Chapter 17

I dreamt of being a character from The Fated Crown. Kaylee was the princess. I was her chambermaid. What’s up with that? Shouldn’t I have been her knight? But anyway, instead of an Orc stealing the princess’s body, Aiden did. Now Kaylee and I had to confront and defeat Aiden and swap them back.

I woke up right before kissing Princess Kaylee. I let that nice dream linger for a bit before I extracted myself from my nest of blankets.

I checked my phone and saw a message from Kaylee. I instantly got warm and giddy as if I was back in my dream.

“Want to do book club this evening?” the message read. “I have off from work tonight.”

I smiled. What a way to start the day. “I’d love to,” I responded.

This made me feel excited and rejuvenated. As I dressed for class, I decided to dress cuter. A nice knit sweater, some heather black leggings, and knee boots. I then accessorize it with an infinity scarf.

While doing that, I suddenly had a thought. I should invite Kaylee over. So, I picked up my phone and replied to her. “Do you want to do it at my apartment?”

She responded almost instantly. “I’d love to! Just send me the address.”

I responded with my address, a time, and a closing message, “See you this evening!”

I now just need to make sure my time as Antonio ends before my meetup with Kaylee.

* * *

After my last class of the day, I walked to Antonio’s dorm. I was nervous about seeing Aiden, or rather E. I’m glad I’m seeing him as Antonio and not one of the girls. Even though I’m confident that Aiden is E, Aiden’s physical presence makes me nervous since he has assaulted me every time I’ve been around him in a female body.

Antonio was waiting for me outside his dorm. He gave me a warm welcoming smile, and a little more confidence that I can get through this afternoon.

“Thanks for doing this,” I said.

“No problem!” he replied. “How much time do you need? James is coming over tonight.”

“I only need an hour or so.”

With that, we both swapped. I was now Antonio and walked to the student union while Sydney walked towards her car.

As with yesterday and swapping with Gabriel, I took inventory of my feelings being a guy. I was fine. I was OK. I have yet to feel dysphoria. Granted, Antonio’s polo shirt and slacks weren't as cute as what I put on Sydney today. I think if anything, I can see why G wants to go into fashion after his football career ends. I wonder if given the opportunity, would more guys be interested in taboo feminine things?

As with the last time I was Antonio, various students greeted me. Some wanted to carry on longer conversations about RHA, Student Government, or protesting the national election results. I told them I had a meeting and promised I’d get back to them. I made sure to shake their hand and make them feel important. Being Antonio is hard work, but it's worth it to see the look on their faces after they’re done talking with me.

When I got into the student union, I walked upstairs to the Kappa Nu Tau office. I stood outside the door for a moment, took a deep breath, and slowly exhaled. I put on my best politicians’ smile and grabbed the door handle.

When I entered the office, I was surprised to see Aiden was not alone. 

There was a pretty girl standing there, smoothing out her dress and covering up her bra straps.

Aiden was behind her, buckling his belt.

The scene was enough to make me blush. I was about to turn right back around and flee when the girl looked at me.

Her face turned red. Not only were her cheeks red, her lipstick was smeared on her chin. Before I could say anything she pushed me aside and darted out of the office.

I looked at Aiden who didn’t seem bothered by the scene. Instead he looked at me quizzically wondering what I was doing in his office. “What do you want? Do you have an appointment?”

“Aiden!” I announced like we’re old friends. “How goes it?”

He wiped his hands off and extended one. “Hi, I’m Aiden, what can I do for you?”

“We met a few weeks ago. You’re cosponsoring our Spring Block Party.”

“Spring Block Party?” he asked. “When is that?”

“In the Spring Semester,” I replied. “March. It’s a party the dorms are putting on. Carnival games. Dunk tank. Live band.”

“I thought we didn’t cosponsor stuff with the dorms,” he said, a look of confusion on his face.

“You made an exception. Because we can turn around and help you with Rush.”

