Episode 4 - The Obligatory Mall Episode

Casey returned to his room, typing in his password as he frantically logged back onto his computer. He was so eager to see Lexi’s response, that he plopped down into his chair without taking off Abby’s clothes. Returning to Discord, he was greeted by several messages from Lexi.

ManicLexiDreamGirl: 👀!!!

ManicLexiDreamGirl: OMG CASEY!!!

ManicLexiDreamGirl: i am literally ded. that photo with the dandelion? 🦁 u look so beautiful. i can’t even.

Casey blushed and smiled as he scrolled up to look again at the photos he had posted. They were good. He barely recognized himself, thanks to Abby’s handiwork. It didn’t make sense how good he looked, to the point where he was having a hard time admitting that it was actually him who was beautiful.

CosmicJusticeCasey: Thank you!

CosmicJusticeCasey: My roommate took them. Apparently she’s kind of a professional photographer. Who knew?

ManicLexiDreamGirl: well she had a great subject! srsly casey, ur gorgeous. why have u been hiding behind that astra avatar?

CosmicJusticeCasey: Because she’s cuter than me ;)

As Casey was watching the “…” indicator under Lexi’s name, a video chat notification came up from Will.

Before Casey could think about it, he clicked the green answer button.

Will’s face popped up on the screen. Then his face went from a casual resting face to shock. 

That’s when Casey realized what he had done. He immediately hung up.

Casey stared at the screen absently for a good few seconds, desperately hoping that Will hadn’t actually seen anything more than a brief look.

Another video call notification popped up.

He ripped the wig off his head and jolted out of his chair. He wasn’t sure what to do. He had all of this makeup on his face and Will was calling. One ring, then another, and then a third. He stood paralyzed until the ringing stopped and the notification went away.

Broken out of its spell, he leaned over his desk and typed a quick message to Lexi:

CosmicJusticeCasey: Gotta run, ttyl

Two seconds later, Casey’s phone rang. It was Will again.

Casey let it go to voicemail.

Then a text message from Will. 

Will: Hey man - I know you’re there. I know I saw something I wasn’t supposed to. There’s no need to be embarrassed. It’s just me. Call me back.

There was no point in denying it anymore. Will had seen him.

Hands sweaty, he clicked on Will’s contact picture and dialed him.

“Casey, I—”

“Hey, I’m sorry. You weren’t supposed to see that.”

“See what, Case? I don’t understand. What was I looking at?”

Casey glanced down at the wig, strewn unceremoniously in the middle of his floor. He didn’t know how to explain. “Let’s just forget it happened.”

“But I saw you wearin—” Will said, pausing for a moment. “You’re right, we can drop it —  but if you ever want to talk to me, I’m all ears. I’m your best friend. If there’s something important you need to say or get off your chest, I’m here for you. No judgments."

A notification sound rang out, and Casey looked over at his computer.

ManicLexiDreamGirl: astra cuter than u? cmon grl, no self-deprecating here

Sighing and closing Discord, Casey said, “I’ve been talking to Lexi.”

“Lexi?”

“The assassin from Thursday night’s game.”

“The girl who was flirting with you? That’s awesome, Case. I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks, yeah she invited me to her Discord.”

“Wait… does she still think you’re a girl?” Will asked.

Casey sat there wordlessly, letting his silence answer for him as another notification popped up on his screen.

ManicLexiDreamGirl: ur beautiful, u gotta see that in urself

ManicLexiDreamGirl: l8r, grrl! ♥️

“You know, it doesn’t surprise me at all that a cute girl would crack your egg,” said Will.

“My egg?” Casey echoed. Wasn’t that what Travis called him Friday night? Maybe it meant Casey was shy. “I guess she is getting me to come out of my shell a little. She’s very enthusiastic.”

“So what’s going on, are you gonna see her? Where does she live?”

“Aren’t you going to ask why she still thinks I’m still a girl?”

“Nope. Besides, from what I saw you were very convincing.”

