Chapter 5 - Jasmine Part 2

The next day, Lauren asked me what happened and I just dismissed it as, “I had to leave.” She seemed to genuinely like those people. But they just weren’t my type. I was too embarrassed to talk about the Aiden incident to anyone. Lauren seemed sad that I wasn’t excited nor that I wanted to pledge to her sorority. Thankfully, she dropped the conversation.

In the afternoon I met up with the rest of the Guild for our study group. It was good to see everyone again. It felt like I was part of a group, and they genuinely cared for me. When each person saw me, they all lit up like they were seeing their best friend. Was it because I’m Jasmine or because I’m D?

“How are things going, D?” Antonio asked me. “How’s life as Jasmine?”

“It's um… eye opening,” I admitted. 

“Are you having any problems? Friends? Family? Classwork?”

“I-,” I started to speak, then froze. I wanted to mention Aiden. If anyone would be able to help me through those emotions, it would be the Guild members. But, I just couldn’t bring myself to talk about it. What would they think? D’s first night alone as a woman and he gets sexually harassed? I felt awful just thinking that.

Just then, Sydney walked in. “Oh, my God, girl,” she interrupted us. “That outfit is so cute on you.”

“Thank you,” I blushed. Today, I was wearing a white blouse and jean shorts over a pair of dark tights. “Pinterest,” I explained. 

“Keep up the good work, girl,” she smiled and took a seat.

 I turned my attention back to Antonio. There was something I was having a problem with. Before Aiden. “I’m having problems with classwork.”

“Well, that’s why we’re here today.” He put his own backpack on the table. “And yes - I agree with Syd - you’re a natural.” He then looked up at the rest of the study room. “OK, everyone, let's get to studying. Raise your hand if you need help with a subject.”

I raised my hand. I was the only one, which made me shrink in my seat.

“Jasmine,” Antonio said. “Please don’t feel embarrassed. It’s your first week. Which class are you having trouble with?”

“Bioengineering,” I admitted. 

“Which class?”

“Actually, all of them.”

Antonio chuckled, then looked around, “Who wants to help Jasmine?”

Sydney volunteered. “Come on over, Jaz,” she said, motioning me over to her table.

I walked over to Sydney’s table, sat down next to her, and took out my notes. First thing I noticed was Sydney’s choice of clothing today. She was dressed in a plain T-shirt and jeans. Her blonde hair was tied up in a messy bun and she was wearing glasses. It was a far cry from when I last saw her on Sunday. 

I also noticed the other members seemed to pair off. Antonio and Morgan, Daniel and Gabriel. 

I looked over at Daniel and got his attention. “Daniel, do you need help with anything?”

“Nah, I already took your classes,” he said with a wave of his hand. “I’ll come over when you’re done with Syd.”

I looked at Sydney, “So how does this work?”

“You read back all of your notes. Stop when you don’t understand and I’ll elaborate. You’re essentially going to teach me, even if you don’t know the terminology. I’ll also help you understand it so you’ll have an easier time taking notes. Then you’ll pair off with Daniel so you can get his notes.”

I looked at her and cocked my head. Why was I paired up with Sydney to learn Bioengineering? In the three days I've known Sydney, she gave me ditzy vibes. Not that I thought that she was dumb. She was in college, after all. But Bioengineering? Unless… “Wait,” I whispered. “Does that mean you’re J?”

She nodded. “Yeah, that’s how this works. I need to learn this stuff too. I still plan on getting a job in the field when I graduate, but I’m also getting so much world experience by being in the Guild.”

Finally, I knew someone's real identity. Of course, I blushed realizing that I was sitting with this body’s owner. I was silently gushing that she complimented me on my outfit. “J, I… I have so many questions for you,” I continued.

She giggled. “D, you’re fangirling over me. That’s so cute. But, all in good time. Let’s study first.”

I nodded.

We slowly went through my notes. She helped explain terms that I didn't know. She explained what the field was and what kind of jobs she was hoping to get after graduation. I got the impression that J was very smart. For the first time, it was rather obvious today’s Sydney was a very different person then the one I met last weekend.

After an hour, Sydney finally said, “What would you like to know, D?”

“How long have you been in the Guild?”

She chuckled. “That’s your question? That’s all in my journals.”

“I mean - I read them. But since you’re the second newest member, and I’m the newest I kinda wanted to hear it firsthand.”