“Um, we don’t need help with Rush,” he said in a very effeminate tone. He propped his hand on his hip and curled his lip in disgust. I’ve seen Ella strike that exact same pose when I was Jasmine.

“I, um, figured our two organizations could benefit.”

“Honestly, Anthony-” he started to say in a whiny tone.

“Antonio.”

“Whatever,” he said dismissively. “The Greek Council has its hands full. Previous leadership has left us bankrupt. Morally and financially. I cannot commit to giving away more money to non-Greek entities. Fraternities and sororities have been letting the wrong people pledge. Girls who aren’t committed to their sororities. Guys who are fucking predators. This has been going on for years!” He punctuated that remark by shaking his fist. Then he stared me down while his lips formed into a sneer. “And I finally have the power to undo that.”

I stood there surprised. Impressed, actually. This new Aiden apparently seemed to be seizing the opportunity presented to him. Of course, I also wondered about the girl who had just left. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Is there anything else?” he impatiently asked.

I thought about it for a moment. I wanted to keep him talking. “I was talking to a mutual acquaintance. Gabriel Rameriz.”

The look of recognition flashed upon his face. “You know Gabe?” He sat down on an office couch.

“Yeah,” I replied. “I tried out for the football team once. We’ve kept in touch.”

He laughed. “You’re a little scrawny for football.” He then looked down and noticed a wad of pantyhouse sitting next to him. Were those from his previous visitor? He quickly grabbed them, balled them up and stuffed them into his pants pocket.

“Coach thought so too,” I replied. “So Gabriel is dating this sorority girl. You might know her - Ella.”

He looked up at me with a sneer. “Yeah, I know her.”

“Well, she was telling him some crazy things about the Delta Pi Theta Halloween Party.”

His sneer turned to disgust as he was taken aback. “What kind of crazy things?” He leaned forward, suddenly really interested in what I had to say.

“You pinned her to the wall.”

“I did no such thing!” he spat. “She’s lying.” Aiden continued, obviously shaken, “Why do you care? Are you trying to blackmail me?”

“No, no. Nothing like that.” I needed to throw some accusations against the wall to see what stuck. “I’m running for Student Government. I want to get to know the power players. You know. Which wheels need to be greased. She said you were trying to bribe her.”

“That little bitch!” he said, rising from the couch. “Aiden was trying to bribe me!”

“Aiden?”

“I meant Ella! She used to be in charge. She needed my soror- the Greek Council to help pay off her debts. She thought she could use her body to sway me. The fucker was going to steal from the Deltas.”

Well, now I know what was going on when I walked in on them on Halloween. Aiden was trying to get Ella and Delta Pi Theta to help out with some debt. They were both drunk and Aiden was likely forcing himself upon Ella as some sort of power play. Seeing Jasmine at the door caught them off-guard. “Was anyone else there?”

“Just some witch friend of my sister - her sister.”

“Can she corroborate your story?”

“Probably not. We were all fucked up.”

“You called her a witch.”

Aiden shrugged. “Aid- Ella called her a witch. I actually don't care. Karma’s a witch too. You know what, you should tell your friend Gabe to dump her ass. She’s a different person now than she was then. And she’s not going to go back to that naive and powerless girl she was.”

I nodded. “I’ll tell him. So you’re not going to go after her?”

“Who?”

“The witch.”

“No! I could care less about some floozy that leeches off the Delta house.”

I paused for a moment, then whispered to him, “Ella?”

He looked up at me as if I called his name.

I continued. “What about her?”

“What about her?”

“Is she trying to blackmail you?”

“I’ll… talk to her tonight,” Aiden promised.

“OK,” I replied. I got what I needed. Any more time spent talking to Aiden would just put me at risk of being found out. It was time to go. 

I was about to leave when he said, “Hey, you’re gay right?”

I raised my eyebrow. “Umm. I am.”

“If you want your cosponsorship, come back after office hours. We might be able to work something out.”

