Chapter 2

I felt nauseated as I gripped the edge of the bed. “Pull yourself together Cate,” I told myself as I took my phone from Alyssa. “Thanks,” I said to her as I put it back to my ear. “Sorry, Max. I’m back.” 

“Let’s talk about this later,” Max said, and hung up.

Alyssa was looking worried as she sat next to me and put her hand on my back. “Emma, talk to me.”

“I’m OK,” I lied, not even trying to sound convincing.

“Who was that? That was bad news wasn’t it?”

The words were on the tip of my tongue. “Someone I know… knew… died,” I managed to choke out.

“Oh my God, Emma, I’m so sorry.” Alyssa hugged me tight. It wasn’t unwelcome. 

I reciprocated the hug. Human interaction felt nice. It helped. The room stopped spinning and I was able to stuff that emotional outburst back into the box it came from. 

Stupid hormones. 

At least that's what I told myself. It’s been my go-to excuse for the emotional trauma I’ve been carrying. 

This is no big deal right? My former body is dead, and I’m a middle-aged guy stuck in a teenage girl's body. I can pull myself together. 

I took a deep breath and managed to finally compose myself. “It’s OK,” I lied again. “I haven’t seen him in nearly 11 months.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” I replied abruptly. I didn’t want to reopen Pandora's box. No doubt those teenage hormones were on the verge of bursting the dam. I didn’t need to make a scene in front of Alyssa. Besides, she wasn’t privy to the truth about me, Emma, and the Body Hopper. “Let’s just go to the pool.”

“OK,” she said softly, not believing me. “If you need to talk, I’m here for you.”

* * *

Alyssa and I sat by the pool for at least an hour. Despite doing my best to compose myself, I was still off. I no longer felt like swimming, so I sat on the edge with my legs dangling into the water. A few times, Alyssa tried to pry into my emotional state, but I kept shutting her down.

I certainly wasn’t pleasant company to be around right now. She sensed that and finally excused herself to go home. I kinda felt guilty for ignoring her.

When she was gone I was able to be alone. I retreated into my bedroom and closed the door. The Kincades didn’t notice, or didn’t care. Which was fine with me.

I paced the room back and forth, replaying what possibly could’ve happened to my original body. The last I saw of it, it was running away from me. Stolen by the Slider - my term for a person who has the power to body swap at will. 

Does that mean the Slider was dead too? Or did they hop out of my body and into another victim? That would mean that that victim would’ve been the one in my body to kick the bucket.

How did he die? I haven’t seen him in 11 months. I spent 42 years with that body. I couldn’t help but feel remorse for its untimely demise. Plus remorse for the next victim. I should’ve been working that case. Instead I’ve taken over the life of a 15 year-old girl – going to lacrosse camp, having sleepovers, and lounging around the pool—

God, I’ve become so girly. Jack from 11 months ago would scoff at how much I’ve assimilated into being a teenage girl.

How much of that was the hormones? How much of that was that school? How much of it was me, actually enjoying it?

I’m still me. I wanted to reach out to someone. When I was Jack, I would reach out to Max. My boss and best friend. He was the first person I called when my ex-wife and I separated. I needed someone who knew of my real situation. Max certainly did. I could call him back right now. But he couldn’t possibly understand. But I had a new close friend, one I felt an emotional connection to. One who might understand. I found myself texting my PAA roommate, Sophia. I started typing without thinking much of it. “Hey Soph. I heard they found Jack dead.”

I laid my phone down, but not even a minute went by before it buzzed.

“WHAAT?!?” was her reply.

I wasn't sure what to type back, but a few seconds later my phone rang. It was Sophia.

I answered it. “Hey.”

“Tell me what happened. Are you OK?”

I suddenly regretted texting her as I wasn’t really ready to talk. “I wasn’t there. But I kinda don't want to talk about it. I just thought you’d like to know.”

“Cate, I know when a friend is crying for help.”

