Chapter 9

Despite the lack of street lights, the street was brightly lit by the full moon. Our walk to town was quiet - except for the clicking and clacking of our heels and the eerie sound of the corn swaying in the breeze. 

Speaking of heels. I hate that I knew how to walk in these. I should be falling over and spraining an ankle. Instead I was walking perfectly and I could feel my ass swaying. Stupid Displaced muscle memory.

The town was visually quiet as most of the shops were closed for the night. Kelly’s Pharmacy, Bigots Diner. All dark and locked up. As for sound, I could hear the thumping of base coming from a single nondescript door right next to the liquor store. As we got closer, the thumping gave way to music. I must have passed that door last week, but never noticed it there.

Outside of the door sat a bouncer. The bouncer was massive. He looked like a pro football player. Even while perched on a stool, he towered over me.

Next to the bouncer, a sign read “PAA Students Only.” Considering there’s usually “No TGs” signs in this town, this was a nice reversal. I wonder if the rest of the town was closed on purpose.

Amanda pulled her student ID out of her bra to show the bouncer. So did Sally and Jessica.

And me. 

Yes. Before we left my dorm, I made a big stink about lacking pockets and not wanting to carry a purse. That is when Jessica without warning took my student ID and shoved it into my left bra cup to shut me up. After shaking my head in embarrassment, I grabbed a wad of cash and slid it into the other cup when nobody was looking.

The bouncer looked at my ID, then looked at me. He had orange eyes.

“You’re a shifter,” I said.

“Hi, Cate,” he said in a deep voice. “We have femme class together.” He handed my ID back to me. “You look hot tonight. Have fun!”

As the three of us walked into the club I asked Amanda, “Who was that?”

“That’s Melissa,” she replied over the music. “She said being a bouncer is a good paying gig for a shifter. Especially during Lunacy where the owners of the club don’t want Normies involved.”

I don’t think I’ll look at Mellissa the same way again. Now that I know she can crush me if she wanted to.

The club was like any other night club I’ve been in. Dark. Strobe lights. black lights that make certain clothing glow, but since everyone’s wearing black, it just makes their teeth glow green. It smelled like a cocktail of perfumes, colognes and sweat.

I followed the girls through the crowded club. Like they said, everyone around us was a teen. Although with all of the makeup and clubbing attire many of them could likely pass as 18 to 21.

The girls made a beeline to the women’s restroom where other girls were congregating in front of the mirror. None of them went into a stall and instead fixed their hair or outfits in front of the mirror.

Amanda adjusted her bra then smoothed out her dress.

When in Rome, right? I looked at myself in the mirror and copied Amanda’s mannerisms Adjusted my boobs, and smoothed out this dress. I looked at my reflection in the mirror a little more. All dolled up in a skimpy black dress and heels with tons of makeup on. What am I even doing here?

I was pulled by Sally as the group left the restroom.

I found myself in the middle of the dance floor with my three classmates dancing around me. I awkwardly tried to dance. I was never a good dancer. Even at my wedding.

As I made awkward gyrations, I wondered why Emma’s muscle memory wasn’t taking over. “I have no idea what I am doing,” I complained. 

“You’re thinking too much,” Jessica said into my ear. “You didn’t think when you put those heels on. Just lose yourself in the music.”

Lose myself in the music? I don’t even know this song. Is this what kids are listening to these days?

I closed my eyes and focused on the rhythm and beats. Before I knew it I had my arms up and was swaying to the music.

“Yeah, girl!” Jessica cheered.

I opened my eyes and realized I was dancing with them. For a moment it felt fun and thrilling. A smile formed on my face. Maybe that was Emma’s muscle memory that was smiling. 

Then I remembered who I was. I should be back home drinking a beer with Max. This was too much for me. So I decided to revert back to Jack’s Clubbing Playbook. “I’m goin’ to the bar, do you want anything?”

“No, thanks,” was the response I got from the three girls, so I snaked my way through the dance floor and found myself at the bar area. I flagged the bartender and looked around.

The bar was decorated with the same PAA school spirit swag as the dining hall. In addition to that were old photos in various stages of age. Perhaps alumni through the years? Taped to the back of the wall were different variations of Pride flags. Many of which I didn’t recognize.

On the wall opposite of the bar was a row of booths. What caught my eyes was the booth in the far corner. Sophia. This was the first time I saw her wearing black. She too was wearing a little black dress, and the only reason I know it was Sophia was she had purple and yellow striped socks and arm warmers that brightly glowed under the blacklight.

I, however, didn't see her face. That’s because - get this. She was sucking face with a boy!

“Isn’t that your roommate?” a voice asked from beside me.

I turned to find that hot teacher I crossed paths with this afternoon. 