That is not what I expected him to say. He wants to bribe me with sex too? I wondered if that’s what was going on before I came here. “I, uh.. Have a boyfriend.”

“Shame. The offer still stands, Antonio.”

“I understand,” I replied and started walking back to the door. I turned around, “Thanks for seeing me.”

“Anytime,” Aiden replied as I walked out the door.

As I walked through the student union I was sure of a few things. One. Aiden and Ella definitely swapped. Two. Both seem OK with it. E appears to be dealing with it the best. She’s in control. A2 seems to be just dealing. Three. They’re not going to seek out Jasmine. That part gave me relief. But that leads to- Four. I need to tell the Guild. Our next meeting isn’t until Sunday, so I should tell them before then. Of course, since E is in control and not seeking to harm themself, A2, or Jasmine, that means I don’t have to do it right away. Although there is the matter, E appears to be using her new position to get sex for favors. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. I shouldn’t procrastinate too long, either. Maybe tonight? Maybe after my book club with Kaylee? Maybe tomorrow.

I also considered E and A2. Their sexuality. Both were straight before the swap… at least I thought so. Now they’re both…perhap bisexual? Or maybe it’s something different. 

* * *

When I returned to Antonio’s dorm, James was waiting for me outside. “Hey, James.” We embraced and kissed each other on the cheek.

I unlocked and opened the door and let him in.

“Lemme guess - D?” James said with a smirk.

“How did you know?”

“When you lean in to kiss me, you tense up like you’re kissing a male family member.”

“Oh. Sorry,” I replied.

“No worries. Are you joining me for dinner this evening?”

“No, actually, I just borrowed this body for an hour. Your dinner date will be back shortly.”

“Your loss,” he said, smiling and holding up a brown bag of food.

“I know,” I said, rubbing my grumbly stomach. I wonder if Sydney already ate. When we swap, we’ll be swapping stomachs too. Of course, right now I really want the food James brought over. I put that thought out of my mind. Since I had James here, I wanted to ask him about dating Guild members. “Hey, James, I have a question for you.”

“Go for it.”

“It’s about dating a Guild member. From your point of view. There’s someone outside the Guild I like.”

“As Antonio?”

“No, no. As Sydney. Is it fair to her if I date her?”

“Well,” James said, holding my hand. “When Antonio joined the guild, he told me fairly early. Actually, he tried breaking up with me first. But when he failed to tell me why he was breaking up, I managed to get the truth from him.” He laughed. “At first I didn’t believe him. Who would? But once I did, we both agreed it made sense for me to know what I was getting myself into by continuing to date him.”

“So, you’re saying I should tell her?”

“Absolutely. Dating is an emotional investment. I know I’m dating six people who are all trying to be different versions of my boyfriend. I know what to expect.”

“You’re managing your expectations,” I chuckled, recalling our first conversation.

“Always,” he smiled.

“I dunno. I’m afraid to tell her.”

“What does everyone else say?”

“They don’t know I’m seeing her.”

“They don’t? What about your journals?”

“Well, I’ve only known the girl for less than a week. And I’ve been Sydney most of that time. I kinda wanted to keep this girl to myself. I know. That seems selfish of me.”

“Antonio knew he couldn’t keep me for himself. Which is why he tried to set me free. But I’m also glad I know, and I’m also glad I met everyone in the Guild. You have to tell the Guild eventually. You’re also going to have to tell this girl eventually too.”

I nodded. “I haven’t brought it up. I’m not even sure if she’s into girls.”

“Oh, honey, you need to get your life in order.”

“I’m kinda new at this. I rarely dated as a straight guy. Now suddenly I’m trying to date as a lesbian. I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“Lesbian, eh? Well, Sydney was ace…”

Ace? As in asexual? “Oh,” is all I could reply with.

“But you do you. I’m not sure about the Guild’s rules regarding that.”

“I know, I know. I have to ask. I’ve been all sorts of screwed up since… since… last week.”

“What happened last week?”