“It was all Abby. She dressed me up so I could send her pictures.”

“Well, compliments to the stylist, then. Can I see them?”

“No.”

“C’mon, Case. Just one? Pretty please?”

“No way, not a chance. And please don’t tell anyone.”

“Oh, okay, fine. You know I would nev— wait, hold on. I have one condition.”

Casey froze. He should have known he wasn’t going to get out of this so easily. “What is it?”

“You know how I’ve been playing on my girlfriend's co-ed kickball team on Wednesdays?”

“Yeah. The Panthers, right?”

“Yep, that’s the team. Anyways, we have a little problem. We’re almost always a little short on—”

“Will, no. I know where you’re going with this. Absolutely not.” 

“We need a minimum of four girls. We have Darla,” Will said, starting to count out on his fingers, “Beth and Tina. Katie is out of town. And our fifth keeps flaking on us.”

“No.”

“Please. Darla would be so happy if I found her another girl. She spends so much time looking for subs for games.”

“But I’m not a girl, Will! And Darla knows I’m not a girl.”

“Sure, but everyone else doesn’t — and if you show up to the game looking half as good as I saw you just now…”

“Y- you think I looked good?” Given the heat he could feel in his face, Casey was suddenly grateful that Will couldn’t see him right now.

“…uhhh. Yeah. If I didn’t know you didn’t have a sister, I would’ve thought… I mean, you’re my best friend, so I… I wouldn’t think of you that way — or your hypothetical sister.”

Casey didn’t know why Will was getting so flustered. But back to the condition of Will’s silence. “So… you’re really gonna blackmail me over this?”

“What? No. Don’t think of this as blackmail — think of it as practice. For when you meet Lexi in real life.”

“Practice to see Lexi? I don’t even know where she lives. That hardly seems worth it.”

“OK, fine — I’ll let you choose my FNF characters for the next month.”

“You’ll be Astra Amethyst?”

“Sure. If you can teach me how to do her voice, I’ll play as Astra Amethyst.”

“OK, but still — I can fool people with online photos. I’m not sure I can fool people in real life. What if someone recognizes me?”

“The only people who know you are me and Darla. And you’d be doing Darla a solid. And hey, it’s not ‘til Wednesday, so why don’t you think about it?”

* * *

Monday morning was a nice reprieve from the crazy weekend Casey had. He desired normalcy. He got up, took a long, hot shower, put on his normal work clothes and headed out to the subway station.

Everything was completely normal. Except normalcy didn’t stop Casey’s anxiety from returning as he struggled to concentrate on work. 

Normal. Normal. Normal. He did not spend the weekend in a dress. 

During a break, he checked his phone.

Abby: I saw this cute dress today that would look amazing on you!

Casey clenched his phone at the reminder then looked at the attached image.

It was a pink-and-white floral sundress, clearly taken through the glass window of a shop. It had a deep V-neck, with chunky shoulder straps and red edging around the hem of the skirt.

Casey: No. I’m not going to make a habit of wearing dresses.

Not wanting to disappoint Abby, he added:

Casey: It is cute though.

Swiping back, he then looked at his messages from Will:

Will: Have you thought any more about Wednesday?

Casey: No.

Will immediately wrote back:

Will: Ahh, please Case? I’ve even got you one of these!

Attached was a picture of a bright pink team jersey, with black sleeves and a cartoonish Panther logo on the front. And, guessing from the fact that the sides were sharply tapered, it was a girl’s cut as well.

His hands were shaking and more than a little sweaty. He wanted to throw his phone across the office and pretend he didn’t look at it. He instead took a deep breath, and just when he was about to muster up the courage to tell them both to stop and he was never going to crossdress again, he got a Discord message from Lexi.

ManicLexiDreamGirl: hey casey! happy monday! 😪

ManicLexiDreamGirl: i was thinking bout u.

Casey’s heart nearly stopped, as he thought back to what Will had asked the other day. What if Lexi did live nearby? What would life be like if she lived close? He’d had to tell her the truth at some point, that he wasn’t really a girl. But did he have to do it right now? Maybe it would be okay to play along just a little while longer.