“I’m not crying. I just can’t talk about it, Soph. Not yet. Bye.”

Why did I even text her? I can imagine my former therapist asking me that exact question. Clearly I needed to talk, but I didn’t want to talk. At least not yet.

* * *

The next day went very much like the previous day. Lacrosse camp in the morning. I was much more subdued though. My heart wasn’t in it and everyone around me could tell.

You’d think that a 43-year-old guy would be able to mask his emotions better, but being stuck in this body, I felt like I was always on the verge of a breakdown. I blamed it on the hormones, but my former therapist would also bring up the trauma of the past year. And the trauma of my divorce. And the trauma of losing my partner years before that. I’m sure there’s even trauma beyond that, thanks to my parents.

Alyssa followed me home again. This time uninvited. I insisted I was OK, but she didn’t believe me. I used to be better at lying.

When we walked into the house, Carmen greeted us again with two lemonades. “Miss Emma, you have a visitor.”

I smirked and looked at Alyssa. Of course I have a visitor, she’s standing right here. Then I realized she didn’t mean Alyssa. “A visitor?” I echoed, my face scrunching up wondering who it could be.

“In your bedroom.”

“My bedroom?” I echoed, voice rising in pitch. That’s a weird place for a visitor to be. Who would Carmen let into my bedroom? Was it Max? Or maybe the Slider so I could enact revenge. If it was the latter, I may have to have a chat with Carmen about letting strange men into my bedroom. Or maybe Carmen apprehended and gift-wrapped him for me. That would be an awesome gift and I’d insist she deserved a raise.

I left my bag at the door and ran up to my bedroom with Alyssa at my heels like a hungry puppy.

Sitting on my bed, idly leafing through Emma’s lacrosse scrapbook, was Sophia Blake, my PAA roommate. She was dressed in a rainbow crop top, baby-blue miniskirt, yellow arm warmers, and had her blonde hair pulled into twin pigtails.

“Cate!” she blurted out, bouncing up from my bed and giving me a bear hug. “It's sooo good to see you!”

“It’s good to see you, too,” I squeaked out from the vice grip, flashing a look to Alyssa.

She let go and looked at Alyssa. “Hi, I’m Sophia, Cate's roommate from back at school.” 

Alyssa curiously cocked her head. “I’m Alyssa. Emma and I have been friends since middle school.”

Sophia turned back to me, “O.M.G., Cate, you didn’t tell me you had a bestie from back home.”

Alyssa stood there shocked and furrowed her brows curiously at me. “Cate?”

Sophia’s sunny disposition disappeared as it turned to a condescending stare at me. “You didn’t tell her?”

“It never came up,” I pleaded, looking from one girl to another.

“Tell me what?” Alyssa asked, growing more confused by the minute.

“I thought we weren’t supposed to tell anyone,” I stated.

“Yeah - we don’t tell the media or the public,” Sophia agreed. “But we can tell our family and friends.”

“I’m confused,” Alyssa said, crossing her arms.

“I don’t know, now isn’t the best time,” I said, trying to stop this line of questioning. “Maybe we can talk about it after Alyssa leaves.”

“Nah, this is the perfect time!” Sophia insisted, sitting down on my bed with a bounce. “Alyssa, want to hear a story? It involves magic and an awesome best friend.”

“Sure.” Alyssa shrugged her shoulders, her look of confusion showing no signs of abating.

“Oh my God,” I said, covering my face with my hands. This is a nightmare. I peeked out between my fingers. 

Both girls looked expectantly at me waiting for me to tell them a story.

“C’mon, Cate. Story time!” Sophia said, bouncing on the bed. “Sto-ry time! Sto-ry time!”

I sighed and shook my head in futile resistance. I’ve learned during my time being Sophia’s roommate that she can be quite annoying with her persistence. “Fiiiine,” I reluctantly agreed, to stop Sophia’s chant. “Alyssa, remember the day I attempted to run away?”