I wondered if I should share. James is easy to talk to. He knows about the Guild, but isn’t a member. He seems to genuinely care about all six versions of Antonio. “I uh...had sex with… myself. I mean my original body… Daniel.”

“Oh, do tell,” James said, propping his head on his hands. “I love hearing stories when straight boys realize they’re not straight.”

“I hated it.”

“OK, then maybe you are straight. Or you need someone more experienced.” He winked at me.

“I think I’m going to pass. Thank you though, James.”

“Actually, let me tell you a secret.”

“OK.”

“I got to use the stone once.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, and I had sex with myself. That was a crazy experience. Even though I’m gay, I’m not attracted to myself, and I didn’t necessarily enjoy it. So food for thought - if you ever decide to try having sex with a guy again. Maybe you just can’t have sex with yourself.”

“I dunno. There’s something about this girl though. I can’t get her out of my mind.”

“I hope it works out for you, D. But it sounds like you need to be honest with your friends and your girl.”

There was a knock at the door and Sydney walked in carrying a few grocery bags. “Sorry I’m late!”

“Sydney!” James said. “I haven’t seen you in forever.”

James went over and hugged Sydney.

“But, I thought she’s been Antonio all week,” I commented.

“I mean I haven’t seen Sydney.” James said. “I rarely see the other Guild members. Everyone’s always Antonio when I see them.”

“Well, you could invite us over for those amazing dinners,” I proposed, remembering our first meal together.

“Or maybe have all six of us over for dinner,” Sydney suggested.

“Ooo, kinky,” James snickered.

“Wouldn’t that be weird?” I frowned.

“It wouldn’t be the first time we… umm,” Sydney admitted. “But that was before my time. My meaning M. R could tell you some stories, though.”

“That was definitely before Antonio’s time as well,” James said. “I’m almost sad I never got in on that action.”

“Anyway,” Sydney changed the subject and held up a box of frozen garlic bread. “I got some garlic bread for dinner.”

“Perfect,” James said.

Is now the time to pull M aside and tell her about Aiden and Ella? How do I start? I broke the rules and I threw two lives into chaos. I nervously fidgeted. I didn’t necessarily want to involve James.

“Who is Kaylee?” Sydney suddenly asked me.

I froze. “Kaylee?”

Sydney held up her phone. “She’s looking forward to seeing me later.”

“Oh, um,” I stammered. “We have a book club.” I noticed out of the corner of my eye, James raised his eyebrow.

“Oh - well I hope you have fun,” Sydney said. “I need to use the bathroom before we swap, excuse me.” She ran back out into the hallway.

James looked at me. “Book club?”

“A private bookclub.”

“I see. Syd - ney and Kay - lee sitting in a tree…,” he sang.

“I wish.”

“Good luck.”

When Sydney came back, she held out the stone. I greedily took her hand. I wanted to get out of here. I can tell the Guild about Aiden and Ella later. Maybe tomorrow. I have a private book club date to get to. Five seconds later we were swapped, and I was Sydney, holding Antonio’s hand.

Crap, I’m still hungry.

“Syd, I’d offer you to stay for dinner, but it sounds like you have somewhere to be.” James said.

“Definitely,” Antonio added. “You’re welcome to stay.”

My stomach growled. Now I’m annoyed that M didn’t feed this body before giving it back to me. “Thank you.” I replied. “That food smells awesome and I am hungry. But I have to meet Kaylee.”

“It was good seeing you, Sydney,” James said. “Have fun with Kaylee.” He gave me a parental look of concern.

I nodded, and slipped the stone into my purse. “It was good to see you too, James. Have a good dinner, you two.”

“Bye, Syd!” Antono said.

“Bye,” I echoed, leaving his dorm room. It was time to head home and get ready for my guest. Or at least grab a snack from the student union before I get there.

* * *

I looked around Sydney's apartment. It hadn't really bothered me that it was so spartan before. It made sense as Sydney is treated by the Guild as just an identity that has a car. Since Robert left, no one has stepped up to give Sydney a permanent personality. Not even R. And now I felt a sense of dread, realizing that this dorm was about to be seen as a reflection of me.