“Sure,” she said. “I joined during spring semester. It was at the Valentine's Day Dance at the student union, and I was out with Brian. And he had the nerve to start flirting with Morgan - before I met her. But she noticed that Brian and I were a couple and knew right away that he was a player. That’s why she asked me to dance. Brian got insanely jealous. He wanted us to leave, but I was having fun. That’s when he left me at the dance by myself. Morgan kinda took me under her wing. Well… she did more than that.” Sydney's face lit up with a smile and a blush as she remembered it.

I chuckled, recalling my own experience with Morgan. “I know the feeling.”

“Oh, I’ll bet you do,” she giggled. “Don’t get me wrong. I kinda figured I might be bi in high school. I never had the opportunity, though. I was home-schooled, so I never interacted with any boys. I was also a nerdy girl. A T-shirt, jeans, and glasses kind of girl.”

“You? A nerd?”

“Yeah! I was so unremarkable. We’re both in our second year. Odds are we ran into each other last year and you just don’t remember me.”

“But, you had a boyfriend.”

“Yeah, he wasn’t a good one, and just held me back and kept me from really finding myself.”

“So, Morgan seduced you?”

“Yeah - but I was more than willing to be seduced by such an attractive girl.”

“That explains why Lauren thinks you’re brainwashed.”

“Exactly - she was actually there by herself and watched the whole thing go down,” Sydney continued. “I remember wearing a simple unflattering dress and Morgan was hot. Like, super hot. She was wearing this sequined red dress. I don’t blame Brian for thinking she was hot either. When Brian was gone, this hot girl started talking to me. Like, why me? I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I do remember telling her how jealous I was of her.”

“Then you swapped?”

“We swapped numbers. We also made out at the end of the night. I was in heaven. Something felt so right with her and yet, I felt like she was out of my league. She walked me home. It was so cute. But we didn’t actually swap that night. She didn’t have the stone with her. So Morgan came back the next day. She said she wanted to show me something. She held out the stone in her hand but didn’t tell me what it did. When we swapped it was amazing. I couldn’t believe it. We hung out all day as each other. It was so thrilling being her. But I also saw things I wouldn’t have. How people treated me as Morgan and how they treated Morgan as Jasmine. Let me tell you, D, looking at your life from the outside is a great way to gain a new perspective.”

“Then the Guild asked you to join?”

“Yeah, one of our former members was graduating at the end of the semester and they were looking for a replacement. It didn’t take much convincing. Between Brian and Lauren and my Mom, I needed a vacation from being Jasmine.”

“How often are you Jasmine now?”

She laughed. “I’m like, never Jasmine anymore. True, we get first dibs on our own body. But what’s the point? I’m having so much fun. My favorite is being Gabriel.”

“Gabriel?” I said, shocked. I realized I was being loud and Gabriel looked over in my direction. I lowered my voice back to a whisper. “The nerdy girl’s favorite role is a football player?”

“Hell, yeah. When I'm him I’m the opposite of the girl I came to college as. The strength. The power. The women.”

“The women,” I echoed whimsically.

“It’s just a lot of hard work. Lots of football practice and time at the gym. You know. Work hard. Play hard.”

I nodded.

“How’s my mom?”

I rolled my eyes. “She’s… the same. I guess. I kinda let slip that I was thinking of bringing a girl home.”

She giggled. “That’s funny. I’d love to have heard her reaction. She’s been worried about me being gay for a long time, so don’t you worry about it. My boyfriend from high school - his mom and my mom were friends. So, we were set up by our mothers because he was home-schooled too. I just worry about Willow.”

“Your sister.”

“Yeah - she’s the only thing from Jasmine’s life I miss. I hope she’s doing OK.”

“I haven’t heard from her.”

“I’m not surprised. She only calls occasionally.”

“Your journals don’t mention your dad. Is he…”

“He’s around. He works a lot. He’s a doctor and works a lot of shifts. But he’s the reason I want to get into Bioengineering. My parents are old fashioned. He works and makes money. Mom stays home and home-schools us.”

I smiled and tried to put all of these pieces together. “You describe yourself as a nerd - but that’s not what I see when I see Jasmine.”

“That’s totally the Guild’s doing. They saw through my unpolished exterior. Each person brings something new to Jasmine’s life.”

“But.. aren’t you weirded out by seeing your body being…” I waved my hands over myself. “... piloted by someone else? Wearing things you wouldn’t have worn?” Going places you wouldn’t have gone? Doing things you wouldn’t do?

“At first, sure,” she shrugged. “But you get over it pretty quickly and then you see it for what it is.”

“Really? What is it?”

“An opportunity.”