“Yeah,” Alyssa replied matter of factly. “I was supposed to be your alibi.”

“Right. So… that wasn’t me. That was Emma - the real Emma.”

Alyssa shook her head in confusion. “You are Emma, silly.”

“Let me explain.” I took a deep breath. “So Emma’s at the train station, getting ready to run to that piece-of-shit online boyfriend of hers.”

“Why are you talking in the third person?”

“You wanted me to tell you a story, right?”

She nodded.

“So Emma’s parents put out a missing person’s report on her that morning. A handsome and daring detective named Jack Baker took the call.”

“You forgot to add ‘a middle-aged, divorced narcissist,’” Sophia teased, rolling her eyes.

“Hey, do you want me to tell the story or not?”

Sophia blew me a raspberry in jest.

“So Jack and Emma see each other and Emma tries to flee. But there was someone else there. An asshole magical being called a Body Hopper.” I paused for effect - and to make sure what I said sunk in.

“A … Body Hopper?” Alyssa repeated, not quite comprehending the words I said. “What is a Body Hopper?”

“A Body Hopper is someone who can swap bodies with another person, just by touching them.”

“Ohhkay…”

So - the Body Hopper - let’s name him Asshole. Well, Asshole grabs Emma. There’s a faceoff between Asshole and Jack. Asshole does something to Emma. He swaps with her. Jack doesn’t know this and subdues the Hopper’s original body - who is now really Emma. That’s when Emma - who is really the Asshole in her body swaps with Jack. Emma and Asshole flee separately, leaving Jack behind - in Emma's body.”

Alyssa sat still on the bed silently trying to process all of that. The look on her face told me I wasn’t getting through to her.

I took a deep breath. “So to recap. Emma is in the Hopper's body, the Hopper is in Jack’s body, and Jack is in Emma’s body.” I took a deep breath and looked at Alyssa. “I’m Jack. And I am so sorry for deceiving you all this time.”

“You’re… Jack? Wait - so who is Cate?”

“Well, I’m Cate too. I was told I don't look like a Jack. So, the school highly encouraged me to pick a girl’s name. I named myself after my Aunt Cate.”

“This is a very imaginative tale, Emma. Are you taking creative writing classes at school?”

“No.”

Alyssa didn’t have any response to that. She was clearly trying to figure out if I was telling a tall tale. Well - this tale was fantastic. But it was the truth. “You’ve got questions. Fire away.”

“Do your parents know?”

“That’s your first question? No. Not at all. My parents are pushing up daisies.”

“Cate,” Sophie chided, punching me in the shoulder.

I chuckled. “And neither do Emma's parents. I’m not sure what the Kincades would do, finding out that a middle-aged guy took their daughter’s place— and not just anyone, but the detective who lost her.”

“Then why were you sent away to boarding school? I thought it was because you ran away. I knew you were lying when you told everyone you went to a lacrosse magnet school.”

I chuckled at the cleverness of my white lie. “Well, it’s really a special school for victims of gender transformation. I used to be Jack. Sophia here used to be a guy, too.”

“Cate, W.T.F?” Sophia shot back. “Don’t out me.”

“Sorry.”

Alyssa curiously looked at Sophia. “You used to be a guy?”

“I’m trans,” Sophia said reluctantly. “But the less we talk about my dead-self, the better.”

“Emma, are you trying to tell me you’re trans?” Alyssa asked. “Do you want to transition to a guy? You didn’t need a crazy story to come out to me.”

“No, I’m not trans,” I explained, shaking my head. “I’m saying Emma and I swapped bodies. I am literally a guy trapped in her body.”

“OK, so then everyone at your school is a boy-turned-girl?”

“There are girls-turned-boys, too,” I added. “And Weres and Shapeshifters and nonbinary kids.”

“I think you’ve been watching too much Netflix, Emma.”

“She’s telling the truth,” Sophia reinforced.