Before I could berate myself too much, there was a knock at my door. A quick glance through the peephole confirmed that Kaylee had arrived.

I was giddy she was here. I attempted a deep voice and queried through the door, "This gate may not be passed by those who do not walk the path."

I could hear Kaylee giggle before responding proudly, "The path leads all who seek clarity through many gates, not just one."

I opened the door and bowed. "Enter, traveler."

Kaylee smirked and walked in holding two steaming coffee cups. 

“I’ll take those from you.” After closing the door, I took the coffee cups from her so that she could take off her coat. Once she was ready to go, I handed back one of the coffee cups and guided her to the small couch by the window. I took my usual spot on the left side tucking my leg under myself, a position I’ve come to find comfortable.

Kaylee looked around for a moment and seemed to be taking in what she saw. Finally, her gaze returned to me and she sat on the right side of the couch. She set her coffee cup on the table, set her bag next to the table, and pulled out her copy of The Fated Crown from her bag.

My nerves seemed to get the better of me as I was sure she was judging me for Sydney's apartment. I took a sip from my cup. I reminded myself that I needed to try a Matcha Latte when someone else - to better understand if it's something that I like or something that Sydney likes. "Thanks for bringing hot drinks. It feels like it warms the soul on these cold days."

"I always enjoy a good beverage when I settle in with a good book,” Kaylee replied, sipping her own drink. “Figured it wouldn't be fair to exclude you."

"So, you found it to be a good book?"

"Well, I wasn't trying to jump right to the end, but yes, overall, I think it is a good book. Couple of rough edges that I think would have been caught by a better publisher, though."

It had been lost on me that I would be discussing a novel, not with a friend, but with an author. I took another sip and tried to compose myself and convince myself that Kaylee wouldn't think less of me for not being on her level. "You mean like how it felt like a TV show?"

Kaylee squinted a little and cocked her head to the side a bit. "What do you mean?"

"The whole thing seemed to be structured like each chapter was an episode. And the short passages at the end of each chapter so we know what the Orc is doing as Lenaria never added to the story, but just seemed to be tacked on as a pseudo-cliffhanger."

Kaylee looked down at her book for a few moments. "Huh. I hadn't considered that angle. But I see what you are getting at. Those passages did seem a little out of place, but there is nothing wrong with ending each chapter on a cliffhanger, and some of them were important to the story. Like when the Orc is offered the fruit by Rafton and she lashes out at him because it had spoiled. When you read that passage on subsequent readings it takes on a whole different meaning when you know Lenaria is colorblind and that this interaction sows the first seed of doubt for Rafton."

“I suppose I consider this a story about Lenaria in the Orc’s body. I kinda don't care what the Orc was doing in hers. I suppose I’d rather read a story from a single point of view than have it bounce back and forth.”

She giggled. “I understand what you mean. Some stories bounce around too much. But for this story, on re-reads you get some new details from the Orc’s point of view.”

"Wait, did you read it more than once already?"

"Three times, actually. But I don't have to deal with a full schedule of classes like you do. Plus, there were some scenes I really wanted to reread. And I write for a living. I was kinda procrastinating my work-in-progress."

"Wow,” I exclaimed. Kaylee was way out of my literary league. “Okay, I hadn't considered scenes taking on different meanings when you reread them. But that kind of furthers my point since you see that a lot in movies. I can't count the number of times people have told me that they didn't catch the double meanings until they saw a movie for the fifth time."

"I always tease people when they say things like that. Sure, they try to be subtle with the foreshadowing, but once you understand how that works it becomes so obvious."

"Same! I was starting to think I was the only one. I guess the presence of mundane scenes helped to hide the important scenes. Still, I would have much preferred that the author consolidated the Orc chapters. They could’ve been their own book.”

"So, what did you think of the actual story?"