Casey: I’ve been thinking about you too <3.

He couldn’t deny that he wanted to chat more with her, he wanted to see more of her. She was so cute, he thought, his heart quickening as he remembered the selfies she had posted to chat. He wanted to see more of her. But doing so meant he would have to continue the charade. Which also likely meant more dresses, more wigs, more makeup. More crossdressing.

Finally, he bit his lip and replied to Will:

Casey: I’m raising the asking price. Not only do you have to play as Astra Amethyst, but you have to do so wearing one of Abby’s dresses.

Will: That sounds a little excessive. You didn’t play in a dress.

Casey: But I had to play D&D in a dress.

Will: Abby made you do that, not me!

Casey: Do you want me to be a sub or not?

Will: If I agree, do we have a deal?

Casey: Yes.

Will: Okay, you win. I agree to your terms.

Will: I’ve got you a jersey, but we’ll need to get you some girl’s athletic wear.

Casey: Can’t I just borrow Abby’s again?

Will: I don’t think Abby is gonna want you to borrow her workout gear, especially if you’re gonna get them all sweaty and gross. How about we go to the mall after work?

Casey: The mall? I hate the mall. Nobody goes to the mall anymore.

Will: Would you rather go to a busy Walmart or Target?

Casey: OK, good point. I guess we’ll go to the mall.

* * *

The mall on a Monday evening. Maybe twenty years ago, it would be hopping. But today, it featured only a handful of people. Mostly older people who hadn’t changed their ways since 1995. They’re probably still standing outside of Sears waiting for it to open back up.

Ma’am, this is a Spirit Halloween.

Will led Casey to the nearest department store and to the women’s athletic apparel, embarrassingly located across from lingerie.

Casey felt weird being in the women’s athletic section without a real-life woman present. Around him were racks of tennis dresses, tight athletic shorts that looked uncomfortably short, and an array of sports bras in every color of the rainbow.

“So, go ahead,” Will said, standing in the aisle. “Pick something. My treat.”

“What do you want me to pick?” Casey asked, flipping up the skirt of a periwinkle tennis dress. “And how do girls pee in these things, anyways?”

“Well, I don’t know the answer.” Will looked at the shorts underneath the skirt. “To either question. Besides, you’re the crossdressing expert here.”

“It was just that one time.” Casey paused. “Okay, two times. Maybe three.”

“Yeah, and you still haven’t shown me the pictures from yesterday.”

“Those are for Lexi’s eyes only.”

“Holy shit — were they… sexy photos?”

“No. It’s just that I don’t want those pictures to get out and for people to recognize me. Like right now. Standing in the middle of the women's section in a department store.”

“One - I’m not going to share them. And two, nobody’s gonna recognize you. Especially here. This place is empty aside from some seniors and the employees.”

“Let’s just get this over with.” Casey looked around. “I guess since you’ve already got me a team jersey, I guess I should get some shorts.”

“And a sports bra.” Will picked a pair of black yoga shorts off the shelf, and handed them to Casey. “Here, try these. They’ll go great with the uniform.”

Casey spun the shorts around on their hanger. “Don’t you think they’ll be a little tight?”

“Does it matter? You can just tuck things back.”

“T-tuck things back?”

“Oh yeah, no problem,” Will said, tossing a pair of white sports bras at him. “Here, you’ll need one of these too.”

“For what?” asked Casey, exasperated. “I don’t have boobs.”

“That’s not what I saw on camera,” smirked Will.

“Oh my god,” Casey said, turning away towards the cash register as his face turned beet red. “Can we just go now?”

“Shouldn’t you try them on?”

Casey sighed in frustration. He looked around for the fitting room then stomped towards it.

“Hey, Casey,” hollered Will. Casey turned back towards Will, just as a piece of pink fabric slammed into his face. “Take this in there with you.”