“Yes, it is,” I replied. Why was I upset? Was I jealous?

“Hi, I’m Brittany,” she said, holding her hand out.

“Cate,” I replied, shaking it.

“We’ve already met, Cate,” she said with a familiar smile.

“Oh, yeah,” I replied, thinking back to earlier. “So, I thought this was a teens only club. I didn’t know they let teachers in.”

She laughed. “Cate, I’m a student, not a teacher. I’m 14. I’m a freshman just like you.”

I looked her up and down. “No way.” She didn’t have orange eyes. She’s not a shifter.

“I’m a Were. The full moon is very generous to us.”

“I see.” I thought they looked like teen models that day in the quad. Clearly their super power is looking like adult models.

She nodded back at Sophia and the guy. “He’s cute.”

“I’m not into dudes.”

“Oh, so you’re into your roommate?”

“I never said-”

She laughed. “You’re cute when you’re jealous, Cate.”

“I’m not jealous. I’m not cute.”

“Yes, you are. You can’t cover up that scrumptious exterior with your performative masculinity.”

I ignored that and looked back over to Sophia and the boy. “Who is he?”

“James. They’ve been seeing each other since the summer.”

“I didn’t know she had a boyfriend.”

“It's on and off again. Like - once a month. He’s a Were, like me. It’s complicated.”

I then thought back to my first day here. Sophia saw a Were-girl wave to her and got embarrassed. “Ohh - so he’s the biter.”

“Do you like biters, Cate?”

“No. My ex-wife was a bloodsucking fiend.”

“Shame. Even blood sucking fiends can be fun.”

Just then the bartender stopped in front of me. I recognized her from the bigot diner last week. She was the waitress who advised us not to wear our uniforms there. She looked at me as if she also recognized me. “What can I get for you?”

“Budweiser,” I replied.

She looked at me with a stern expression, like she was not amused. “Try again.”

I shrugged. It was worth a try. “Fine. Coke.”

The bartender came back with a clear plastic cup filled with ice then shot Coke in it with the soda gun. “If you want to know about your friend, stop by Saturday at lunch,” she said, sliding the cup to me. “Try to look inconspicuous this time.” 

So she did recognize me. I nodded, paid for the drink and tip. 

Finally! I now have a lead I can follow. Maybe I’ll also get that pastrami sandwich. I guess tonight wasn’t a waste after all.

I took a sip and instantly felt the carbonated bite of the cola.

“Do you want to dance, Cate?” Brittany asked.

“Well, I only just learned how to dance tonight.”

“I could tell.” She smiled.

“Were you watching me?”

“Guilty. Now how about that dance?”

I shrugged. “Fine. I make no promises I won’t embarrass us both though.”

She grabbed my hand and led me out to the dance floor. We walked by Amanda who winked at me.

I closed my eyes and let the music take over me again. Before I knew it, I was twerking. I felt Brittany grinding on me. She held my hips. I didn’t know what to do. I was dancing to the music, but didn’t know what move to make next. It then occurred to me that muscle memory wasn’t going to help if we started doing something that… Emma never did. That reminded me that I’m 14 and there’s a limit to what this body knows how to do.

“Relax,” Brittany blew into my ear.

Her warm breath gave me goosebumps. I closed my eyes again, and tried to put myself into the shoes of previous women I’ve danced with. I liked it when they’d back their ass up into me, so I did that to Brittany.

“There you go, Cate.”

I started to feel flush. Yes, it was hot in this club, but I was getting all sorts of sensations that only happened when I would get turned on. What did my friends say last week? “Stupid hormones.” I was well aware of them raging. They were getting in the way of my confidence. I felt like I was a teenage boy again. So awkward. Unable to say anything witty or clever. “I need a break.”

I made a beeline back to the bar to order another Coke. Before I could flag the bartender, I realized Brittany had followed me.

I looked at her and was taken by surprise when she grabbed my face and pulled me in for a kiss.

Our lips met and her tongue pushed through to meet mine.

When she pulled back a second later, I was stunned. “Wow, that was forward,” was all I could muster.

She backed up and looked at me. “You’re not used to being pursued?”

“No,” I said. “I’m used to being the guy. I’ve only been a girl for a week. Honestly, this is all overwhelming to me.”

“Then you pursue me, Cate. Be the guy.”

Wow. I kinda wish I had this kind of luck when I was a guy. Something felt off, though, I was flooded with so many emotions. Nervousness. Giddiness. I felt like a teenager again. “I’m not really on my game.” I let out a nervous laugh. “Usually I have my male charisma. A witty one-liner…”

“Then let me pursue you.”

She kissed me again, and this time I opened my mouth and let her in freely. Her tongue massaged mine.