“So you’re really a guy?” Alyssa asked, trying to convince herself that her best friend was not who she thought she was.

“Yes!” I raised my hands. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. Haven’t you noticed any changes in my behavior since I’ve been home?”

“But, but you don’t really act like a guy.”

“Well…” I sighed and internally cringed at what I was about to admit out loud. “That’s kinda what PAA does. They teach us how to assimilate. I’m really a guy on the inside. But no matter what they teach me, hair, makeup, or whatever, I’ll never be Emma.”

“I suppose…you’re more aloof. More aggressive. Kind of a bitch to other girls, now. You curse more.” Her expression changed. “You’ve forgotten things. Things that Emma knew. That black eye when you first came home.” Alyssa looked into my eyes, everything clicked, and she had a tiny look of belief. “If what you’re saying is true - what now? You’re just going to keep pretending to be Emma?”

“I’ve spent the last eleven months hoping one day I’d get a call that they’ve found my original body or that they’d found the real Emma. Believe me, I want nothing more than to put everyone back into their proper bodies. I want to go home…” I closed my eyes for dramatic effect. I sat down on the bed next to Alyssa and opened one eye to see her reaction, but all I saw was the blurry image formed by a tear.

Everyone was silent. I was waiting for Alyssa to finally insert that last puzzle piece.

She finally did. “W-What was that call yesterday?”

I opened my eyes and wiped away the tears forming in them. Stupid hormones. “My-my body - my original body - Jack - was found… dead.” I could barely speak that last word.

Neither Alyssa or Sophia said anything. 

“So, I can never return to my own body. I still want to give this one back to Emma. I owe her that. But I don’t know what’s going to happen now. I suppose if or when Emma finally shows up, I can take whatever body she currently has so she can get this one back. If we even can swap back. We would have to find another Hopper or some other way…”

Alyssa looked deep in thought.

“You have more questions. I’ll try to answer them. Let me guess, your next question is: where is the real Emma, right?”

“It’s just that…” She got up from the bed and started pacing. “I didn’t believe him. I thought he was some creepy guy!”

That wasn’t what I was expecting from her. “Wait, what?” I asked. “Who?”

“The day after you ran away - I mean when Emma ran away. A creepy guy pulled me aside at school. He claimed to be her. He knew all these personal details. I didn’t believe him.”

“Emma came to see you?” I said, jumping off the bed. “Was he 30-ish? Overweight? Fat nose?”

“I don’t really remember. I was scared. I thought he was just some creeper trying to abduct me. I mean, like— stranger danger!”

“Is she still around?”

“No,” Alyssa said frantically. “I threatened to call a teacher or school security. He… or I guess… she… ran away.”

“And you never saw them again?”

“No.”

“I need to tell this to Max— I mean the police,” I announced. “Maybe compare your memory to the sketch I had done.”

“I don’t know,” Alyssa said. “That was almost a year ago. I barely remember anything about him.”

I sat down, deflated. So much time had passed. Any information Alyssa could provide was out of date. Emma would be long gone after being denied by her best friend.

“So you’re really not Emma?” Alyssa asked. “You’re not making this up?”

I slowly shook my head.

Alyssa started backing away from me. “And you’re really an older guy pretending to be her?”

I nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“The black eye?”

“Well, I was looking for this missing girl, and ran into some drug dealers who didn’t appreciate that I’d stumbled upon their hideout.”

Sophia chuckled. “Classic Cate.”

“Hey, I should go,” Alyssa said with a frown.

‘Well, I got my shots in too,” I made sure to add.

“No, I mean, this is a lot to process,” Alyssa confessed. “My best friend has been missing for nearly a year and I’ve been hanging out with…” She motioned to me.

“I understand,” I said. “I’m an imposter and she’s missing.”

Alyssa silently nodded.

“It was nice meeting you,” Sophia chirped.

“Oh, yeah, same here,” Alyssa replied, clearly overwhelmed by the whole situation. I couldn’t blame her.

