ve all been great!

~Emily (aka tfes8)