It was the Panthers jersey; Will must have been carrying it with him. Clenching it in his fist, he walked in a dressing room stall and closed the door behind him, hanging the clothing up on a hook.

After he stripped down to his briefs, he pulled the sports bras off the hook. Why even bother? It’s not like he had any boobs anyways.

Letting out a long sigh, he tried to pull the first one over his head, only to find it was way too small to fit over his ribcage. Hanging it back up, he reached for the larger size and slid it down over his chest. It certainly fit better, although without any boobs it felt just as silly as he had thought it would.

Hurrying to cover it up, he yanked the Panthers jersey over his head. Will had a good eye for sizing, he conceded, as it fit perfectly — even if it was a bit tight at the waist.

Last, he pulled on the yoga shorts. Now these were tight, forcing him to jump up and down and wiggle his legs to get them over his butt. Looking down, he realized to his mortification that they didn’t hide anything either. Grinding his teeth, he reached down and tucked things back a little bit. No matter what price he had asked of Will, it certainly wasn’t enough for this humiliation.

Closing his eyes to steel himself, he turned towards the mirror and opened them slowly. He looked no different. He still looked like Casey. Just wearing a pink jersey with the outline of a bra visible underneath, and really short shorts that brought emphasis to his lower thigh tan line and the hair on his legs, even if they did, he had to admit, make his butt look pretty good.

“How is it?” Will asked from outside the changing room.

Casey stepped out of the stall and walked over so Will could see him.

Will grimaced. “You’re not hopeless, but it could use some work.”

Casey shook his head. For the first time, he actually wished Abby was here to help. “I should wear pants or jeans to hide my leg hair.”

“Pants? I don’t know if you’ve seen the forecast for this Wednesday, but it’s gonna be sweltering. You’ll melt if you wear pants to the game.” Will snapped his fingers. “Listen, I wouldn’t worry about your leg hair, Abby told me she has some stuff back at your place that can help make it not nearly as visible.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. She uses it all the time. Besides, we need to get you some boobs.”

“Do I?” Casey asked. “Don’t sports bras compress boobs down anyways?”

“Yeah, but they don’t compress down to nothing.”

“So you’re saying I need to stuff this thing too?”

“Nah, you just need a little padding. What size sports bra fit you?”

“Uhh, the large? The medium was too small.”

“Okay Case, hang tight, I’ll be right back.” Will grabbed the too-small bra from his hand, walking off as he looked down at the tag.

Not sure what else to do, Casey wandered over to an endcap mirror and looked himself over some more. Would he fool anyone at all on the Panthers, looking like this?

Suddenly he heard a man’s voice from down the aisle and panicking, ducked behind some leggings in a neighboring row.

“I just think that it wouldn’t be a bad idea for you to force femme me,” said the man, talking on his cell phone as he walked into the changing rooms. “Oh, don’t just dismiss it like that, you know it’d be fun.”

Casey’s heart was pounding against his chest and he let out a loud “eep!” as someone tapped him on his shoulder. Spinning around, he saw Will with a dumb grin on his face, holding out another sports bra.

“Here you go, Case. This one says it’s padded. Why don’t you go try it on?”

Casey looked over towards the dressing rooms, where he could still hear the muffled voice of the man who had entered earlier.

“D- do I have to? This is the same size as the one I’m wearing, and it’s by the same company, so I’m sure it’ll fit.”

“It’ll just take a second, Case. And besides, you’ll be in the stall, nobody is gonna see you putting it on. Please?”

Screw it, Casey thought. This guy could be in there another half hour even if he wasn’t talking to anybody. Snatching the bra out of Will’s hand, he turned and gently tiptoed into the dressing rooms, quietly opening an unoccupied stall, and hoping he didn’t make too much noise.

“Look, alright. I haven’t found any suspicious shops that unexpectedly popped up selling knick-knacks. All of the staff here are bored, yes, but none of them seem willing to pin me down and dress me in lingerie yet.” The voice kept speaking at a fast pace without missing a beat. “I can talk as loudly as I want, there’s nobody in this store.”