“Alyssa,” I said before she could leave. “You can’t tell anyone. No one would understand.”

“And it would jeopardize our safety,” Sophia added.

“And again, I’m sorry for deceiving you for so long.”

She nodded again. “I mean. Who would believe me?” She then turned and left the bedroom.

I turned to Sophia, who was sitting quietly on the bed. “Do you think she’ll be OK?”

“Oh yeah. She’s just been introduced to a secret minority of people she didn’t know existed. She just needs a little time.”

Lost in the past few minutes was the fact that my school roommate had shown up uninvited. “Sophia, why are you here?”

“Cate, your body is dead. I’m your bestie. I’m here for you. Even if you don’t want me to be here. I owe you so much. Besides, it’s not like I had anywhere else to be for the rest of the summer.”

“The rest of the summer?”

“Yeah, you know I was staying on campus over the summer, right? I really have nowhere else to be, and the campus is so quiet and empty right now. Just students who don’t have families. Like me.”

“I know,” I whispered. “How’d you get here?”

“Bus,” she replied. “Actually, multiple buses. Then Uber. The mass transit around here sucks.”

“Yeah, well, welcome to suburban America.”

“Yeah, as if I know better anyway. I grew up in Weatherford. It’s not like we had any transit.”

We sat there in silence for a moment. “So, did you get any more details about Jack?”

“No. I was afraid to ask.”

Another few moments passed in silence.

“Hey, so… Carmen makes great lemonade!” Sophia suddenly said, grabbing her glass off the nightstand and taking a big gulp.

“Since you’re here…” I began.

Sophia jumped off the bed and gave me a big hug. She squeezed me hard. “I thought you’d never ask.”

“I meant— I was going to offer you up our pool,” I wheezed.

She let go of her hug. Her face lit up. “Really? But I didn’t bring any bathing suits.”

“I— I mean Emma— has plenty that’ll likely fit you.”

* * *

I showed Sophia the drawer of swimsuits - the ones too skimpy for me - and I got dressed into my own. I wore the same orange top with the board shorts. When I was alone, I texted Max that I wanted to talk about it in person. Sometimes bad news should be delivered in person and not the phone. You know - breakups, divorce papers - letting you know your original body is dead.

Sophia came out wearing a neon pink two-piece bikini, and had switched her pigtails into a single high ponytail. The bikini really accentuated how pasty white she was. She was still wearing her yellow arm warmers, however.

“Soph,” I said, putting my hand on her shoulder. “It’s just me. You don’t need to cover up your arms. I’ve seen them.”

“Well, you don’t need to cover up your thighs either,” she retorted, sticking out her tongue. She held up her covered forearms. “It’s just…your family - I mean Emma’s family - hasn’t. I’ll take them off when we get to the pool.”

I escorted her through the house and out back to the pool.

She gingerly took a few steps into the water. “Oh, that’s nice.”

“Well it’s been hot this week,” I said, planting my ass on the edge of the pool and letting my legs dangle into the lukewarm pool water.

“I mean - do you know how long it's been since I’ve been in a pool?”

“How long?”

“Seth was like, 15,” she admitted. She occasionally talked about her former life as a guy as if he was a different person. “I hated people seeing my body.”

Sophia dove off the steps making a minor splash. When she came up she pushed her hair out of her eyes then she took off her arm warmers and tossed them next to me as she slowly swam.

Watching her swim back and forth was oddly calming. She was at ease. I wish I was as calm as she was. I felt like my life was a storm.

I heard the pool gate unlock and Max came through into the pool area. 

Sophia swam back to me and put her arm warmers back on before getting out of the pool. “Who’s that?”

“It’s Max, my - Jack’s - best friend, and chief of police.”

“Cate,” he said, coming closer to us. “Your housekeeper said I’d find you here.”

“Max,” I replied, standing up with a smile. “It’s been a while, my old friend.”

