Chapter 10 - Alone Time

Nicole

Victor and I both walked back to my apartment. He made small talk and was complaining about the quality of the food from the dining hall. I just listened, happy this day was almost over. When we arrived Lexi was sitting at the counter eating a TV dinner. “You both just missed Mads. She said to say hi though.”

Oh yeah - I forgot to tell Lexi about the one highlight of my day.

“Hey Lexi” I said cheerfully.

“Hey Nic.” she said with a smile. “Feeling better?”

“I peed standing up today.” I announced with pride.

She burst out laughing while Victor was just shaking his head. “Was it everything guys say it is?” she asked.

“No. It was awkward. The guy next to me ignored me.”

“Wait up.” Victor interjected. “You talked to a guy while peeing at a urinal?”

“Yeah, so?”

“That's so embarrassing!” he said. “Guys dont talk to other guys in the bathroom!”

“Well sorry.” I replied. “It’s not like there was a big sign on that bathroom saying to not talk.”

He smirked at that and changed the subject. “So, did you want me to go back home? Do you want us to go and tell Madison?”

“I was ready to come clean about everything earlier.” I said. “But now, I’m just not feeling it.” I walked into the living room and over to the couch and sat down, taking a deep breath and letting out an exhale.

Victor came and sat down next to me. “What’s wrong?”

While it’s true I haven’t fully recovered from my anxiety attack earlier. This felt different. I was feeling emotionally drained. I really just wanted my life back. Then it occurred to me, and I turned to Victor. “Vic, we didn’t look for a way to swap back today.”

He was silent. “You’re right. I was so preoccupied that I completely forgot.”

“We can’t forget.”

“I know. Tomorrow is a new day. We’ll figure it out.”

“OK” I replied.

“What else?” he probed. “I can feel there’s something else.” He placed his hand on my knee. When did Victor become so empathetic? He’s been so quiet and passive since I met him. Is he finally warming up to me?

I saw my former hand sitting there on my knee. The feminine fingers. The pink nail polish I put on those nails a week ago. I turned back to look at Victor. He was sitting there in the dress I bought. The dress looked great on her. I mean him. I liked the way it really accentuated her cleavage. I stared at her breasts for a brief moment. I mean his. I mean mine. My heart started to race and I could feel my dick react again.

I really needed to get out of here. I didn’t want to be alone. But I needed to be alone. “I don’t know. I’m fine. I’m sure it’s nothing. I’m just tired. That was a lot today.” I lied. 

I’m a mess. If I’m not horny, I’m depressed and lonely. These past two days I haven’t felt like myself. Granted the one person who could empathise with me would be Victor. But I didn’t want to alarm him anymore than he already is. “I’ll leave.” I said. “I’m going to take my laptop with me so I can get some work done.”

“Are you sure?” Victor asked. “I don’t want to kick you out of your apartment for the second straight night.”

“I’m fine.” I assured him. “Besides.” I looked him in the eye and whispered. “We both have things we’d like to get done in private.” 

That may have been way too much information, but I really wanted to get out of there. His mouth dropped open in shock as I collected my laptop and put it into a bag and walked out of my apartment.

* * *

Victor

I was worried about Nicole. I don’t know what Nicole was like before the swap, but I had this feeling that she wasn’t acting herself. I suppose I wasn’t acting myself either. I’ve found myself slowly adapting to being in this body. I didn’t notice the bra I was wearing anymore, or the fact I was in a dress. Looking down I hardly even noticed I had boobs.

Why was Nicole having such a hard time? Or rather - why wasn’t I?

When Nicole left, I retreated into the bedroom, closed the door and got undressed. Off came the dress I was wearing. Next came the bra. I tossed them both into the hamper. I opened the drawer where I knew her camis were and I found an older gray t-shirt. I held it in my hand, and walked over to the mirror behind the door. 

This was the first time I’ve really been alone with nothing to do and nowhere to be - and not drunk - since the swap. I looked over the topless 21 year old woman in the mirror. She was certainly good looking. She’s totally someone I would’ve been attracted to when I was Victor.