Casey held his breath, moving as quietly as possible as he took off the jersey and swapped the sports bra for the padded one.

“This sucks,” the voice from the adjacent stall said. “It’s no fun trying on women's clothes if you’re not being coerced into doing it in the first place.”

Casey looked up as if the man was talking to him through the walls. He wasn’t, right?

“I’m taking all this stuff off and giving up. Yes, I know it was my idea to come to the mall in the first place.”

Casey let out a sigh of relief. That guy was still on the phone.

“You’ll make it up to me later? Well, I know one place to start – sorry! Just joking, okay?”

Grabbing his stuff, Casey gently opened the door and silently left the dressing room, desperately relieved that his neighbor hadn’t heard him.

He found Will looking at a mannequin wearing teal leggings.

“Hey,” Casey said. "Why are there so many dudes in the women's department?”

Will shrugged, then looked at Casey’s outfit. “Hey, I like that. It also looks like you’ve got boobs too.”

Casey touched his chest to feel the bra padding. “Yeah well, these shorts fit weird in the crotch, and I’m afraid people are going to see my bulge.”

“Nah, clearly you’re a natural at tucking. Besides, the black is very concealing.”

“OK,” Casey said, uncertain. “If you’re sure. Now can we please get out of here before more dudes show up?”

Will chuckled. “Sure thing. Hey, did I see you wearing a wig yesterday?”

“Uhh… yeah. It was one of Abby’s.”

“You might need to wear that again.”

“Fine,” Casey replied. “This better be worth it.”

“It will be! Now let me pay for this and we go to the shoe store.”

“Shoe store?”

“You need girly sneakers. And some knee-high socks!”

Casey turned red in frustration. “Who’s paying for all of this?”

“I am. It’s my treat, remember?”

“Are you sure? I’m still not sure what you’re getting out of it.”

“I’m making sure my girlfriend’s kickball team doesn’t forfeit. I play on that team too. Forfeiting sucks. We all paid for this league, and that cost way more than a few pieces of clothing. Plus Darla will be happy. And you’ll get closer to Lexi, and that means my best friend is happy too.”

Casey rolled his eyes.

* * *

Casey came home carrying the nondescript brown bag from the department stores containing everything for his costume. Jersey, shorts, bra, socks, and sneakers. He rushed to his room so as to not be seen by Abby.

Of course, Abby was there for Casey’s last foray into crossdressing, but he didn’t want to invite her into this episode. The fewer people involved, the better.

He tossed his bag far into the back of his closet, then returned to the living room.

Abby was sitting on the couch with her legs up, chatting on the phone. She looked up at her housemate and grinned. “Hey Case.”

Casey sat down on a nearby chair and scrolled through his own phone. Messages from Lexi were waiting for him. He’d check those later.

Abby put her phone down and turned on the TV. She started scrolling through various streaming services to find something to watch.

Casey’s thoughts returned to his experience at the Mall. And that even weirder experience in the fitting room. The guy on the phone. What did he claim he wanted? ‘Force femme?’

He didn’t know what that meant, but it sounded… like something that Abby would know about. She did have a lot of LGBTQ friends, after all.

“Hey Abby,” he asked.

“Hmm?” she responded, not taking her eyes off the screen.

“What is force femme?”

Her face turned to surprise and she slowly turned her head to look at him. “Forced femme? Where did you hear that?”

“Umm… nowhere.” He didn’t want to tell her he overheard it while he was in a fitting room at the mall, trying on women’s clothes. “Just something I saw on the internet.”

“Oh really?” A smirk formed on her face.

“What is it?” Casey persisted.

“Well…” she started. “It’s when a… um… cis… guy is forced to conform to traditional feminine style and behaviors.”

Casey thought about the poor guy in the dressing room. “Wow. Does that really exist??”

“Oh yeah,” she replied. “There are tons of stories about it. Trans girls are obsessed with reading them.”

“Huh, that’s weird. I can’t imagine something like that happening to me.”