"I loved it! When you gave me the brief synopsis I was intrigued, but after reading the foreword I knew I was going to enjoy it. I thought it was really smart for the author to avoid using the tropes of standard fantasy races."

"I know! The standard fantasy races are super problematic if you inspect them at all, so it was refreshing to see an author try something new. And having everything have a logical consistency made the world feel all the more real."

"Well, the magic system was a little bit hand-wavy."

"When is it not? Honestly, as long as it's not over the top without a reasonable excuse, I give all magic a pass. I’ve read so many fantasy books, there are no new ideas for magic systems anymore. I will say that I liked that magic was used sparingly here. And when it was used it always came with a cost. And although linking magic to natural forces has been done to death, I found this version to be nuanced, and I appreciated that it aligned with the racial links to natural forces."

I wonder what the cost of using a magical body swapping stone was. Besides being hungry.

Seeing Kaylee get so passionate brought a smile to my face. I felt a kinship with her that I hadn't felt with others before, even the other Guild members. I wondered what it meant that I felt more connected to Kaylee than the people I have literally shared bodies and lives with.

Kaylee caught me lost in thought. "Hey! Don't hold back. If you liked the magic system you can say so." She seemed a little hurt.

"Sorry! I've always found magic systems to be fascinating. I felt like this one was a little underwhelming, but your perspective gave me reason to reconsider. I always worry that by introducing magic, you’re also introducing a deus ex machina."

Kaylee's smile returned. The evening sun decided at that moment to grace the window with the perfect lighting conditions. Kaylee was resplendent. And I was the only one privileged to see it. I could tell I was smiling now as well.

"But magic systems aside, the story was really good." I paused for a moment to put my thoughts in order. "I know that it can be seen as a negative when every issue that comes up is addressed in the next chapter, and I will add that to my 'the author was trying to write a TV show' argument, but in this case, I felt that it worked to the story's advantage. Lenaria needed to grow and had a short time to do so. There was no time to eventually get around to certain moments of character growth."

"It wasn't just the pacing that felt a little rushed. When Lenaria looked at her restored Orc body in the mirror after Toriji cleansed her, the acceptance she had for her new body seemed to come a little too quickly. It definitely didn't feel entirely earned."

In that moment my own enthusiasm almost got the better of me. After all, I had experience. I wanted to tell her how exhilarating it can be to find yourself in a more appealing body. "I don't think it was unearned. L was finally fully connected with her new body, and-"

She looked at me and cocked her head. “L?”

“Oh, sorry,” I replied. “My nickname for Lenaria’s soul when she’s in the Orc’s body.”

“That’s clever. Later she chooses Narr the Mighty as a name. Sorry, I interrupted you. Continue that thought.” 

“It’s fine. Based on the reactions from Tarusk and Gelbin it is clear that once restored she was quite attractive, and not just for an Orc. Suddenly finding yourself in a beautiful body that you feel connected to has to feel like a massive weight has been lifted. I loved that scene. L was so euphoric. Her body no longer felt foreign or unnatural.” I wish I could feel that euphoria. Maybe I’ve come close. My times as Jasmine, Morgan, and Sydney feel like breadcrumbs to an epiphany.

My tone must have betrayed some of my recent struggles as Kaylee's face adopted a look of concern. But there was something else. A recognition. It wasn't that she could tell I had been struggling, but that she knew the struggle as well.

"Sometimes…,” she breathed, “...we don't need a new body to see the beauty in ourselves that others see. It isn't just mirrors of the magical variety that can show us the truth about ourselves." It sounded like she was trying to convince more than just me of that.

I watched Kaylee and had an idea. I lifted my phone and snapped a quick shot of Kaylee as the sun graced her with its most radiant of beams.

"Hey! Warn me if you are going to take a picture," Kaylee protested.

“Just follow me here.” I sent her the picture over text message with the caption 'Magic mirrors don't have a filter that can compare to natural beauty'.

Kaylee’s phone vibrated and she looked at the message I sent. So many emotions played across Kaylee's face. “That's… a really good picture of me.”