There was a problem though. I noticed I wasn’t getting turned on. I mean, I don’t know how I should feel. When I was a male I would get an erection announcing my attraction to someone. Right now, I felt nothing. 

I knew my reflection was attractive, but I didn’t feel it.

I thought back to my conversation with Nicole at dinner. She gave me the OK to explore this body, but I just wasn’t in the mood. I wasn’t turned on or horny in the slightest.

I gently caressed a finger over my bare breasts. All that did was make my nipples erect. 

I definitely got turned on yesterday when I was with Madison. So I thought of Madison. I smiled as I could feel something stirring down there. 

I put down the shirt and laid down on the bed and closed my eyes. I rubbed my bare breasts as I thought of Madison some more. 

It wasn’t working. I just wasn’t in the mood. 

The male part of my mind wanted to. But it was like my female body wasn’t reacting to those signals.

Disappointed, I grabbed the t-shirt, pulled it on, turned off the bedroom light and crawled back into bed, disappointed and frustrated.

A minute later, the cell phone I placed on the desk started to ring and the brightness of the screen illuminated the dark room. Thankfully I hadn’t fallen asleep yet. I rolled over, reached for the phone and checked the caller ID. It was Tyler. 

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hey Nikki.” he said. “Whatcha doing?”

“I’m just laying in bed.”

“Hmm. I wish I was there with you.” He said in a sultry way.

Oh God. I hope he doesn’t try to initiate intimacy over the phone. How do I respond to this? I should tell him I’m not in that kind of mood. “No you don’t. I’ve got bad gas.”

I could hear him laughing on the other side of the phone.

“It’s not that funny.” I told him over his laughter. “It smells like something died in here.”

He continued to laugh harder. I’m glad I have Nicole and Tyler to laugh at my jokes. It's been a long time of me laughing with only myself. I couldn’t help but chuckle along with him. I’m glad he’s laughing considering I was lying my ass off. I didn’t want to stay on the phone too long with him. I thought his girlfriend talking about bodily functions would have him hang up immediately. 

“Was there something you wanted Tyler?”

“Oh yeah” he said, his laughter calming down. “I was going to grab us dinner from Julia’s.” Julia’s was a popular food joint down the street that many college students went to. I usually went there for their pizza and pressed sandwiches. “Did you want your usual?” he asked.

I knew enough to not walk into that trap. I had no idea what Nicole’s usual was. “What do I normally order again?”

“Their strawberry balsamic salad. Are you quizzing me?”

“No, it’s just been a long summer.” While that salad does sound mildly interesting, I decided to change it up. “How about we just split a pizza?”

“A pizza?” he said surprised. “OK... You wanted to split it?”

“Yeah.” I replied. “What’s your favorite topping, Tyler?”

“I um…” he said timidly. “Meat lovers…” his voice trailed off.

Oh. I forgot Nicole was a vegetarian. Well, I’m not Nicole. So fuck it. “Then get that. Meat-lovers sounds great.”

“Nic, Are you sure?”

“I’m positive.” I replied. 

“Ok then. See you tomorrow. I love you.”

I groaned internally at the L word. “Right back at you!” I hung up the phone, placed it back on the desk and rolled over back into bed.

I stared out the window alone with my thoughts. Tomorrow will be the third day I’m in Nicole’s body. The third day of life as a college woman. I adjusted to things much quicker today. What did this mean? I’m finding this new life rather exciting. Did this mean I’m secretly transgender and I didn’t know it? I was happy and secure as a male before this body swap. And now I’m finding comfort in being in Nicole’s body. 

The phone buzzed. It was a text from Tyler with an emoji of a heart. Seriously dude? I responded with 2 heart emojis. Then I added an emoji of a pizza.

Anyway. Where was I? I have friends now and it feels great. Maybe I’m confusing the two of those things. Maybe I’m just drawn to Nicole’s life, and not her gender. I am excited to spend more time with Nicole and Alexis. I hadn’t had friends in a long time. 