”Oh?”

“Have you ever second-guessed yourself? Wondered what your life would be like if someone else was in charge? Or maybe you’re curious what other people think of you. This is the ultimate, ‘look at yourself from someone else’s perspective/point of view’.”

“Sure.”

“I also love seeing what everyone does with my wardrobe. I never took chances. I get to see what works and what doesn’t, and ideas I never considered. Same with my hair and makeup. D, I wasn’t lying when I said how hot you look. Seriously.”

“Thank you” I said, blushing.

“How about you? Your original body is sitting two tables over. He’s not being “piloted” by you. How are you taking it?”

“I don’t know.” I glanced over at Daniel who seemed to be looking at my phone… his phone. “It’s weird. I haven’t interacted with him much yet.”

“You will. It’s eye-opening. During one of the first weeks, I remember seeing my old body for the first time. I mean - really seeing her. Seeing how beautiful she is. Sometimes you take that for granted when you’re stuck looking out from your own eyes. Sure, we can look in a mirror, but a mirror doesn’t really do you justice, and you can often see only what you want to see.”

I nodded as I considered her words. I never thought of it like that. I was too excited about role-playing other people, I never considered how seeing my old body being role-played would open my eyes to tell me about myself.

That’s when Daniel came over and sat down next to us. “It’s my turn,” he smiled.

Sydney leaned over and gave me a hug. “It was nice chatting with you, Jasmine. You’re doing great. Keep it up.”

“Thank you, J- I mean, Sydney.”

She got up and joined Gabriel at his table.

“So,” Daniel said, putting out some books. “Obviously we don’t need to go over Lit notes since we’re still in the same class. But I can go over Calculus with you.”

“That’d be great,” I smiled.

I thought about what Jasmine said, and I looked at Daniel from an outsider’s perspective. The first thing that came to mind was - is that what my voice really sounds like? It was deeper, more confident. Not as goofy as it sounds when recorded.

I considered asking Daniel what I missed over the past three days, but much like J, I realized I didn’t care nor miss it.

Before the study session was over, Daniel and Gabriel swapped. I asked about this and they explained that everyone can swap whenever they want. Since I was new, they wanted to give me a full week. I tried keeping a count in my head, I determined that this was the third new person who’s been in Daniel.

I then listened in as Daniel was explaining everything Gabriel needed to know about Saturday’s game. It was weird watching my old body talk about football. I was never into sports and seeing him talk about plays and recapping the week’s practice was weird.

* * *

Talking to J gave me much more confidence. Now that I had the support and blessing of this body’s owner, I stepped out into the world as Jasmine. I think Morgan noticed that I was committed to the role, as she just smiled knowingly.

I was staring out the shuttle window when I saw Sal walking to class. Naturally, he didn’t see me staring at him from inside the bus. I hadn’t even thought of my dorm-mates in days. It’s only been four days since taking over Jasmine’s life. It feels like four weeks. In some ways my life as Daniel seems like another life. Seeing Sal is like an echo of a previous life. 

I was about to enter one of the class buildings when I ran into Aiden, who was waiting for me outside. I could feel my body tense up. Just when I had my confidence back, this douche had to show up.

“Hi, Jasmine,” he said.

“Are you stalking me?” I asked. I wished I had some pepper spray in my backpack.

“Nah,” he said. “I have class here too.”

“Just letting you know my last stalker is buried under the 50 yard line in the football stadium.” That’s a lie of course, but I’ve never seen this mythical ex-boyfriend I had. The way Sydney described the situation, nobody else had either, since Gabriel ‘talked’ to him.

“You’re funny,” he chuckled. “It was good seeing you on Tuesday, are you thinking about pledging the Deltas?”

“Don’t you need an invite to pledge?” 

“I’m president of the Greek Council. That gives me some strong influence over each of the Greek houses. If you want to be a sister of Delta Pi Alpha, I can make it happen.”

“I’m not sure, Aiden. I’m nothing like those girls. I wouldn’t fit in.”

“I think you would be a perfect fit,” he laid it on thick. “And we could see more of each other,” he said with a wink.

Yuck. I know what he means by that. Can I kick him in the nuts now and just get it over with?

Not wanting to lose the sale, he continued his boasting, “You might’ve heard about the possibility of the expansion of Greek Row. More and newer houses. I’m the one who drew up the proposal and plans.”

I wasn’t sure why he was telling me this. Was he trying to brag about his influence? Is this how he flirts with girls? “Hey, listen, I really need to get to class.”