She then started sucking on my jaw, and then my neck.

I let out a moan.

I suddenly turned red with embarrassment and cupped my mouth. What was that? That wasn’t one of my erogenous zones! 

“Someone was liking that.” Brittany whispered.

“It’s just that… I… “ That teenage hormone part of me was giddy with excitement at having a new body to explore. The other part of me that was a 42 year-old-guy was trying to tame her. Down, girl. “This isn’t my body-”

I felt a hand on my arm. I looked over and it was Amanda.

She whispered. “Are you OK? Do you need to be saved?” 

Huh? I never had wing-women before. I imagine if I wanted to be saved from this gorgeous woman in front of me, all I’d need to do is tell Amanda, and my three friends will pull me out. A part of me considered it. I was in over my head and wasn’t in control of this situation. But I was kinda thriving on the lack of control here. What did Max say to me? Enjoy being a teenager again. I turned and whispered. “I’m fine. Thx.”

Amanda smiled at me, winked and disappeared back into the crowd.

“Did you tell your friends you’re good?” Brittany asked.

“How’d you know?”

“It might be your first night out as a girl, but it’s not mine.”

“So did your friends try to save you from me yet?” I nervously chuckled.

“Yes, actually. Before I came over here. Your reputation precedes you.”

“What do people say about me?”

“That cute petite girl who hasn’t let go of her past life as a guy and is quick to get angry.”

“Yeah, that sounds like me. Except the cute part.”

“Hey, let’s get a booth,” she said, grabbing my hand. I felt powerless as I gave into my teenage hormones and followed her into the dark booth.

When we got to the booth I went in first, and she followed me. WIthin seconds she was all over me. I couldn’t help myself and I followed her lead.

Her hands were all over me. On my hips. My back. She cupped my breasts. Her kisses found every single erogenous zone on my ears and neck. I clearly had a lot of them now. I stopped resisting her and let myself moan and let Brittany know what she was doing was welcome.

Brittany was getting off on my moans. Hell, I was too.

But It was when her hands touched my thigh and worked their way under that short dress, that I was snapped out of it. My mind and body were finally on the same page and both told me to stop.

I grabbed her hand to stop it. “I can’t.”

She looked at me with pleading eyes. The same pleading eyes I would give former lovers when my desire was cut short.

“Sorry. I’m not ready.” I sat up and smoothed out the dress.

“I respect that. We don’t have to do anything more than we're doing. Do you wanna get out of here? Maybe get some coffee? I swear I’ll respect your boundaries.”

I nodded. 

She gently held my hand and we walked through the club. 

I followed Brittany out of the club and passed some knowing glaces by Amanda, then the bouncer, Melissa. My head was still spinning and I felt buzzed. And I hadn’t had a single alcoholic drink. 

* * *

I expected we would go to a Starbucks for coffee and conversation, but instead we walked towards cornfields and the campus.

“I thought we were going for coffee,” I finally asked.

“We are,” she smiled. “Nothing is open in town during the full moon.”

That made sense and angered me at the same time. The local businesses were so concerned with their bigotry, they’d turn down making money.

We entered the campus gates and slowly walked through the campus, holding hands. Not much was said as we both took in the campus under moonlight.

The campus was beautiful in the moonlight. Even more so when we got to the quad. Every beautiful ornate building was casting equally beautiful shadows. Shadows of trees and reflections of moonlight off the stained glass windows danced around the quad. It was magical. As if these buildings were constructed with a full moon in mind.

I followed Brittany into Colby hall and to her dorm room. Oh my God, is this girl taking me back to her room? Part of me was worried that we were going to continue our intimacy here. A worry I never had as a guy. Why was I worried about that now? Was I worried I was taking advantage of Brittany? Was I worried she was going to take advantage of me?

In some ways I’m reminded of the night Cheryl and I first met. I was a nervous wreck. None of my typical jokes landed. But she laughed away. Then she’d make jokes and I felt like I had met my match. I don't think Brittany is anything like Cheryl, but the way she is making me feel is putting me on the same awkward footing. 

I have no idea what I was doing. Normally I had a plan of action. Conversations I wanted to start. A plan to look for body language. Something to tell me if I should make a move. But normally I was the one taking a girl to my home. 

Brittany is completely in control of this situation. And we both know it.

She turned on the lights. I was prepared for her to ravish me. But instead she quietly walked over to her coffee maker and started brewing instant coffee.

I looked around her room. Two beds. I couldn’t tell which side was hers and which side was her roommates. Neither side was overly masculine or feminine. Lots of neutral earth tones.  Very neatly kept.

“How do you like it?” She asked.