So what will tomorrow bring? Will this life become second nature? My mind keeps going back to whether me and Nicole are slowly becoming each other. Am I really becoming Nicole? Am I becoming more feminine? I’m not sure. But this date with Tyler is the first thing other than classes I’ve had on my schedule in a long time. I’m not going to lie, it was kinda exciting. 

I’m actually looking forward to tomorrow. 

My phone buzzed with another text message from Tyler.

Now if only Tyler will quit texting me so I can get some sleep.

* * *

Nicole

I was procrastinating. I did the dishes in Victor’s sink, I put away various odds and ends in the kitchen. I cleaned up dirty clothes all over the floor. I even put in a solid twenty minutes into working on my internship application. I was about to submit it when I realized I didn’t have Victor’s WiFi password. I can ask him later. I had something else on my mind.

I’ve never been much of a procrastinator. But I’ve also never had a dick that was begging for my attention before. Begging for it. Craving it. Reminding me every other minute of its presence under my shorts.

When I was satisfied with my cleaning spree of Victor’s apartment I retreated into the bedroom. I sat down at his desk. Just the mere thought of what I was delaying was giving me a raging boner.

I was trying to put it out of my mind. Over the past two days my mind has oscillated from depression to horniness. I don’t think Victor knows how much that humor in the morning really helped me get through the day. Being in this body felt so foreign and wrong. It was hard to articulate this to Victor who dismissed me as being embarrassed to be him. All of this was wrong. This boner was not helping matters. It was in my way. It didn’t feel right. It distracted my thoughts.

I closed my eyes, trying to drown out these thoughts. But that only amplified them. 

OK. I need to take care of this.

Victor had offered me porn. But I don’t think I needed it. Almost everything turned me on at this point. I was being overwhelmed by these hormones. The worst part was I couldn’t even think of my friends or my old body without getting turned on. Yes, I knew me and my friends were attractive. I didn’t realize we were that attractive.

When I was in my own body I rarely ever masturbated. I rarely got turned on. It usually took being in a committed relationship for me to get aroused. Or alcohol. I wonder If Victor is having the same problem I’m having.

I slid my hand over my shorts to feel it. It throbbed as my hand rested there.

How do guys do this, now? It’s always a sock on TV. I opened the sock drawer and pulled out a pair of socks and discarded one.

I can’t believe I’m going to do this. 

I stood up and dropped my shorts and boxers, and my member immediately sprung up. Rock hard.

I slid the sock over it and sat back down on the chair.

I slowly started stroking it. At first it didn’t feel right. My hand was too high and it hurt. The fabric of the sock felt rough on the tip of the penis. Then my hand was too low, and I didn’t feel any pleasure. Then I found the right place. Oh yes, that was the right spot. A random thought passed through my head of how many times I gave previous boyfriends hand jobs. Was I really doing it wrong and they just smiled and lied to me?

As I picked up speed I started to relax. As the pleasure and my heart rate increased, the worries of the day drifted away.

It was easy to flash images of my old body in my mind. That was easy and felt good. But then my mind started drifting to my friends. It felt taboo, but I could feel the cock in my hand get harder and I could feel a tightening inside me. I was on the verge of cumming. 

My mind started drifting to things I found attractive over the past few days. Victor, topless, in my body. Images of my friends in their bras and panties. Late night dance parties. That one time I got drunk and made out with…

Oh God. I’m cumming.

I ejaculated into the sock. With each squirt I could feel a wave of endorphins rush through my body. I slowly exhaled.

Oh wow was that a trip. Masturbation is like a drug. I can see now why guys get addicted to it.

For the first time in a few days I felt calm. I felt focused. I felt powerful.

After I wiped my dick clean with the sock, and tossed it into the hamper. I retrieved my boxers and took off my shirt and climbed into the bed.

As the endorphins wore off and my heart rate returned to normal I drifted off to sleep with a smile on my face. Maybe I can do this.