“OK, see you around, Jasmine.”

As I walked to the classroom, I was suddenly worried that this would become a daily routine. I’m going to need to find a way to put him in his place, or at least ask the Guild what I should do about him.

* * *

After class, Sydney invited me to join her at the gym. Regretting I was unable to go on Tuesday, I decided to take her up on her offer this time. I figured I could burn off the steam from the Aiden encounter on the treadmill anyway. Plus, I was enjoying my time talking to my current body’s owner.

I wasn’t sure what Jasmine typically wore to the gym, but I decided a sports bra, T-shirt, and gym shorts were sufficient.

When I got out of my school clothes and into my gym clothes, I noticed something I hadn't before.  A tattoo right above my right hip. I didn’t recognize the symbol. I wondered if J or Jasmine got the tattoo. I remembered a rule about tattoos. Or was it new tattoos?

Sydney came to the gym in just a pink sports bra and yoga pants.

“So what kind of exercises do we do?” I asked.

“Let’s start by stretching,” she said, leading me over to the stretching area.

I followed her lead as we stretched our leg muscles. 

“Was today better than yesterday?” she asked me, when bending over to do a lunge.

“Definitely,” I replied, mirroring her stretches. I was surprised at how limber I was. “I understood most of what the professor was teaching us.”

“That’s great.”

“I wanted to talk to you about the sorority mixer I went to on Tuesday.”

“Oh?”

“Lauren invited me to her mixer. I met her big sister, Ella.”

“Yeah, she’s a total bitch.”

“Oh, good,” I said. “I was worried I was screwing something up for you.”

“Nah, I’m good. Lauren is a good friend - my best friend. But she’s kinda… needy. I think being in a sorority will be good for her. Her sisters will be around when I’m not.”

“They wanted me to join.” 

Sydney chuckled. “Hell no. I can’t see me… us… maintaining the Guild lifestyle and being a Delta. Too demanding of our time. Besides, can you imagine M or G in a house full of hot women?”

“Well, I don’t think they were serious anyway. Lauren might have been, but not Ella.”

“Lauren just wants to spend more time with you. You should plan something with her. Whether it's you or the next Jasmine.”

“That’s a good idea.”

She sat down on the gym mat, spread her legs and started lunging to either side. I followed her lead.

“There was something else that happened at the mixer,” I brought up.

“Oh?”

“There was this guy.”

“Oh, really?” she smiled with a raised eyebrow.

“Not like that,” I explained. “He came on to me. It made me feel very uncomfortable.”

“What did you do?”

“I passed on his advances and left.”

“I think you did the right thing. Trust your gut. Guys will continue to come on to you.”

“Then he showed up again outside class this morning.”

“If you feel threatened let me know. One of us will take care of it.”

I nodded. “Thanks, I’m just out of my element.”

“You’ve only been a woman for a few days, but already you recognize the red flags.” She looked at me. “You’re doing a good job D. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”

I smiled and we continued our workout. 

When we got to the row of treadmills, Sydney asked me, “Hey, isn’t that Daniel?”

I looked over and sure enough, my former body was at a weight machine. “Yeah.”

He saw us and waved.

I remember what J told me yesterday about watching your body do things that you’d never do. It was weird, but I was happy knowing that whomever was piloting Daniel was taking better care of his body than I had.

A few miles on the treadmill. Then mild weight training. Then some squats. I smiled when I realized that for the first time in a long time I actually had a friend, and I was enjoying that camaraderie. Of course, I won’t be Jasmine in a few days, and J probably won’t be Sydney either.

* * *

I needed that talk I had with J. That night I called Lauren and we made plans for a best-friend’s night out next week. Sadly, I won’t be there for that, but the next Jasmine will and I suppose that’s all that matters. I wrote about my experiences in my journal. About the mixer. About Ella and Aiden. About making more time for Lauren. In only a few days I’ll move on to my next body. These would become someone else’s problems. The next Jasmine. I look forward to when I become Jasmine again to see how these small seeds have paid off.

By time Sunday came around, being Jasmine had become second nature. Cute outfits. Class. Homework. Flirt with Morgan. Repeat. As the excitement of a new life slowly changed from abnormal to normal, there were times I felt like I really was Jasmine, both in body and mind.

I would answer to “Jasmine”, make feminine hand gestures, subconsciously cross my legs. As crazy as it initially seemed to leave behind Daniel and become Jasmine, it now seemed crazy that in a few hours I would do it all over again. A new life to learn about. A new life to become. I could hardly wait.