This is typically the point where we’d both do a bro-hug. But he quickly looked me up and down and averted his eyes. I can see how he wouldn’t want to hug a bikini-clad teenage girl who wasn’t related to him. I quickly grabbed a towel to cover my bikini top. “It’s better than going topless,” I said with a shrug.

“It’s fine,” he said. “You're a teenage girl. You’re doing what you should be doing.”

“Is it OK to talk?” he asked, glancing at Sophia who got out of the pool to sit on a lounge chair.

“Yeah,” I replied. “Max, this is Sophia - she’s also a TG from PAA. She’s my roommate. Sophia, this is Max.”

“Hi, Sophia,” he said.

“I’m sorry to hear about Jack,” Sophia replied.

“Thank you,” he said, looking at me.

“What can you tell me?” I asked. “Was he the Body Hopper?”

“I don’t know for sure.”

“How did he…”

“Do you really want to know?”

“Yeah.”

“Mind if I sit?” he asked, motioning to the chaise behind him.

“Sure,” I replied.

Max then sat down on the chaise and I followed his lead. “He was found about two weeks ago. Two hours away. A creek near a popular hiking trail.”

“A hiking trail?”

“Yeah. Some hikers heard a gunshot, and when they went to investigate, they found him face down in the creek.”

“And you just told me now?”

“Well, it took a while to identify the body. He didn’t have any wallet, no phone, no ID, no badge on him. Nothing. It took a while for this to reach my desk since it happened in a different jurisdiction. Since I’m the only one who knows about the Body Hopper, it's my working theory that whoever was wearing Jack’s skin had ditched all his personal effects before… before the end.”

“So… you think the Hopper jumped out?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper.

“It’s the only thing that makes sense,” Max confirmed, leaning forward. “He was using your badge and ID to get around, which is why we were able to follow him. The badge hasn’t been found. He’s still using it."

The implication hit me like a physical blow. The Slider - the Body Hopper - had likely found a new host and then killed the unfortunate victim who was stuck in my old body. It wasn’t the Hopper who died; it was another innocent person.

"And listen, there’s something else," Max continued, his voice dropping lower. "Just yesterday, we got a new missing persons report. A hiker, male, 23. One of the hikers that found the body. Ditched his friends a day later. Ditched his phone. Never checked in again. Looks like the Hopper might have found a new body right there in that forest."

My mind went blank. Another victim. Because of me. Because I hadn’t stopped the Slider.

“I need to talk to those hikers,” I insisted.

“We’re already on it,” Max replied. “And we’re looking into finding the missing hiker.”

“I can help—”

“Cate, we got it.”

I stared straight ahead, speechless, the heat of the sun suddenly oppressive.

Max must have taken my silence as a signal of distress. He shifted uncomfortably. “The funeral is Saturday morning… if you’re interested.”

I felt queasy again. I had tried to pretend everything was normal. A funeral would mean this was real.

“You don’t have to go.” Max said, standing up. “I can’t imagine how hard this is for you.”

“It’s just another day in the life of Cate Fox, Chief. Weird is the name of the game.”

With that, Max nodded at both me and Sophia, then turned around and walked away.

“Should I go?” I asked Sophia. “To my own funeral?”

“That’s up to you. You’re at least getting a funeral. My parents disowned me and pretended Seth never existed.”

“It’s gotta be weird right? Going to one's own funeral?”

Sophia slid the arm warmer off her right arm, slowly tracing the scars on her forearm. “Seth used to wonder who would come to his funeral - if anyone.”

I put my hand over hers. “I would… if you were to have one, that is. Not that I want you to have one.”

She smiled, but it was a sad smile of acknowledgement and comfort. Her eyes were looking off at the tranquil pool water. “I understood what you meant.” She then leaned against me and rested her head on my shoulder. “Whatever you choose, I’ll be there for you.”

I smiled back, but for one of the first times I didn’t have a plan, that didn’t sit well with me.