“I like my coffee like I like my-” I started to reply. But I stopped mid sentence and looked at her. Where was I going with that? That’s something Jack would say. Something he’d say to joke around with guys. To show that he treats women like objects to desire. Standing here - as a teenage girl - with another teenage girl - it just felt different. “Cream and sugar are just fine.”

I felt my face go flush. Am I burning up? I hate feeling like a teenager again. I’m totally screwing this up right?

She chuckled as she poured cream and sugar into the coffee and handed it to me. She then worked on a second mug for herself. “Well. For your information. I like my coffee strong and sweet.” She then winked at me.

Well I’m not sweet, so she can’t be talking about me right?

She sat down on one of the beds and motioned me to join her.

I complied and sat next to her. Both of us drinking coffee. Just like she said we would.

“Are you a big coffee drinker?” she asked.

“I used to be. My first cup in this body was this morning.”

“Two cups in one day.” she giggled. “You might not get to sleep.”

I bit my lip. That was totally an open for me to comment that we wouldn't be doing any sleeping tonight. But that’s what Jack would say on a date.

“Tell me about yourself, Cate.” she asked.

“I mean, what’s to tell? Over a week ago, I crossed paths with a Slider. I was living the normal life of a 42 year-old-guy.”

“You said you had an ex.”

“Yeah. Divorced for over a year now.”

“How’d that happen?”

I took a sip. “I’m an asshole.”

“If you’re really an asshole I doubt you two would’ve been married.”

“Well back then she found my wit charming. I was confident. She and I would trade barbs back and forth. She’d be able to handle what I could dish out and volley it back to me.”

“What happened?”

“That’s it.” What did happen? I’ve had many nights at the bar drinking with Max, confessing that I fucked my marriage up. “There’s nothing more. I proposed because I thought that's what couples do. I thought that was the next step. But I never grew up. She needed more from me than just being there. I’ve been independent for all of my adult life so I didn’t know what it was like to really be reliant on someone else.”

“How about now? You’ve had time to reflect. Are you seeing someone new?”

“Before getting displaced? I’ve dated on and off. I’m a guy after all. I was on Tinder for a few hook-ups. But why put any more effort into it? I know I’m rough around the edges. I know I sabotage relationships. Why do I deserve love?”

“Everyone deserves love. OK, you told me about your dead-life. Tell me about Cate.”

“Dead life? I’m still him. I plan on being him again.”

She shrugged and took a sip of coffee, waiting for my answer.

“Well, I’ve only been Cate for a week.”

“Does Cate deserve love?”

I looked into Brittany’s eyes. How do I answer that? My hormones were telling me to set this coffee down and kiss her. But I told myself earlier to slow down. I got the distinct impression from my reaction at the bar that my body was trying to tell me it was still a virgin. A message my brain heard loud and clear. “It doesn’t matter. This body is on loan. Its host deserves a full life. She’s not here. I am. I have to respect that.”

Brittany looked at me with a judgemental expression.

“What’s that look for?”

“Cate. Has nobody told you?”

“Told me what?”

“Displaceds almost never return to their original bodies. That is your body now.”

“There’s still a chance,” I countered.

“What’s her name?”

I paused and looked down at my coffee. “Emma.”

“Well. Let me tell you something that I know. Emma is not here. That asshole guy you talked about. He’s not here either. I’m sitting here with Cate Fox. She’s strong, she’s cute, and she’s very deserving of love and affection.” She took her free hand, gently grabbed my head and pulled me into a gentle kiss.

When the kiss was over she looked at me. “I promised you I’d behave myself. So you are more than welcome to spend the night here. Or I can walk you to your dorm.”

She wants to walk me home? I mulled that over before coming to the safe option. “I think I should just go… after our coffee, that is.”

She nodded and we finished our coffees and she walked me home. We still held hands. My heart felt like it was beating out of my chest. 

When we got to Cooper Hall, she asked, “when can I see you again?”

I so wanted to say, “Right now. Come up to my room. Or let's go back to yours.” But instead decided to let tonight end. “Tomorrow night maybe?”

Brittany smiled. She was gorgeous standing there in the moonlight. “Then it’s a date. Meet me at the lake at sunset.”

“The lake? We have a lake?”

“Good night, Cate,” she smiled again, giving me goosebumps. 

I watched her walk away before I retreated back into my building. It was quiet as I walked up to the fourth floor. The sound of my heels echoed in the stairwell. What was I doing? I can’t be dating a girl here.

As I entered my room, I noticed Sophia wasn’t home yet. I undressed out of the skimpy dress I was wearing and then discarded the bra. The student ID and cash dropped to the floor. I sighed. I was so close to removing a bra that was not my own.

I put a T-shirt on, crawled into bed, and fell asleep hoping to dream about the path I didn’t take tonight.