“No filters. Just beauty.”

Kaylee blushed as I rendered her speechless.

"So you agree that Lenaria's reaction wasn't unrealistic then?" I queried.

Kaylee narrowed her eyes at me. "Fine. But that was a sneaky way to make your point. I'm watching you." She flashed a playful smirk.

I laughed. "So was that one of those scenes that you mentioned wanting to reread?"

"It grew on me. But the scenes that I wanted to revisit were the coronation, the encounter with Tea Master, the final confrontation, and..." she trailed off for a moment " ... the final cleansing."

"In that order? ‘Cause one of those definitely seemed to have more of an impact on you."

Kaylee blushed slightly. "Don't judge."

Kaylee and I continued discussing the book for the next hour. We talked about the assassination, the coronation, and how Princess Lenaria adapted to her new body. Over the course of that hour, our positions on my couch got closer. Kaylee would occasionally scoot closer in excitement.

Eventually our bodies were touching. I put down my copy of the book and we shared hers.

“About that cleansing,” I asked. “I don’t understand what happened. What did Toriji whisper in L’s ear?”

“Toriji isn’t Toriji’s real name. Priestesses keep their true name secret and only give it to someone they love. Giving their true name will bind them to that person, and bind that person to them. It is considered rare for a Priestess to do this. See, consider these paragraphs.” 

I could feel her breath close to my face.

Kaylee read:

Toriji leaned in. "Yes. But your heart cannot belong to Toriji." 

Confusion pulled Lenaria back from her reminiscing. 

"To protect us, and others, before we begin our training we are given a new name. Our true names, when given, will create the bond. If you are willing for our path to be forever traveled together, I will tell you my true name."

"Nothing would honor me more," Lenaria replied. 

Toriji smiled. 

Lenaria's imagination had failed to fully capture how beautiful Toriji's smile would be. Toriji cautiously moved closer to Lenaria. Neither felt like this moment was real, and neither wanted to do anything to interrupt it.

Their bodies now pressed together, their breathing had synchronized. "Narr the Mighty, Princess Lenaria, holder of my heart, I give you my name." Toriji moved her lips next to Lenaria's ear. The world froze for the pair as Toriji whispered in Lenaria's ear.”

I traced the words with our hands as I read the passage. Neither of us said anything. I raised my thumb up and caressed her palm. “So we - the readers - don’t know Toriji’s name?”

“No, only Lenaria,” she said, looking at me. “I found that scene very romantic. In that moment they are exposed as their true selves and it binds them forever.”

I gently turned my head and matched her gaze.

I felt her breath again and it felt as if time was slowing down for us.

She glanced at my lips as we both moved closer.

Suddenly, I felt her tense up and pull away.

“I’m sorry,” she said, leaping from the couch. “I gotta go. I’m sorry.”

“Is something wrong?” I asked, getting scared. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” she said very apologetically. “You did nothing wrong. It was me.” She grabbed her copy of the book and her drink and ran out my door.

I was left in my apartment alone and confused.

What happened? I thought things were going so well. I must’ve misread her signals. She’s straight. And I ruined it.

I was reeling. I was hurting before I swapped into Sydney and now I just ruined the only good thing in Sydney’s life. 

This has been the worst week ever. First the Halloween party, then sex with Daniel, now Kaylee. My mind kept dancing around the logical conclusion. That body swapping had become too difficult and all I was doing was hurting myself. Perhaps even sabotaging the Guild.

Despite that, I didn’t necessarily want to leave the Guild. I didn’t want to go back to Daniel just yet. But I do know I’m done being Sydney. I’m ready to swap into someone else. I’m also ready to confess what I did to Aiden and Ella. The only logical next step was to just rip the bandaid off. I picked up my cell phone and dialed Antonio.

“Sydney, what’s up?” he answered

“Antonio, I need to confess something,” I said through tears.

“What’s wrong?”

“I broke the rules.”